|Reviews for Battosai: Lost in his Revenge|
| purplegopher chapter 2 . 12/22/2004
again..a job well done my friend... i really have nothing 2 say..that is all... woohoo! ur other story quite good on superheroes..but that has nothing 2 do with fanfiction
i praise your interesting plot development..not that i noe anything bout this story so i insist u continue 2 write.. l8tz !
| Melissa chapter 2 . 12/22/2004
This is not really an overdone premise, and I hope you continue to enjoy it, so that I can, too! Sorry I didn't review the first post, but I couldn't tell much from so short a piece. I have more hope for this fic since you updated it so soon. You could use a bit more detail, but it's nice enough so far.
| wk chapter 2 . 12/22/2004
i like your plot outline summery. sounds interesting. hurry wiht the next chap.!
| gabyhyatt chapter 2 . 12/22/2004
| tokidokii chapter 2 . 12/22/2004
wow! a revenge seeking kenshin- that'z awesome idea- I hope he doesn't turn mushi mushi with these three- wait, if kenshin's trying to get rid of this government..isn't that like shishio? will he join forces with shishio? well, I know that this is still farther to go-but still...it'll be quite an interesting development :) hitoriki battousai all the way~! wooho! XD
| BefuddledPuddle chapter 2 . 12/21/2004
Okay me again.. don't worry no spelling stuff...
Um okay, my retarded opinion again: it was good, but for some odd reason I find it didn't "flow" as easily as the first chapter. So shoot me.
| Sakura Kamitsu chapter 1 . 12/21/2004
I dont think your story is corny, I even kinda like it.
| BefuddledPuddle chapter 1 . 12/21/2004
Okay Steve,I have succumbed to your wishes and alas, I am reviewing.
So, what is to be said about your story?.. Well let's see...
I have no idea whatsoever what Ken..um i forget what its called... is about, so I can't really comment on your plot or such.
Nevertheless, it was a good chapter and entertaining. It seemed written for a performance, maybe with your theatre background and all, but while reading it I couldn't stop thinking about how great it would be on stage, since you are very detailed and describe the scene, characters, and actions very clearly, or maybe it just means you're a good author, with good imagery skills, however you wish to take that comment.
You're gonna hate me for the next few lines, but there were some "awkward" parts of the story.. It was a very good chapter and all but here's some constructive critism on parts that you could maybe look over?
" a brave man…He wasn’t..." the H shouldn't be a capital, or you should make a new sentence
"Oushi was terrified to learn the answer he knew he would hear" -I understood what it meant but just the way it's worded seems a tad awkward..
"and the name had struck his mind immediately"- had struck? I thought it was present tense...
"attackers katana"- attacker's with an apostrophe
Oh, and when you go on to talk about the police, can you make some sort of division just to make it clearer that it's a change of scene?
Oh, and I don't know about anime fanfiction, but in other stories, don't they usually have a disclaimer? I know if it's on fanfiction then obviously it's not original and all, but you could be sued sans le disclaimer (highly unlikely I know, but nevertheless...)
I'm sorry if I sound terrible because I wrote about your grammar (and my comment's were probably all wrong because my grammar sucks and I should be the last person commenting about that). Besides, who the hell put's grammar suggestion's in a review? heh.
Overall, EXCELLENT CHAPPIE, well written, please update!
| emelia potter chapter 1 . 12/20/2004
well..for not knowing the plot line at all..(sry 2 fans of Rurouni Kenshin who just cant believe that i dont noe wut it is)..i thought it was awesome! i got a clear picture of what was goin on and yes..way 2 go! glad ur back writing Raikoh, not that ive read any of your other stuff..and yes... the authors note was AWESOME! haha..yup thats right i was in it :) but anyhoo! l8er! ive added u 2 my updatey thing lol..now i can read ur other chaps and review them 2 ! bye bye! ill talk 2 ya on msn in like..2 secs! aha cya purdster