|Reviews for The Benefactor|
| Abe Lincoln Lover chapter 2 . 5/27/2013
Are you not going to finish this? Curse the events that have taken you away from writing this wonderful text!
Keep up on whatever you're doing, though. I would not wish anyone to ruin their lives by spending every waking moment typing on the computer.
| Anawey chapter 2 . 11/16/2009
The part with Colette made me cry. Poor Erik. He really liked Colette, and her dad and brothers are jerks. But Erik can't go to Hell! He deserves a break, yes?
I love it so far. Update soon, please!
| HughloverX chapter 2 . 4/29/2007
Aww. Cute. Keep going. Yay for Erik being a good guy...gruff but good!
| Kainaku Hotaru chapter 2 . 6/26/2006
This is a wonderfully, well-written piece story. I like how you give the readers the facts and don't use too many elaborate adjectives. It's a definite and very very welcome change from normal phics. I can't wait until the next installment.
| Talentless Muse chapter 2 . 7/28/2005
Dear Lord, Meredia...This is too much for my work exhausted mind to properly process at the moment. It was very interesting, but I shall have to return another time to give a proper review.
Once again I am reminded that I must type up the next chapter of my story. I have made a commitment to those who read it when I first began posting. The only thing I hate more than a badly written story is a well-written but abandoned one.
| Riene chapter 1 . 7/24/2005
Ah, poor Colette...
This is an interesting vignette into an earlier chapter of Erik's life, rather heavily Kay inspired, I think. Well-done "scenery" accompanies the story, along with your usual adroit handling of the characters and plot.
Congratulations on another nicely written piece!
| Lettered chapter 1 . 1/17/2005
This is lovely. I like to see Erik interact with children; I like the waif bit (Colette reminded me of Cosette from Les Mis) and I love that they shared music.
However, I agree with the previous reviewer that this could be fleshed out more. My favorite moments were near the beginning, in which Erik treated Colette coldly because he didn't know how else to treat her-it was very endearing. And though I can see WHY he comes to care for her, we the readers don't get to see it happening.
Although it's an easy way to develop the relationship, you don't necessarily need to get into Erik's thoughts or feelings. Instead, you could just show more scenes in which Colette or Erik interact, and show how they grow and change through that.
I hope you are not disappointed by the fact that two people have reviewed this fic saying it could use more. The reason I'm reviewing (and I assume it's the reason the previews person did so as well) is that you seem to be a great writer who really knows what she wants to say. There are so few writers like that on this board that I'd love to encourage such a person in any way I can.
Furthermore, as the previous reviewer said: don't pay attention to how many reviews you get. It can be disheartening, but if you write for yourself (I know this sounds cliche) the readers will eventually come by themselves. Anyway, feel free to email me also. It's not as if I know any more than you, but two minds are always better than one, and if you want to talk re: writing, I'm always up for it ;o) Good luck.
| Stealiana chapter 1 . 1/3/2005
I have to say I really enjoyed this piece! During some of the more emotional moments, I kinda wanted them to be drawn out longer, with a little more of Erik's emotions displayed and a little more of Colette's thoughts. Occasionally what I was reading was almost too... factual. You told things instead of showing them (ie Told us what Erik was thinking rather than having him think it). Also, during dialogues - Erik is not a people person, so I figured there would be some conflicting emotions as he spoke, and also, I wanted to know more about how Colette felt about her strange "benefactor" at first. Basically, I thought there should be more of a struggle for them to communicate at first, and then get easier, and I wanted to see the evolution of their thoughts about one another.
Two major problems I had:
1) In the second section, when Erik asks how her mother is, you have two different people talking in one paragraph. When Colette answers his question, there should be a new paragraph. Simple error to fix. :)
2) In the fourth section, I REALLY wanted to see the exchange between Erik and Colette when he recieves her Christmas present. I think inserting a dialogue there would create a great, memorable moment that solidifies their friendship, and helps the reader visualize how close the two have come, despite the awkward circumstances. I also think that should be a seperate section from his departure.
THAT BEING SAID: I really did enjoy reading this story. You have a clear sense of plot, which is a skill that cannot be taught. You were also refreshingly free of typos and grammar mistakes (save that one I caught). I also think your tone and style gave the piece the right feel, for lack of a better way to describe it, and you did a beautiful job with the scene when Erik was leaving - especially by having the mother there.
I believe you should continue with the trilogy, regardless of what others say. Write for yourself, and because you want to write something, not based on whether people say you should or shouldn't. You needn't worry about how your story is recieved, because I think you did a commendable job, and I really enjoyed reading this.
If you have any questions about my review, feel free to e-mail me. I hope my suggestions were helpful, and good luck with future writing!
| sky75 chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
very well written! I hope you find time to continue.
| Rowin chapter 1 . 12/28/2004
This is wonderful. I hope write more.
| Rogo chapter 1 . 12/28/2004
This is wonderful! Please continue soon!