|Reviews for Firsts|
| Ebony10 chapter 20 . 9/24/2016
This was amazing! I can't believe you made it feel so true to the manga. And I was so happy to get some time with the two of them with her not on his hand.
| Guest chapter 20 . 10/25/2015
Hi! I posted the previous review. I have to say, your writing has gotten much better over time. I think that you are doing just fine, as your words are no longer getting in the way of the, frankly, adorably fluffy and squee-tacular scenes you are portraying. There was real tension towards the end, when Midori had to decide - I feel you dragged the decision out a bit, as it was obvious what she would choose, but that was stylistic, and certainly harkened back to the series' origin. The only major complaints I have is that a) I feel you were too forgiving towards Kiriyama, and b) I'd like to see more of the interaction between Kouta and Iwasaki. You did misuse words a bit in the beginning (for instance, yielded in the section quoted below should have been wielded), but that had stopped by the fourth or fifth chapter, so it's not a big deal.
I have to say, if the only faults that can be found with your work are that your villain's villainy was so villainous that he shouldn't get off that easily (when he still has to do all the work he's enabled himself to do), and that the B-plot was adorable and I wanna see more of it, you've done a really good job writing this! Feel proud!
| Guest chapter 2 . 10/25/2015
I like your characterization, and how cute the relationship is, and all the saccharine bits between Seiji and Midori. You've done a good job of transporting over their adorable interactions, while referencing the series and the variations between Midori the sock-puppet and Midori the real girl. I also appreciate the cardboard villain nature of the Shin Sakura High students - the scenery chewing in the first chapter made me think they'd have a much more dastardly plan than just to spy on Seiji. It's a fun story, and I look forward to more - and oh look, there's more! I'm only on chapter two! That said, this story does, thus far, have a problem with excessively purple prose, coupled with rudimentary syntax in some places.
Take this example:
He tried to remember what he'd done the few times his friends had been taken. Seiji had let himself be beaten up on the occasion of Miyahara, but he wasn't sure if that would work this time - Shin Sakura was full of very sick, twisted bastards, and he knew the knife holding the note down had only been one of the many knives most of them yielded. He could dodge them easily, but with Midori in their hands...
The middle sentence is long, windy, and takes far too long to get to its point, ultimately dulling the impact of the KNIVES with which Seiji is expecting them to THREATEN MIDORI. Something more direct, like - "and he knew they had more knives than just the one pinning down the note. He could dodge them easily, but Midori..." - would emphasize his concern and also deliver the point more directly.
It might help to look over what you've written and try to eliminate any clause you can without losing meaning.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/26/2015
I just had to add, that you are a fantastic writer, ( Sorry I'm not really that into manga or anime, but Midori Days is absolutely one of my favorite pieces of literature! ) you seriously should write your own stuff! I found this just casually searching on the web with the intent of doing other things, and I straight got caught up reading all 20 chapters for two hours. Even the way you wrote is really proffessional, and like I said earlier, PLEASE INOUYE-SAMA, ILUUSTARTE THIS!
| Guest chapter 20 . 5/26/2015
Dude... you don't want to know the things I would do to get Kazuya Inoue to illusistrate this!
| Guest chapter 3 . 5/20/2014
This story is absoloutely wonderful, you write Seiji and Midori so beautifully in charater. Brava
| iron.exe chapter 20 . 2/20/2014
This was an amazing story. I'm so glad I stumbled across it. My only complaint is that it ended.
| teacupz chapter 20 . 8/18/2013
sorry for the extremely late review despite me having finished the story probably a year ago. and such amazing and lovely updates you did back then. it sure was nice to see such dedication you put into the story. might indirectly inspire people to update their multi-chapter stories that haven't been continued for a while, too, so thanks for that. :)
as for the updates, I really like how you're revealing the main problem for all the conflicts going on is Midori's mom's disapproval of Seiji. it sure is a believable reason and was indeed executed nicely.
also... if you don't mind some input -feel free to correct me if I'm wrong! :D-, about the capitalization in the dialogues, as far as I know, when you end the dialogue with a comma, the following description is automatically turned into a lower case, unless it's a name like 'Seiji' or 'Midori'.
