|Reviews for Oh dear|
| Ryou VeRua chapter 12 . 8/24/2005
There's some serious suspense now. Thinking of the riot coming is driving me crazy! Please send the next chapter out soon, this one was awesome!
| EllipsisObsessed chapter 12 . 8/24/2005
awsome chapter please update soon D D
| Caorann fridh Bronach chapter 12 . 8/24/2005
*sniff* Thanks, little sister. And you better believe I'll keep reviewing and giving you a hard time until this puppy is finished!
*ahem* Now, twelve is my favorite number, so I'm greatly anticipating things...
Keeping the cat thing a mystery yet, eh? Unfair!
Oh, boy, the guards are able to legally fight back? Good to know...I like the flow through here. I'm glad Bakura is asking these questions and getting the answers he needs. It keeps the story moving well to the climatic moment that must be coming!
Good, Toturi is thinking for himself now. The plot is being uncovered. The constant action and tension is excellent!
Ah, great! The Spirit gets to be of help again. For saying you had no idea what to do to fulfill the description, you've surely made it accurate. And I love the irony involved with Bakura needing to trust the Spirit-it's the best part of your entire story to me.
Oh, I found a way Malik could be in jail. You can get ninety days just for falsely pulling a fire alarm. Heard that at the boring meeting last night.
The conflict here is one of my favorites. Act or not act? Which is worse? Which will kill you sooner? I like Toturi's argument here: "'Sometimes even sittin’ out will get you into trouble…like now. Backin’ away an’ followin’ orders would only make it easier for ‘em to kill you.'"
Amazing how fast the read goes when I don't know the number of pages. Just reading it on the screen made it go by a lot quicker! Sorry for all my hard-times this summer...
Oh, boy the lights going out part played like a movie for me, and I was almost holding my breath and getting very excited!
Description of the Spirit's hands was great, as well as how he never touched Bakura like that, only took over. Quite a change they're both going through.
Heh, nice way to learn how to see in the dark. Something I didn't really think of.
What, the lights were always on? I'm getting mystified and very intrigued.
Oh, the Spirit is tricky. Very tricky. What he said about the mind having power, that sounds like something I'd say, so I loved it!
Spirit's line about not even trying to think reminded me of the Albino...
Lovely chapter with moving things along and preparing Bakura! I hope you get to work on the next one!
| Ryou VeRua chapter 11 . 8/22/2005
I don't have much to say...except you are doing an amazing job with this story. Definitely one of the best ones I've read here. And nothing to suggest...except to update soon. Real soon. AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
| EllipsisObsessed chapter 11 . 8/19/2005
oh suspense D well great chapter and please update soon )
| Caorann fridh Bronach chapter 11 . 8/18/2005
Changes happening in the jail…not good! I like how you describe the changes coming over the jail and how it makes life even more miserable. Sounds like tyranny and dictatorship…good conditions for a rebellion. And that’s what the guards are going to lie about…interesting.
Not breakfast! Don’t ruin breakfast! Honestly, you call *me* horrible?
Here’s a great line, made me amused: “You missed a spot, host…”
Wow, that guard seeing things on the window had me worried! What a relief that there was nothing to see! Then again, what the man wanted is no better…
Ooh, the Spirit himself is in a position to do nothing! I like the rising tension. I’m just waiting for the wave to break. But you said you’d wait to post twelve! The description of the Spirit’s on slaves and dogs was a great one! Nice thinking.
What shadowy figure, hmm?
Yes! This is just perfect! Genji planning to do exactly what the guards want, and Bakura, the one they dislike (they get along much better, though), left to try to convince them to do otherwise! Ooh, and Genji has a good argument on why he’d try to escape. I love seeing characters, squirm, don’t you? I think you do…
Another, yes! Malik is in jail, too. Excellent. Need my good ol’ buddy back here. And with no jewelry…I must say, he probably looks better that way. I was a little surprised it took Bakura as long as it did to ask why Malik was there. I thought it would just burst out of him automatically.
Aw, don’t you want a friend like this?: “There’s no point in suffering those annoying teachers at school if your best friend isn’t there to suffer with you.”
Only a few days for killing his parents? Oh, okay…that makes sense. And I can imagine Malik lying to get a better reputation. He’s still hedging, too. Hmm…curiosity is attacking me.
Yay that Ronin’s back! I bet the guards let it in thinking it’d just end up dying. How sad. But I’m glad he’s here! I bet the Spirit isn’t at all happy.
Toturi was the shadowy figure, wasn’t he?
Very interesting conflict with how Ronin prevents the Ring’s power. And just when it seems Bakura needs to know whatever the Spirit does. Wow, you’ve got this conflict thing down, don’t you?
Aha, I was right about something! Nice older-brother Toturi had to beat up the captain. That deserves this: *smirk*
Ronin has no manners…nice line.
