|Reviews for A Summer of Choices|
| Foxy-Floof chapter 4 . 3/10
That's just way too glib for my tastes. One talk with Madam Pomfrey, and he's all hunky dory about the whole thing? What is she? The Freaking Oracle?
Come on, pull my other leg. And this story was doing so well up to this point.
| jon08 chapter 6 . 3/7
Really enjoying this. Just 1 minor point, diamonds are measured in carats, not carrots, these are an orange vegetable. LOL
| billbrink chapter 20 . 3/3
I loved this even more the third time I read it.
| Svenion chapter 5 . 1/18
I'd like to gut Remus with a silver knife for going to Dumbledore before talking to Harry
| MSgt SilverDollar chapter 19 . 1/3
OK I haven't re-read this great story in a couple of years as I'm not a Harry/Ginny fan. You have done Ginny quite well and made a relationship between Harry and her believable which is darn hard to do. Every so often I go to my favorite authors profile and re-read their stories in the order they were posted (except if they have sequels, those I read sequentially.)
I'd tell you to keep up the good work but you're doing that with Dan Granger already.
| Art chapter 13 . 12/29/2014
I know this story is several years old but I really like it. I did find a few typos I wanted to pass along in case you ever decide to refresh or update the story.
In the sentence "Dumbledore told them what they he had seen" I suspect there's either a typo or the "they" isn't needed.
In the sentence "When we get back, can we talk about that's on your mind?", "that's" should probablyl be "what's".
In the sentence "Susan and Hermione were there sleeping bags in hand." I would suspect you meant to include a "with their" after the "there".
In the phrase "few hours until the drifted off in front of the warm fire" I suspect you meant "they drifted" instead of "the drifted".
In the sentence " He asked Remus he'd had a chance to look " I suspect you're missing an "if".
In the sentence "only two of the plated had to be " I assume you meant two of the "plates".
| Art chapter 12 . 12/29/2014
Hi again! Still really like the story.
In the sentence "Harry carefully put the three sets of manacles away in his trunk, and thanks Kingsley and Tonks for their help and trust." I believe you meant to say "thanked Kingsley".
In the sentence "I'll be careful Harry." I know that your will too." I believe you intended "you will".
| Art chapter 11 . 12/29/2014
I hate to point out typos but also greatly enjoy your stories. In the sentence "He showed the teens how to set up a parameter" I believe you meant "perimeter". A few paragraphs later you wrote "being able to create an abject at" while I believe you intended to write "being able to create an object at".
| gwillem chapter 8 . 12/20/2014
I am loving the story so far. It's a wonderful construct and I only have a couple of critiques.
You are providing wonderful detail about individual items; room descriptions, meals, clothing choices, etc. However, these aren't really necessary for the gist of the story. Rather than detailing exactly what Harry bought as clothes, you could have easily summed it up with a sentence such as:
'At Harrods, with the help of a beautiful saleswoman, Harry purchased an entire wardrobe. At her suggestion, he selected everything from underwear to dressclothes, the final being a rather snappy grey suit that complemented his eyes. Loaded down with his purchases, he virtually staggered from the men's department.'
This above sentence allows for the readers imagination to 'fill in the blanks'. The only time I would suggest going into detail about an item of clothing, is if it pertained to a particular situation. Like Harry getting ready for a date he was nervous about.
You are also using very short sentences, as if you are writing a set of instructions detailing events that are transpiring. Here's an example:
"After leaving the Ministry Dumbledore went back to Grimmauld place. Dobby let them in. He told the little elf..." (taken from this page)
The mistakes here are 1) Dumbledore is singular, yet you said 'Dobby let them in', which indicates more than one person; 2) Broken sentence structure. This merely means you are separating each occurance...travelling from the ministry to Grimmauld, to his entrance into Grimmauld. It can very easily be written as follows:
"After leaving the Ministry Dumbledore apparated to Grimmauld, where he was let in by Dobby."
Also, you appear to mention things repeatedly, such as 'little elf'. It's not necessary unless the size difference is part of what is presently happening. Example:
'Harry wasn't tall by anyone's standards, yet as he looked down at the diminuitive elf staring up at him, he was once again struck by how appearances were deceptive. It had taken him half a day to clean one of the smallest rooms in the house, yet Winky had managed another room in less than a quarter of that time, and had done a better job!'
This above sentence would be to introduce something about the power of elf magic, in comparison to their small size.
Keep on writing though. Love the story idea.
| william488 chapter 20 . 12/1/2014
Nice! Loved it.
| WillowBabble chapter 16 . 10/30/2014
Oh my Goddess! You are DESTROYING me with this story! I have to confess, I didn't LIKE Ronald Weasley in the original books or movies. I felt like he was as big of a bigot as Malfoy, just on the other side of the spectrum. This though, Ron, Luna (Goddess how I loved that character!) and poor peculiar Odd Lovegood, a triple funeral, welcomed into the Weasleys plot...I am sorry for rambling, but as poor Moaning Myrtle "I WAS DISTRAUGHT!" Thank you for making me have me feels...
| N Flamel chapter 20 . 8/25/2014
O-C, it's always nice to read a story about Harry being supported by Dumbledore and other adults, rather than being hindrances or outright enemies. Because you made the decision to have supportive adults and professors, SoC shows the type of Harry Potter I hoped we would have seen in canon. The best aspect is that he and the three witches worked long and hard to gain their knowledge and skills, as opposed to having gained them through outside sources, like some type of inheritance, rings or some such.
SoC was a real page turner, again showing your skills as a story teller. Frankly, I have a few chores left undone due to my not wanting to stop reading until I had finished your fic. Of course, I know The Four Apprentices would follow this story, and rest assured, that's the next one on my list to read again. Thanks for all your hard work, your ability to make secondary characters real and appealing, and for giving us alternatives to canon that are fun and very interesting to read. - N Flamel
| N Flamel chapter 1 . 8/24/2014
This is one of the best ways I've seen to get rid of the Dursleys. All except the ending paragraphs were nice and easy, then whap! Amelia tells Harry that his relatives have been murdered. I'll hold off speculation on whether it was actually muggles or DEs who killed the Dursleys, though you'd think Amelia would know. Who would have guessed there was road rage in England, too? I thought that was limited to the US. - N Flamel
| daithi4377 chapter 1 . 6/1/2014
It wasn't muggle more likely Tom. Interesting that it just happened to be just as he was about to find out about Being Blacks heir.
| DragonTamer01 chapter 15 . 11/28/2013
Why? Why did you kill Luna?