Reviews for Together Forever
FMA4EVER chapter 4 . 8/19/2006
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! or i'll destroy thee...

i like this story's very cute and btw...UPDATE!

in Christ,

angeldreamer21 chapter 3 . 11/8/2005
You want an honest opinion? The chapters need to be longer. You would do well to add more detail, so as not to have the bare bones of a story. Check your grammar. You have a lot of run-ons and that makes it very confusing. Pay some attention to your characterization, in all of the characters, including the ones from your own mind. (Normal children, demon-types or not, don't take to strangers that quickly, unless they are "special," and most times, not even then.) Your story progresses way too quickly. Slow it down a bit. Chapters that are decent length, and have proper grammar, and all that stuff, have a considerable bit more than just dialoque, which is mostly what you have. If you can start every line with quotation marks, then you need to go back and add details to aid your readers imagination as to the actions acompanying the words. Again, slow it down, and show more of the actions. You have the capability of writing a good story. Elaborate more, and this will be an excellent story.
MizuSenjo chapter 3 . 11/7/2005
I like this a lot. I can't wait to hear about the weddings.
Inuyashaluvr12 chapter 1 . 12/12/2004
How cute! Your story is awesome,the detail your story has is amazing. I can't wait for the next.