|Reviews for Point Zero|
| Osidiano chapter 5 . 7/1/2005
I don't plan on reading all the way through your story, but it has always annoyed me when people go half-way and then don't say why they stopped. So I'm going to tell you why I won't finish your story. I just think that it's the nice, polite thing to do.
The first thing that I noticed was your habbit to be redundant. I think that this could become much less noticeable if you stopped using the word 'said'. It's a very bland, very dead word. Don't use it. Try keeping a list of synonyms nearby when you write. It'll definately help.
Your scene changes are nonexistent. This is a bad thing. Please find or create a method to switch to a new scene that fits with your style. Right now it's just irritating.
And now, for the two most important things. The breaking down of the fourth wall, and your story's voice. You are writing in 3rd person omniscient, dear; don't talk to your reader like you're telling them this story as you paint your nails at a slumber party. Unless you are writing down the thoughts of one of the characters, don't use contractions in narrative. And don't use 'neh'. Ever. You should also try to be more confident in your writing. When you write, you become God in that world. You know everything about your story and the way you want these characters to act. So, in narrative, try not to sound confused or like you're being vague because you don't know what's going on, or what's going to happen.
Those are the reasons I can't finish reading your story. Good luck on your next chapter.
| Ketsueki-Ken chapter 6 . 6/24/2005
yay you updated! i'm so happy! heero was shot and kidnapped nothing could make my day happier...crap, just realized i had an exam at 12...
| artgirl150 chapter 6 . 6/22/2005
Heero has a little sister! The Gundam Piolets quit the preventers! Now I really want to find out what happens next. Please keep up the great work and update soon.
| The Amazing Tsu-chan chapter 5 . 5/2/2005
Hey! You must continue writing! I've read alot of your other works and think they are absolutely fabulous! Please, oh please, continue writing!
| Ketsueki-Ken chapter 5 . 3/29/2005
me lovelovelovelovelove! update soon!
| artgirl150 chapter 5 . 3/26/2005
What kind of idiot would give Heero a window room in a hospital i. That's like putting an sign over it saying "Attention Heero Yuy this window is for exits only!" Please keep up the great work and update soon. Sorry I haven't been writing but currently my email is down and I can't access it.
| Mousery chapter 5 . 3/26/2005
o.O O.. Please continues this, an interesting story indeed. :P
| SesshomaruWife12 chapter 5 . 3/26/2005
Kay so, these people are just trying to kill Relena and start another war! Why go through all of that to Zechs, Heero and Quatre?
Gomen, I as kinda goin off there. Anyway, cool story. Keep updatin.
| ame85 chapter 5 . 3/26/2005
I like this story so far, the plot is really interesting, and I can't wait to find out what happens next.. Just a few suggestions though. You might want to do something to separate different scenes. It gets kinda confusing when you suddenly switch from the hospital to the bad guys or whatever. You should either leave a few lines between the two scenes to sepparate them, or put in dashes or something...
“We can’t let the public now about this, we can’t let anyone know about this.” Duo stood from his chair in the darker part of the room and looked at them seriously in the eye, “If anyone finds out what’s going on it can mean serious trouble for any rebellious groups laying low.”
“Right.” They all nodded their heads.
“Sir,” The large business chair moved slightly to show the occupant was listening to what the lower soldier had to say.
“…Yes?” The voice was cold, sending shivers down the cadet’s spine and at the same time earning the leader a sense of respect.
| EquineAngel chapter 5 . 3/25/2005
hmm...you seem to love that teddy bear too much! update soon or esle i will rip his head off! *evil Heero glare*
| EquineAngel chapter 4 . 3/25/2005
mhum...Quatre and Trowa...Heero and Duo...and Wu Fei can eat himself for all I care...:-) sorry about that! nice story! we don't get a whole ton about the 0 system. *smirk*
| OldAccy chapter 4 . 2/15/2005
update? update? *poutpout* (currently on sugar high, please don't mind)... Yeah, I love this story! The Zero system still making problems... perfect plot!
| Ketsueki-Ken chapter 4 . 1/23/2005
yay! me like! update soon!
| ZaKai chapter 4 . 1/21/2005
Another good chapter. _
| artgirl150 chapter 4 . 1/21/2005
Excellent another awsome chapter please update I also wanted to say thank you on behalf of what I can asume many readers for taking time from your busy schedule and updating your awsome stories for us. I know it's hard because I tried to write a story before but I was so busy I never got past chapter one so it was discontinued. Thank-you very much for writing your stories.