|Reviews for Silent Night|
| Shella chapter 1 . 2/9/2005
...It's not bad. Definitely sweet. As cliche as it is, your heart's in the right place, & I could tell, so that gets you about half-way. The rest is kind of fiddly cos there're some technical hitches, like grammar, tense, paragraphing ... things like that. Maybe a beta-reader or a couple more read-throughs would help? There're just some places where the language stumbles.
(Quick note: contracting Christmas to X'mas through the fic. Why do that? It makes it seem clunky & rushed, & as far as I'm aware nobody actually says "X'mas".)
I know you had an OOC warning, & to be honest I couldn't believe Yu's characterisation, but I think it would be better, in future, to make the situation fit to Yu's character rather than the reverse.
However! I liked the bit in French, although an English translation (maybe in the end notes) would've been helpful since you're writing it from Jean's POV & *he* knows what he's saying even if Yu doesn't. & I especially, *especially* liked how they act awkward around each other & don't really click, adds a bit of realism to it.
Overall, it could use work, but I like it.
| Love-me-not-Hate-me chapter 1 . 12/28/2004
This is so swet! I loved it. But hoe do you know French? Anyway, I loved it and I want you to continue. I'm thinking about making a Spriggan fanfic, and it will be yaoi.