Really great story. Honestly, I liked 95 percent of it. The ending was kinda bad though. There seemed to be no character development and it was pretty sappy. I know it doesn't matter now because the story is finished but... I just thought I'd share my opinion. Luna, Hermione, and Neville all seemed like they were the same person. I loved the action but I also prize dialog as a good source of character development. Keep up the good work!

Every writer who wants to write Harry Potter fan fiction should read this story so they know what not to do. Do not make Harry all powerful especially with little effort. Do not introduce new characters when there is a plethora of unused or underused characters. If you are going through the effort of making him smarter, powerful, more slytherine like make the situations in more logical. For example, don't let him get caught due to not "putting his hood back on" just to create more drama. The sad thing about this story is that the author wrote very well, it was many of the plot points that induced many eye rolling moments.

Beautiful! A story worthy of the universe JKR created.

Who is Kayla's Father?.?

So good can you put me in as a popstar who meets Harry and (oh and he's dating Ginny ) Ginny and tries to break them up

Good chap.

Thank you for sharing your story. Many of us have ideas for stories but only dedicated and hardworking talents like you have put your ideas in story form and shared them with us. I thank you again for your efforts.

It is good thing that you did not loose too much time on training part. I wish more authors taked you as an example...

nice

Completely enjoyed this story. Pot line is good and true to Harry/Ginny characters. I love the fact I was able to read it start to finish!

I'm sorry... I tried to read this story, but it is truly drowning in cliche. I also don't like how everything harry does, he does to be dramatic.

Harry doesn't like being the center of attention, yet this harry seems to go out of his way to get attention.

Also, I don't like that harry is keeping secrets with Ginny by default. He has no reason to give Ginny the mirror, no to tell her to keep it a secret from everybody else. He also shouldn't be including her by default on things like the board of the orphanage. Why would he pick her? when would a Hogwarts student that he doesn't even know very well have the right to decide whether or not his money is being spent well?

Its okay to control Harry's actions, as the writer. What isn't right is to give him author's intuition, or to make him act without reason.

This could be a great story, but everything is wayyy too grandiose to the point where it doesn't even make sense anymore. This could EASILY be made into a harry potter parody.

Though an interesting and well written story but I can't say I really like it for various reasons I would like to discuss below.

The story is full of glaring plot holes and I strongly resent the way you have mutiliated some of my favorite characters especially the golden trio. Also the story has cliches which are too obvious to be mentioned.

First I don't like the whole manipulative Dumbledore plot. Even though I don't like him for keeping too many secrets from Harry but I simply can't imagine him treating Harry only as a tool or weapon, the Dumbledore in canon really loved and cared for Harry. Besides the whole concept is rather cliched as other authors have already used it. Moreover I was surprised and dissapointed by the fact that Dumbledore was not punished in some way for his crimes against Harry. For heavens sake he ordered Harry to be poisioned and he is Headmaster, and to do that to a student for no valid reason!

Hermione- I can't believe Hermione is so blind and dumb in this story after all she is supposed to be the smartest witch of her generation. I can't imagine her poisioning Harry and how can she still keep believing in Dumbledore after been presented with all the evidences that he is simply manipulating Harry. Moreover why she is still dating Ron even after its proved that he is nothing but an arrogant jealous git, surely she can do better than him. The Ron in this story is not worthy of her, the Ron of canon is a different matter. Sorry for my rant but Hermione is my favorite character and this story doesn't do justice to her character to say the least.

Neville- Among all the characters here only Neville has a valid enough excuse to betray Harry though this doesn't exonerate from him from what he did. But Neville betraying Harry is way too out of character for him, Neville of canon will never betray Harry for whatever reason.

Luna- Of the all the characters in this story Luna has the lamest excuse to betray Harry which ,makes me wonder if this girl really has any brains or not. Her excuse that Dumbledore was first to accept her is ridiculous, because Dumbledore as the Headmaster is supposed to treat all students equally, her first true friends were Harry and Ginny so how can she betray them, but then like Neville Luna too is way out of character here.

Ron- Though not my favorite character I din't like what you did to Ron here, he is portrayed here as a second version of Malfoy. And whole idea of him spying on Harry since the age of eleven is ridiculous since no eleven year old can keep a secret let alone spy.

Fred and George- The whole idea that they can betray Harry like that is absurd since it was Harry who enabled them to fulfill their joke shop dream in the first place and its also totally contradictory to their characters.

Finally I can't understand how Harry can so easily forgive the three of them, betrayal by friends is one of worst crimes anyone can do another human, the wound caused by such actions can never be healed, this also makes me wonder as to why it them so long to realize their mistake in the first place.

Sorry for my long rant but I was really angered by the way my favorite characters were treated in this story.

Good story but the thing is Snape isnt really bad and your making him seem evil like voldy which he isnt. In 7th film harry learns to admire snape and feel sorry for all he has suffered and gave his son his name in honor of all that he did for the order (good side)

seems like a build up for an awesome story. although Harry's training looks to have progressed a bit too quickly even with he's gadgets.

That was a very powerful scene when Harry talks to the public. I liked it. I also like the Independence from the Order. Very nice. But the story could use a beta reader. There are many grammar and structure errors.