Reviews for Dancer Girl
puiwaihin chapter 10 . 8/6/2011
Well, interesting idea for this story. However, I think it was a bit too heavy on the dialog and not enough description of the actions. There were also a few things you didn't explain well, such as how wizards apparated on moving spaceships and such things. Getting into the mechanics of it would make for a better story.
puiwaihin chapter 4 . 8/6/2011
Noticed your author's note where you mentioned you thought it was long winded. You were right, and it was good of you to notice.

What you were doing was an exposition dump through dialog. That's a quick way to give a lot of detail, but it's very heavy handed. Rather than doing that, you could have used a series of flashbacks. It would have made the opening chapters a little longer, but would have avoided the exposition dump.

The concept is interesting, though.

I like the idea that Earth has always been in the Star Wars Universe and only that there was a conspiracy by the world governments that kept the majority of the population oblivious to things. That in itself is worthy of being the focus of a story.
puiwaihin chapter 2 . 8/6/2011
At this point I'm going to say the fic runs pretty smoothly. There hasn't been much of a challenge or much build up for anything, which I think would make the story richer and more appealing, but on the other hand you've avoided any unnecessary delays or entanglements.

The one thing I would definitely suggest would be a first chapter where a group of new Jedi encounter and are defeated by a group of wizards, perhaps have it as a recording played back for Han and Leia. That would have set the stage for Luke and Han's trip to Babba's Palace. You could even have had some of the wizards make some sort of remark which Leia would have picked up on as a clue to send them to the Hutt stronghold in the first place.
Rune Tobor chapter 10 . 10/18/2010
Not bad, a bit choppy, it reads like a series of scenes that are in the same story. The best stories are like a rope and flow and bend with the plot. This one is like a chain. Also Dumbledore is not a very good general or tactician or strategist. The Scroll and the Blood witch should have been at very different places. Hiding them together makes it easy for the evil guys. Jedi are stupid too, Luke should have killed the sith quick. Leaving evil alive is just foolish. Han at least can kill those who need to be killed. My kind of guy.
Rogue7 chapter 10 . 5/10/2009
Thoroughly enjoyed the story so far... onto the next bit ;)
alBBie chapter 10 . 3/18/2006
I really liked this story. I haven't read a lot of Star Wars fanfiction, but I felt like the ideas were very creative and didn't feel unnatural. You did a good job of mixing the two worlds. I did feel that some of the dialogue was a little OOC but it was still a great story. And it was very short - but I know there are two sequels. When in Harry Potter time was this supposed to take place? I noticed you wrote it before HBP came out so it could have any time. I'm assuming around book 5, though, because Lorelei said it was around her seventh year and Harry was two years younger than she was. I could be wrong, though. Wow this is a really long review... Good story!

Alie
Taeniaea chapter 10 . 11/15/2005
I Love The Story!
elmthesmartypants chapter 10 . 9/27/2005
I liked it.I've read some Harry Potter/Star Wars crossoevers before but this one is REALLY good. I'm going to go read the sequel.
Sesshomaru-is-my-master chapter 10 . 6/10/2005
love it update soon
EmiliosLoofah chapter 1 . 5/4/2005
I really liked this...I see that this was on ! I LOVE that site, and I am new on this one!

Story is a little different than on Fiction Alley, but that is ok. I wonder if you are going to post more chapters of this story on Fiction Alley? Please e-mail me and let me know!

Love you writing style!
TriGemini chapter 10 . 4/6/2005
Hey, this story is positively great to read.

Really enjoyed reading it.
lisha chapter 2 . 3/5/2005
I LOVE the idea of a Harry Potter/Star Wars fanfiction story. I've been waiting for something like this and I just found it!

Keep up the good work!

Lisha
FrostedMidnight chapter 10 . 1/24/2005
yay for updates , boo for endings , yay for sequels ! as you can see my computer has fianaly decieded that exists again . for how long ,only it nos
Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands chapter 10 . 1/24/2005
I'm very much awaiting this sequel! Great job!
Slinky-and-the-BloodyWands chapter 9 . 1/24/2005
Fantastic chapter! I loved it. Abdul is such a nut case! Great job.
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