|Reviews for Coffee Girl|
| reckless-rage chapter 6 . 10/16/2010
"I bet I could wipe the arena floor with her brother."
I don't watch YGO, I only picked up what little I know from my brother who adores it, and I was pointed to this fanfiction by a friend because I mentioned I wanted to open my own book cafe. XD! This is amazing work and I'm enjoying it so far despite not knowing who the characters are. :333
| maliceborg chapter 14 . 10/10/2010
I honestly enjoyed this simplicity and lack of drama was refreshing concedering over the top stuff people but in alot of fics. There are actully these two fics that come to mind have the romance bulit at a beliveable (or a mostly belivable)pace would be Harry Potter and the Host club by Stalker of Storys(but I most people would stear away because the story devlops rather slowly and it's hu like 200,000 pages...most people can't read as fast as I can (-_-;)and Snow on the Sahara by Jaswinder (both great fics,there worth the read). Well anyway back to the point. I adored this fic I'll be sure to read this again
| pls delete chapter 14 . 10/10/2010
I noticed the number of reviews and had to find out what the "buzz" was all about :-). So glad I did. I really enjoyed reading this story. Good job.
| Black Licorice Addict chapter 14 . 9/26/2010
Wow. This is by far the best Serenity/Kaiba story I've read. Ever. You developed the characters and their relationship in a plausible yet highly entertaining way. I admire this style of writing and I wish you all the best in the future :)
| Serendipithy chapter 14 . 8/30/2010
At first, I thought this was another one of your CCS fanfictions with Li and Sakura. It took me until the author's note at the end of the first chapter for me to realize that no, this was a Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfic.
Normally I wouldn't dare associate myself with reading Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfictions because I have never envisioned a pairing in it (except maybe Yugi the Pharaoh version x Anzu Mazaki). However, after reading just the first chapter, I couldn't help but become enraptured by your writing style. (:
Unlike defray, I actually LOVED your use of first person in the first chapter. It set you apart from a lot of other stories and it was interesting to see how you portrayed everything from Kaiba's POV.
I do, though, agree with defray that parts of it in between between seasons and weeks were monotonous, but I loved how you changed Kaiba's feelings per month (ie, the changes in his motivation to create and imagine).
You've successfully made me fall in love with this pairing. :D
| Septembercrunch chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
Ibe never even seen Yu-gi-oh and I think this stories completely enthralling! Keep up the great work! :)
| defray chapter 14 . 8/13/2010
Wow. I was recommended this story by a friend. I hate Kaiba/Shizuka because of (or so I thought) all their personality differences and the horrible ways that fanfics butcher their characters and situation. So I was a little reluctant to read it. But with the massive amount of reviews, I figured I would give it a shot anyway despite my dislike for the pairing.
It turns out that I thoroughly enjoyed this story! I LOVED how you put in so many tidbits about economy and business, that really made it believable on Kaiba's end. And I loved Shizuka's slice of life side of it (like another reviewer said), mostly because I think I myself could identify with it, especially the struggle-for-independence and trying-to-find a job plot points. Overall the story was very well written; I only had a few gripes with it. At the beginning I felt that something was strange about the story, especially dealing with Kaiba, but I couldn't place what it was until I was a chapter in. I realized that I felt uncomfortable with the first-person-POV, because in most of the stories I've read with Kaiba, they've been third-person-POV, which gives the reader a bit more distance from the character. So I think I was just not used to being so close to Kaiba's character with the first-person-POV. But eventually I started to enjoy it as the story progressed.
As for the time span of the plot, sometimes I felt a little bored simply because the story was just about Kaiba and Shizuka's interactions in the coffee shop. After every scene, it would simply jump to "The next Sunday..." or a lengthy description about seasonal/weather changes to make the reader believe that time was passing. While I think you did a good job with integrating the seasonal changes and how that affected Kaiba's business and thus his mood, I think by the end it was getting a little monotonous. But all-in-all, the transitions weren't that annoying, it was just something I noticed. I also think I would have liked it if you wrote one or two scenes where Shizuka was at her home, or with Jou, or more of Kaiba talking to Mokuba or working, perhaps. But while I do wish this, I realize that it was not the intent of your story: the point was to just make it about Kaiba and Shizuka in the coffee shop and only to allude to the other things going on in their lives. So again, the lack of story outside of the coffee shop I thought you could have changed, but overall, when I do think about it, that lack of story kind of worked with what you were trying to go for. And like you said, it eliminated a lot of clichés.
And lastly, I just have to go right out and say it: I think your characters were out of character. I just can't see Kaiba doing a lot of the things he did or having some of the thoughts he did in this fic. But, we all interpret characters differently, so I can't judge really, but in my opinion I thought he was a bit OOC. You had the business/asshole Kaiba down pat, but the deeper emotional side of him, I think you made that one a little too sappy and too easily giving in to "love". I don't believe Kaiba would ever say "I love you" to anyone, not even Mokuba; simply because of a messload of reasons, one of which being that he was never really shown love (esp parental, which is what children use as an example for love with significant others) in his whole life. So how would he know how to show it to others? As for Shizuka, I think she was mostly in-character, but there were a LOT of creative liberties taken for her; but the thing is, I understand why you had to take them for Shizuka; because basically, in Yuugiou she doesn't have much of a character, because she's so minor. So thus you can kind of write your own personality for her. For example, you made her an avid reader, which wasn't spoken about at all in the show; but it WORKED in your fic. So Shizuka I didn't have as much of a problem with. The whole struggle-for-independence was great for developing her character, especially because it clicked with her character in the show. However, Kaiba on the other hand, since he is such a major character, less creative liberties should be taken with him, simply because there is SO much material to work with already. If you are interested, I'd be happy to point you in the direction of some top-notch Kaiba character-analysises. They're a good read. ;) But apparently, from checking your profile, you haven't written anything else in the Yuugiou category, so I don't know of how much use those character analysises would be to you. And you admitted to only knowing the character's personalities "so-so", thus I can understand how that would result in a bit of OOC-ness.
