|Reviews for Prince of Mirkwood|
| Kestrel of Valinor chapter 1 . 4/15/2005
*Sniff* HOW COULD YOU KILL MY LEGGIE!
...I will...(Moony suddenly looks menacing) I will...sick Theodore on you! (Theodore looks up from bed...yawns)"Meow!"
::mutters to self:: ::stupid cat::
(Theodore looks offendid, but gets up to eat anyway)
Legolas: (head appears round computor room doorway) what are you doing?
Moony: NOTHING! (hides computor behind back)
Moony: ah-he-he-ah DORIAN!
Dorian: Hello all.(bows)
Legolas: (Makes strangled screaching noise) YOU! YOU! WHO INVITED YOU!
Dorian:(sees computor)Are you offending Theodore?
Theodore: (steals computor) meowah hahahah!
((Lan walks in))
Nynaeve: Uh Duh
Legolas: Is that all she can say?
Nynaeve: Uh Hu Duh
Nynaeve:(flustered) UH DUH UH DUH UH DUH!
Nynaeve: (dies) Uh Du-blearghghgh (thump)
::I think i will let Nynaeve end this::
Nynaeve: u-u-u-u duh-duhhm(the end)
| nautika chapter 1 . 12/2/2004
Wow! Who chould be harsh? This is such a good story idea. The ending was really, really good. The only suggestion I have it to divide it up a little. With all of it in one paragraph it was a little hard to read, but that may have been
| Jedi Gollum chapter 1 . 12/2/2004
It is good, but what you should try to do is space it. Double space, one enter will do nothing. Like, maybe make things look like this:
Gimli sat sadly next to the bed, watching the Elven Prince of Mirkwood wheezing.
“Gimli, I am going to be alright,” His friend reassured him. Gimli choked back tears.
“No. NO! You can’t die. I would have nothing, NOTHING!”
“I may be dying, Gimli,” His master replied calmly, “And to you this may seem sad, but it’s not. It is just the start of a new adventure.”
Gimli sat sadly next to the bed, watching the Elven Prince of Mirkwood wheezing. “Gimli, I am going to be alright,” His friend reassured him. Gimli choked back tears. “No. NO! You can’t die. I would have nothing, NOTHING!” “I may be dying, Gimli,” His master replied calmly, “And to you this may seem sad, but it’s not. It is just the start of a new adventure.”
It is easier to read, since your whole story is a big clump. When I first looked at it I was not going to bother trying to read it as the clump was bothing. But it did interest me.
Legolas would not die of old age. elves live forever, they can only be killed by blade (or trampled by a horse, like what happened in this story). I dont see why Gimli called Legolas 'master', but it does not bother me.
I liked how Gimli was with killing legolas. though legolas does not die, it's still a good story.
i hope you dont think I am flaming you, I hate it when folks flame me. I once had a whole chat board flaming me... That hurts! keep up the good work & keep on writing (try to add spaces and paragraphs, too!)
hope you liked this long review, i know i love getting long reviews!