Reviews for 10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy
Guest chapter 40 . 9/15
Thank you! I can't wait to read your other fics!
firefox101 chapter 20 . 9/10
firefox101 chapter 2 . 9/10
good, but not as good as the last chapter.
firefox101 chapter 1 . 9/10
awsome chapter! I like it so much!
Guest chapter 1 . 8/31
I love this story sooo much ! every time I read this I feel like reading again. And seriously your fic describes Draco the best way
Guest chapter 29 . 8/18
OMG... I've read HBP... NO! How could JK do this to us D/Hr shippers? Ahhhhhhhhh! Die, Ron, Die! I can't believe she put Ron and Hermione together. (Well, it was pretty obvious that it was coming, but still!)

I shall always be a Draco/Hermione shipper! T.T -Strangled sob- Even though it'll never be canon...

On a happier note... WHOA! I reached 1000 reviews! So happy! -Dances around crazily- Thank you so much!

About the Ginny seeing thestrals thing - my bad, my bad, I forgot she couldn't see them. Just pretend she pointed in the general direction of the Hospital Wing when Harry asked where they were, and that she only knew the thestral was there because of Harry's mumblings.

I'm also sorry about underlining so much, I'll try to emphasize less words from now on. U.U But I'm not going to change to italics, because I'm a perfectionist, hehe. :P

& let's go...


10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 29



"I'll see you later. We'll talk tomorrow night. Look out for an owl from me."

That was what she said. I wonder what she wants to talk about. Maybe she wants to beat the crap out of me for beating the crap out of Weasley. That would make sense, but she'd be pretty dumb to think that she, a girl, could beat me up.

And Hermione is definitely not dumb.

I pace around the Slytherin common room. Unfortunately, it's just after dinner on a Sunday night, so the room is pretty crowded. Which means that I am forced to pace in a very small area of space while around me, idiots are giggling and playing games like Exploding Snap or Gobstones, primitive forms of entertainment that I have never found very amusing.

Except when a card explodes in someone's surprised face, or they get squirted with stinky goo. Now that's what I call entertainment.

"Draco-poo, want to play a game of Strip Poker?" Pansy coos. The room falls silent at her question and all stare at me hopefully. What the fuck? She only asked me to play a game. It's not like she asked anything obscene.

Oh wait. Did Pansy say 'Strip Poker'? Are my ears deceiving me? "Wh-what did you say, Pansy?" I ask, just to make sure. Not that I mind playing such a game, as long as Parkinson's not there to ogle at me the whole time.

"S-t-r-i-p Poker, darling," she says, spelling it out like I am some kind of retarded person. My hands itch to smack her head until her neck has the flexibility of an owl's, but restrain myself by deep breathing. In... out... in... out... Phew, that's better. Yes, think calm... think meadows of flowers... and crystal clear lakes... with piranhas on the lake bed, snapping their jaws.

Ahhhh. Very relaxing, thinking of killer fish.

I think for a moment, deciding whether to keep pacing or play an innocent game of Poker. "Sure, why not?"

At my words, the whole room starts cheering and crowd around the centre of the room, where Pansy leads me to a table inhabited by Blaise (oh God), Zack (a cute-looking brunette boy who recently started hanging out with Blaise and co.) and a few others I don't quite know the names of. One is a tall boy with cropped, dirty blond hair; the other two consist of a pair of giggling girls that, I find, is the source of the loud giggles I had heard earlier.

If they keep that up, I might just resort to Spellotaping their lips together.

"Hey there, Draco," Blaise says, his eyes sweeping from my ice-washed jeans to my hooded red and white jumper. I am suddenly glad that I didn't decide to wear a t-shirt or anything less revealing than what I have on now. Blaise had always said he wanted to be a fashion designer when he left school, but when he looked you up and down you could never be sure if he was just having a look at your outfit or if he was checking you out.

Fuck, that brings a shiver to my spine. Quickly I sit down on the thick carpet next to Pansy and the tall boy. What's his name again? I wonder as Blaise explains the basic rules.

"Before we start, I'd like to get a few things sorted. First, the teams." Blaise motions with his hands to Zack, Pansy and one of the girls. "Zack, Pansy and Laura will be in my team. Draco, your team'll be Kyle," he pointed to the boy sitting next to me, who nodded in acknowledgment. Oh, that's right. Kyle. Isn't he in the Quidditch team or something? I'm sure I've seen him there when I give out pep talks. "Natalie and... whoops. We've got seven people." He turns to the crowd. "Anyone up for a game of Strip Poker?"

A few hands raise eagerly, and at last a goth with short, spiky black hair and pale face sits down next to Kyle. "Your name is...?" Pansy asks, raising an eyebrow. The boy isn't ugly, but his nosering and several earrings on each ear gives him a foreboding air.

OK, well I'm guilty of having pierced ears too, but not that many.

"Nathan," he answers casually. Natalie and Laura start giggling again, much to my annoyance.

Blaise starts speaking again. "Right, now that we have equal numbered teams, I'll just go through the rules.

"First of all, and most importantly, you need the willingness to bare it all." Blaise and I exchange smirks across the table. "I think that, because we're in the presence of younger people, we'll stop the stripping at underwear. You're allowed no more than six items of strippable clothing. Socks, gloves, etc. count as two."