for example: ["Of course," He said quietly.] might be more proper if written as ["Of course," he said quietly.] instead.
another example: ["I really never meant for things to turn out like this," Kiriyama went on, "And I don't just mean...]. when a dialogue is ended with a comma and was followed with a description that also ended up with a comma, there's some sort of connection that makes the first letter of the second dialogue is more proper if written in lower case, so in this case, it becomes ["I really never meant for things to turn out like this," Kiriyama went on, "and I don't just mean...]. that's from what I know, though. hope you can find more references and thanks for putting it into consideration! :)
some typos that I found -I only note some major ones, if that's okay; all are in chapter 19-: 'self-centred', 'he' in [Midori felt her chest rise and fall rapidly as /he/ breaths grew shallow.], a redundancy in [If I had any doubts, you have quelled them with them with the words], and another redundancy in [If we are are honest with ourselves, I mean.].
that's all about the input, I guess. thanks again for reading all through and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. heh.
anyway, back to the story, like I said before, I really like how you close the story. the whole dialogues between Midori and Seiji are written very nicely to the point I could imagine them in front of me; and how she was gone after the talk was, indeed, something. huff.
it will take long if I go into details of what I like about the updates, so just gonna say that I love the whole conclusion: from Kouta and Beniko, Kiriyama's change, and the main problem between Seiji and Midori's mom and Midori with herself. :')
I really like the whole dialogues Seiji and Midori's mom have; how realistic it is and everything. also the world Midori's in while she's making her decision. I really like the whole dialogue between her and herself. everyone is IC and the plot is pretty good, so... yeah, you sure did some justice for making such a lovely canon fic for the fandom. thank you for writing this, once again. :'3
also about the writing itself, I still like how neatly you write and how everything seems to be well-described. the usage of words are in great variation. so many new words that I learn by reading this story, so thanks for the indirect lesson there. heh. but again, the characterization and emotion are definitely the strong points of this story. so IC and canon and great and just... wow.
and the ending... -melt- love their casual talk and the last line. Midori and Seiji are just that great of a partner, after all. huff.
overall, it's such a great experience reading your story. thanks for making such a nice one and thanks for sticking through it until the very end. it's such a fun read and I'm glad to ever stumble upon 'Firsts' in the first place. thank you again and good luck on your future projects! :'D
| Phantoms Lil Waffle chapter 20 . 2/20/2013
This was the most wafflely awesomeness Fic I've read in a while.
I just found my Needle Midori Fic in a haystack cx
This is going to be on my top favorites of all time 8D
This is one of my favorite Manga/Anime of all time and you just made me love it more if that is even possible XD
| Gamera68 chapter 20 . 2/8/2013
7 years to knock this out?
Wow, what a ride it's been, ne?
Very good story. Loved the Epilogue.
| Gamera68 chapter 19 . 2/8/2013
After reading 19 chapters in a row without a break,
I must say that this is by far the best "Midori Days" fan-fics I've head the pleasure of reading and actually enjoying.
And this is the best chapter (so far)
| FernandelDeLaFrance chapter 20 . 10/8/2012
A truly enjoyable read. Probably the best story in the Midori no Hibi fandom to be found anywhere. The characters are all... well, in-character; the fight scenes are awesome, and the emotional drama is milked for all its worth - not that's a bad thing, mind. In fact, it makes the whole thing even better. And thanks for giving us (slightly disappointed) readers a sense of closure to the original work. Well done.
Favourited. I loved reading this, and I hope you're doing well.
P.S.: In all honesty, though, am I EVER glad that I caught this story once it was already completed. Waiting seven years for it to finish would have probably killed me. Thank goodness for my dumb luck. ;)
| Soharu87 chapter 20 . 9/12/2012
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOooooo
| Berunkasteru chapter 20 . 8/14/2012
DAW HAPPY ENDING! It was very well done, to the point where I wished this was a short sequel to the actual manga. Thanks for a fantastic story! Keep up the good work!
| Sweet Dark Laughter chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
I just read the first chapter and I simply love it! So glad you did this. Not enough Midori no Hibi fanfics. Thank you so much :)