|Reviews for A Bet, Some Brownies, and a Bath|
| Boggy chapter 1 . 9/13/2005
I'm personally not a fan of the Ryo/Nasuti (i.e. Ryo/Mia) pairing, but "whatever floats your boat."
Without paragraphs (or some semblance of structure), your fanfic is very difficult to read. Both dialogue and new topics should be broken into paragraphs for not only the reader's convenience, but your convenience as well. Proofreading/editing is MUCH easier without the author's thoughts all meshed into one.
Lastly, I'd do some tweaking to the guys' personalities. I realize this piece is for the "Ronin Warriors" universe as opposed to the "Yoroiden Samurai Troopers," but their characterization is off.
I hope you continue to work and improve your stories.
| K. A. Maples chapter 1 . 8/30/2005
Paragraphs are your friend. They make stories easier to read. You should consider separating out the dialog and putting everything into proper paragraphs.
| Mel chapter 1 . 4/24/2004
Hey!Don't be so hard on yourself! I thought it was really funny! I loved it when the guys walked in on Mia and Ryo... THat was hilarious! *hugs Rowen* Killer smile...tell me about it!
| Takatome Ichido chapter 1 . 1/1/2002
That was cute. Sage and Rowan were adorable! (Dumb cat! Cute Ryo!) Oh, if only I were Mia... The goodness... The goodness...
| Snow Myth chapter 1 . 7/5/2001
That was... HILLARIOUS! Sage is such a flirt, I'm gonna have to have a talk with that guy! (grabs car keys to look for Sage, my fiance.)
| Shuu girl chapter 1 . 6/13/2001
It was pretty funny. I like the part about White Blaze getting a bath.
| the Iron Duke the Desert Fox chapter 1 . 4/3/2001
DF:yay! a Mia & Ryo fic. ID:good story.
| Relena Maxwell chapter 1 . 3/26/2001
Kawaii! Keep up the good writing! I can't wait for your future fics! **
| Arctic Ice Aurora chapter 1 . 3/21/2001
interesting story... I wouldn't like to be ryo once mia finds out what the bet is...:)
| Silent Shadow chapter 1 . 3/17/2001
That was cute and funny -
| digistar88 chapter 1 . 2/12/2001
Ya,ya REALLY late 's only late cuz' I only got into Ronin Warriors,like 3 months ago.I forgot you wrote an RW ,I think it was funny!::pushes Trunks towards you::I hate to give him up,but you deserve him(I don't know if he counts,but he did use that time machine thing)!)
| littlesaiyangirl chapter 1 . 2/9/2001
*laughing uncontrollably* that was great!
| Lady Ezri chapter 1 . 2/8/2001
The best part is the end, but the whole story is right in line, as long as you forgive the OOC-ness of ALL the guys hitting on Mia. Personally though, I've been waiting to read when when all five of them are after her at once, but maybe making it more complex and competitive, someday? Into a series maybe?
| Artemis Tiegr chapter 1 . 1/25/2001
Hello past Artemis! Just thought i'd drop by in the past and send you some of the gifts asked for so long ago that NOONE bothered to send me! :cries in the corner: Okay! :somehow mangages to stuff Jeen Starwind, Jim Hawking, the Gundam Pilots, and Von (escaflowne) in a box and sends it away, which, of course, comes back about three seconds later) Why thank you! This story is totally cruddy so..I'm gonna leave! BYE!
| Staria chapter 1 . 1/25/2001
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... cute...I GET SAGE AND ROWEN! *runs off with the two ronins*