"Damn," I hear Zack mutter. Glancing at him, I see that he is wearing enough clothes to survive in Antarctica. I stifle a laugh as he is forced to take all his extra jackets and sweaters off. Most of the others take some clothing off too, since it's approaching Winter and the weather is getting cold.

"First we split the 9s, 10s, Jacks, Queens, Kings and Aces from the deck of cards. Then we lay two cards face up in the middle of the table. One team asks a question, which they must know the answer to. The other team gets 10 seconds to say the answer. If the answer is correct, they get to pick a card and the other card goes to the other team. The group that asked the question must also take off one item of clothing. If the answer is wrong, the team that asked the question gets to choose the card and the answering group will be the ones stripping.

"When both teams have 11 cards in their hands, the team with the most clothing on wins." Blaise looks at me.

I smile at the cue. "Well then," I drawl. "Let the game begin."

Blaise's team wanted to ask a question first, so we let them. "Who likes Hermione Granger?" he asks.

Oh fuck. Could he know? I search his face for signs of smugness but find none. Phew.

"Four... three..." Kyle mutters next to me.

"Ron Weasley," I say loudly. Beside me, Natalie cheers while Kyle looks dumbstruck. Obviously he doesn't know who any of those people are, strangely enough. Oh well.

Zack groans as I pick a card - an Ace - and slides the other one towards them. "Come on, take it off," Nathan cajoles evilly. Zack glares at him and reluctantly takes off a sock. Laura and Blaise do the same, while Pansy takes off her woollen jumper to reveal a pink tank top. I roll my eyes. Typical Pansy.

"Our turn," I say. "Alright. In my first year here, Harry Potter went through a series of ordeals in order to get to Voldemort, each set by different teachers. What was Snape's?" Professor Snape had told me a few years back, when I had asked him. I doubt anyone could answer that, apart from the trio themselves.

A few seconds passed. Suddenly, Blaise speaks up. "A logic puzzle, involving bottles of potions."

Dammit! I forgot that Blaise was there also when Snape had told me. I grumble a bit and take off a sock. The rest of my team follow suit, except for Nathan, who is barefoot. He is forced to take off his black jacket. Zack laughs at him, and he does the finger back.

The game progresses for a while longer, until both of our teams have 9 cards in our hand. Their team, mostly due to Pansy's fast mouth (and usually wrong answer) suffered the most, having had to take off 5 pieces of clothing. They are all pratically in their underwear. Zack looks very embarassed, while Pansy doesn't seem to mind a bit.

However, my team isn't too well off either. Us three guys are all bare-chested due to the fact that none of us wanted to give up pants just to keep our tops on. Natalie's face is flushed bright red, and I don't blame her. I mean, she's surrounded by three guys, one of which is the hottest in the whole school (I'm not bragging, just relaying what other people say of me), and the other two fairly decent too. The girls in the crowd are all swooning and are egging us on.

At that moment, a snowy white owl swoops through an open window and lands on my head. "Don't you dare poop," I hiss as I pick up the letter it had dropped in front of me. I recognize the owl as Potter's - Hedwig, I think it's called. It hoots indignantly and jumps off my head to land on the table, and pecks at the cards. Unfolding the letter, I absently shoo it away and start reading.


Meet me outside Snape's classroom. We're going to the Astronomy Tower to have a little friendly chat. I'm sure whatever girl that is clinging onto your arm at this minute won't mind too much if you go for a little walk. Without her, mind you.


Astronomy Tower, huh? Isn't that the unofficial official spot for all Hogwarts couples to snog their throats out? I smirk to myself and refold the letter. The owl, seeing that I had read the contents of its delivery, hoots one more time and escapes from the clutches of Laura, who was hugging it tightly. A few white feathers fall from its tail as the bird zooms up through the window and away.

"Sorry guys," I say. "I've got to go. Maybe I'll play again next time." The crowd gives a big, disappointed 'awwwww' and watch me as I put on the shirt I was wearing and stuff my jumper into my bag.

I head out of the common room and walk slowly towards the Potion classroom for us sixth years. What could Hermione want? It's unlikely she called me out to go to the Tower to do
catgirlrules2 chapter 40 . 8/13
that last plan was so cute (this is like the 20th time I've read this is still LOVE LOVE LOVE IT)
catgirlrules2 chapter 40 . 8/13
that is a BOSS Zefron poster chapter 2 . 8/3
fangirls. fangirls everywhere
Guest chapter 40 . 7/30
Amazing story
Guest chapter 2 . 7/10
so excited!
SiriuslyPsychic chapter 27 . 6/13
Oh gods please do
Please make that fanart
SiriuslyPsychic chapter 17 . 6/13
Blaise has always been a boy. I'm not sure why anyone would think otherwise...
SiriuslyPsychic chapter 10 . 6/13
Pansy Parkinson groped Ronald Bilius Weasley.
I think that I am scarred for life.

All cringes aside, though, this really is a great story. I don't ship Dramione, but I find the fanfiction for it fascinating. And this has certainly lived up to that standard...
I especially like what you've done with Ron—first he says Draco looks bloody fantastic (my words, not his) after asserting his heterosexuality, then this—it's great!
SomehowSlytherin chapter 20 . 6/5
Great story!
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