|Reviews for Two Brothers|
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/21
Don't give up on writing but seriously take some time to work on it because I was only able to push through a third of your story and I was nearly punching myself in the face. Good luck with further endeavors. You can only get better with practice.
| Miko1st chapter 1 . 1/5
Sad, but sweet.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/29/2012
All i have to say to you is two words: Total. INCEPTION
| HAIDURR chapter 1 . 8/30/2011
Awh this is so cute!
| shygirl04 chapter 1 . 8/12/2011
That would have been awesome if there wasn't so much pain in the end. No offense.
| elaine30432 chapter 1 . 7/14/2011
gosh this story made me tear up so bad i had to stop reading for a bit at the end. when you made everybody die and the fred first it was so sad i wasa remebering the real book.
| Casey2y5 chapter 1 . 3/11/2011
The story really does a wonderful job of capturing relationships between teenagers, and how people have the tendency to use each other. That being said, the ending if very confusing. I'm not entirely sure what happenned.
| Cherrytoast chapter 1 . 9/5/2009
OHMYGOD GOOSEBUMPS! The end has me in shivers! I think it's slightly rushed, but it's so good. (I'd like to have seen more of the end, is what I mean!)
Incest... You do it well!
| xsofie chapter 1 . 7/8/2009
i love this story . the endin was sad. . . but happy
| PotterFicReviewer chapter 1 . 5/19/2009
I do not like to be overly critical, as I understand that writers put a lot of their heart and soul into their works. That being said, one must also realize that by "publishing" their writing in a public forum, there will be those that have overwhelming praise as well as cynicism. While your version of the twincest relationships and dynamics thereof is interesting, the story as a whole has too many elements. It feels disjointed from paragraph to paragraph, which leaves the reader trying to play catch up as to which characters are speaking. It also distracts from the main focus of the story; the angst each twin feels, as well as their joy in the consummation of their twincestual relationship. There is too much focus on the "he said/she said", and where everyone is going and what they're doing; in turn, there is not enough focus on the feelings each person experiences. The "Draco/Hermione" and "Harry/Snape" ships you hinted at were a mere attempt to satisfy those readers who are fans of those pairings, and were not helpful to the story at all. The ending felt like a desperate attempt to finish the tale as all other ideas had been spent. On a personal note, as was said in many other reviews, the typos and grammatical errors are very distracting; a beta can greatly help catch these. I understand that as you write and subsequently re-read the story, it is easy to miss many things. A fresh set of eyes (or even three or four) are more apt to find things you may have overlooked. The language that was used (i.e. - Several times throughout the story, your characters said "Anyways")is not typically used by people over the age of 20, which leads me to believe you are a young writer. While my critique may seem harsh, I honestly do believe you have some talent that can be honed and can put out something of even better quality than this fic. If you like, I suggest that you visit , a website devoted strictly to Harry Potter fanfiction. There are several different areas on the site, supporting every ship imaginable. Read some of the stories on the website to gain inspiration, as well as to study the writing styles of the other authors. Please do not give up on your craft; you can only become better from both praise and criticism.
| fanficslashlover chapter 1 . 11/27/2008
ok...not that i dont think there hot, but still... brothers? NEWSFLASH 101 I-L-L-E-G-A-L sorry went off on a rave...i dont think ...the ending was to sudden...i dont know what possessed me to send a mean commen...sorry but i think the whole thing was awsome...exept the ending
| Before-I-Fall chapter 1 . 10/5/2008
Aw, I liked it. It was a nice and long one shot on a apiring I really like! I just read a good one with a horribly sad ending, and this brightened my mood a bit!
Thanks for the fic! There isn't a enough of this pairing!
| Alli Copen chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
Holy crap the ending is so sad!
But absolutely beautiful at the same time!
The emotion radiating from this story is breath taking, I could defiantly feel it.
Great writing! :)
| ghostmadlittlemiss chapter 1 . 6/3/2008
Ignore those idiots, clearly the best fic they've ever read is 'my immortal'. lol I thought it was good. The ending did take me by surprise the first time but once I read it again, I realised it was George's dream from the start coming true. Nice twist, I like it.
| Keri chapter 1 . 4/5/2008
This is one of the worst stories I have ever read in my entire life. It was horribly written and an honest waste of time.