Don’t end there, you fiend! Loved it, if you couldn’t tell.
| EllipsisObsessed chapter 10 . 8/10/2005
awsome chapters please update soon D poor ryou...
| Heather chapter 10 . 8/7/2005
Oh. . .my. . . gosh. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG!
There really IS going to be a riot? Oh my gosh! What kind of . . .*ranting on and on*. . .would do that? Rant put aside, I LOVE the relationship you wrote between Bakura Ryou and Toturi. The fact that Toturi accepts Bakura for who he is, considering the Spirit, is enough to say that Toturi's a great friend and that he'll definitely be playing an important part later on in the story. Can't wait to read it!
| Heather chapter 9 . 8/7/2005
I don't know if you've noticed, but each time you leave a review for a story it has this wonderful thing at the bottom that says "It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved." I don't have to. What's there to be improved? It's already perfect. Besides, I'm not that good at correcting a story unless it has to do with grammar, and there's no need for that. Okay, enough talking. On to chapter ten!
| Heather chapter 8 . 8/7/2005
O. The suspense thickens. The Spirit is plotting something (what's new?), Toturi is suspicious, and Malik visits Kagehisa to give Bakura a letter. What next?
| CfB chapter 9 . 8/3/2005
Hehehe…a letter to Toturi. How nice! It might have been nice to see some of the direct statements of the friends, however, even if you described the messages nicely.
Oh, can’t wait to meet the new roommate…
Heh…I wish the Spirit had been able to creep around the jail. That would’ve come in handy later.
You need some more grammar lessons, sister.
I like how Dark Bakura always needs to be looking down at someone. Makes sense with his character.
Why is he so interested in Toturi? Hmm, makes me curious.
Here’s one of my favorite lines: “Memories are the only thing I have of him; painful or not, they’re more precious than anythin’ I have now.”
Why does Toturi cooperate with Dark Bakura? He’s letting me down. Well, okay, I guess the Spirit is really creepy, but still.
Clumsy Bakura is cute.
| CfB chapter 10 . 8/3/2005
Found a way to make them meet Kagehisa despite what you wanted, huh?
What a kind jail Bakura was sent to. All these friends, not too many fights, just chores to do in the day…and yet, the plot to exterminate them all.
KANEGAN? Great, I’ll screw his name up with Kagehisa now.
Boy, oh, boy…just drop it, Bakura. Kanegan isn’t going to believe you didn’t destroy the apartment. But having him as the new roommate will definitely add plenty of tension, as it already did.
I like the Spirit’s remark on how Bakura is able to “lie.”
Dang, I hope Kagehisa doesn’t stay away most of the time. He’s one of my favorite characters.
About time he’s getting his lawyer. Let’s get this plot moving, girl! Let’s have the jail attacked! I want to know what happens with *that.*
Get some of the ideas of the counter-file from Jessica’s landlord? Heh, sounds similar, doesn’t it? But I suppose plenty of people have problems like that.
Here’s another favorite part: “Kill?” the Spirit sounded amused. “H-ha ha ha…there’d be no point in killing him, Ryou…if I’d wanted to kill off all the idiots in the world, I’d start with him, but otherwise, there’s no point in offing him.”
Good, more foreshadowing! I want the jail attack!
You kept with the customary ending…but it’s a good one.
| CfB chapter 8 . 7/27/2005
Hmm…how was Toturi looking at him? Nicely? Fatherly? With loathing? Must go with “buraku.” Little brother?
Words are underlined in red for a reason…
I like the cracks described as spider’s webs.
“ALL RIGHT!” Not EVER “alright.” Okay, had to let that out. And I just looked it up, so don’t question me about it.
Nice breakfast description. Something edible, yay!
Hmm, plot thickens with Genji’s request. I like how the Spirit commented on what the others were saying and that Bakura could have heard had he been listening instead of simply hearing.
Nice job using the Spirit to emphasize the fact that Bakura’s changing. Like you mentioned, jail would do that to a person, and drastic changes can bring about great change, even if you didn’t think so.
Again, I like how the Spirit is helping Bakura in a way to help himself. All this switching is going to get them all in trouble.
Hmm…(used that enough, have I?) I’m getting intrigued. Why’d Malik Visit Kagehisa?
What is Genji planning?...It’s not nice to make me so curious.
| Heather chapter 7 . 7/24/2005
I LOVE reading the conversations between Bakura and the Spirit of the Millenium Ring. They're hilarious with Dark Bakura's mocking attitude and they're just really fun to read. I bet you have lots of fun writing them. So far, I've really liked this story and honestly can't wait until you post the next chapter. I hope to be reading more of your YGO fanfics also. I'm sure a brilliant mind such as yours is full of all kinds of ideas for tons of fanfics. Keep up the great work!
| Heather chapter 6 . 7/24/2005
This is the extremely short version. Awesome!