Your story gave me great entertainment, I read it all in one sitting, lol. I admit that I couldn't stop to take a break because I really wanted to know the outcome of the story. Many writers absolutely butcher the pairing of Kaiba/Shizuka, but I have to say, your story is probably one of the best Silentshipping fics out there. Now, like I said in the beginning, I hate Silentshipping, but I was able to tolerate it throughout the length of your story, and possibly gain a new appreciation for it... because yes, there is always the possibility of "what if", and this story is a perfect example of it. Also, very creative chapter names, btw. I liked how you just used one word as the chap name, a word which showed the progression of their relationship as well as setting the theme for the chapter. That was cool.
Seeing as you wrote this back in '05, and haven't done anything Yuugiou since, I don't assume you will be writing anything else in the near future (correct me if I'm wrong, you said you had something brewing, but it's been a while, so yeah). But, if you ever decide on some whim to write more in this fandom, I would be very pleased to read any fics you would churn out (especially featuring Kaiba). But awesome story, despite a few flaws, I took great enjoyment out of it and I am glad I took that leap of faith and decided to read it, instead of brushing it off just like every other Silentshipping fic. You are a great writer, and while I probably won't read any more of your fics because I'm not knowledgeable in those fandoms, I encourage you to keep writing! Good luck with all your future endeavors. :)
I'm terribly sorry that this review is so long and ranty, but I felt the NEED to leave a substantial review. Thanks so much for an entertaining fic. :D
| Dewgong chapter 14 . 7/25/2010
I think I hate you (just kidding) but I would have good reasons to. This is the best Silentshipping fic (ask anyone else, I'm not the only one who thinks so I can assure you) and possibly the best romantic fic in the Yugioh category, not to mention one of the best fics of all time. And I think the worst part of it, it was your first Yugioh story. I have written so many others (under other pen names, and I have never recieved this kind of response). To make matters worse, you almost deleted this. Where would fanfiction be without this? And finally, you have written a Yugioh fic since then. I think a part of me just died. You are a brilliant writer, and among all of the junk that keeps getting posted in the Yugioh category (it's not all bad, just most of it), your story was a rare gem. I can count the number of really good stories in this category on two hands. Where are you? And where this fic you talked about at the end? surely you have a job by now...
| bloo c00kie monster chapter 14 . 7/9/2010
THANK YOU SO MUCH for this delightful read! the s/s pairing has always fascinated me because there are so many "what if"s and there's so much room for the imagination to do its thing-but that also makes it that much harder to write a good s/s-and you've done it beautifully and convincingly. :) oh, and i absolutely loved the closing scene.
i also loved how you gave so much depth to both kaiba and serenity. his blurbs on capitalism and the economy were not only interesting, but added to his believability as a serious guy who knows his sh**. and serenity's back story had a nicely realistic touch-who doesn't, at some point in his/her life, falter a little in the struggle for independence?
all in all, what a lovely slice of life! :)
| merissala chapter 14 . 6/30/2010
pleease please! please! please! :D please.
you must write more.
i love this story
its just awesome.
it tops all other SS stories i have read... or actually i remember
(i havent read SS stories since yugioh ended, but now im rewatching...and my friend showed this to me. THANK GOD FRIEND)
please write more.
i hope i will be seeing your stories soon!
| sleepy dreamer 9 chapter 14 . 6/10/2010
Love this story! Its so different than any other story! I love how the characters are portrayed perfectly! Some stories dont get Kaiba right and others make Serenity an evil seducteress person (which is soooo false). I've had trouble finding a place where Kaiba and Serenity could meet and have interaction without seeming to cliche or cheesy but this is so perfect and believeable. Please write a sequel! I am basically addicted!
| CherryArrow chapter 5 . 2/2/2010
LOLS. the IB program XD
yes it's tough sadly
| IsmAsm chapter 14 . 1/17/2010
This is easily the best SxS fic out there. Thanks so much for posting, and keep up the good work. You have a real talent.
| MustLoveTakuya chapter 14 . 1/8/2010
I fell in love with this story somewhere in the first few chapters. Your intelligence is obvious, and was communicated through your characterization of Seto Kaiba. I found this fanfic to be refreshing, but not overwhelming (a perfect combo, might I add). The extra scene at the end was hilarious, by the way ("Blah, blah, blah heart of the cards!" So dead-on.), and I noticed something we have in common as writers, though I'm nowhere near as good as you. We both like to plug-in our personal beliefs and random thoughts into our stories, don't we? Well, maybe I'm wrong. But I guess a lot of people do that, anyway. I wish you well in your future writings! That is, if you're still on this site. This fic is kinda five years old, or so. And as a post sentence, I'd like to inform you that I totally thought I hadd discovered SxS at first too, haha!
| nolongerhere1234531 chapter 14 . 7/5/2009
This is the first Yu-Gi-Oh story that I've read. I only watched bits and pieces of the series, so I didn't actually consider delving into the fanfiction. However, any fiction written by the author of Wild Flower... XDD
Actually read most of your stories a few years ago, but didn't review. So sorry. This was truly beautifully written. Pacing is good, and the setting - a bookshop is just absolutely charming. I adore my coffee black as much as anyone else, so this one was perfect.
I like how you showed Serenity's stress over her family issues, it was very convincing, and true to life.
Saw you last updated in December last year - do keep writing! *hearts*