|Reviews for Pitch and Pink|
| Dixxy chapter 8 . 11/11/2017
HOwdy Wolf' ! [ don't feel like writing your full alias, eh eh... a tad complicated... ]
"Season four", your mentioned at the very end of the story... Jeez, i hadn't even noticed i was reading a story that ancient... 12 years after, ya know... ah ah, that feels a tad weird, but it's never enough for good stuff, i guess...
Honestly, i found this fiction very very entertaining, well plotted, with awesome dialog lines and such funny situations ! I loved it from start to finish ! So many cool / sweet moments : the shopping at the mall, Raven's and JInx's playful moment in the empath's room, Jinx annoying Raven while the latter tried to read, JInx's altercation wz the ice-cream man and Raven later bringing JInx her desired treat, and naturally the final's chapter date (with sky staring and pool as such sweet moments). All of this and much much more, i really dug ! Smashing job on this very nice story ! YOu've been doing great, and i wholeheartedly congratulate ya for the outstanding job !
I like how you split the plot into two halves, with a cold, distant Raven in the first part, and a gradually more accepting one in the second part. Jinx mentioned "the Ice Queen slowly melting", and it was exactly that. Good idea that this dyptich structure !
I also enjoyed Robin's role and his words, and liked STarfire's nicety in chapter 3. Such clever and sweet behaviours... kudos for that character work as well !
So if i loved your story so much, what critics do i have then, might you wonder (...or not... XD) ?
The most obvious one relates to the form of your story : typos and confusion in word use. Namely confusion between DEFIANTLY and DEFINITELY (very common mistake on FF...), between HOPPED and HOPED - both seen several times -, between CARING and CARRYING... I don't know if you re-read and spell-checked your text before publishing it, but there remained a certain amount of errors that i wish weren't there (kinda allergic to typos, ya know... ;P) and that was a bit of a pity, as it very slightly diminished my reading delight.
There were also things i regretted. For instance, Robin in my opinion accepted Jinx a bit quickly in the team. NO refusing her at first and JInx insisting, no him asking Raven to read the Bad Luck girl's thoughts to see if she was sincere when asking to become a Titan... that was a bit strange. I would have expected more suspicion, and possibly and initial refusal (JInx being accepted only after a second attempt).
Regarding JInx calling Robin 'Boss'... i found it funny, but i actually had difficulty getting comfortable with this feature. I wouldn't expect Jinx, HIgh Five's leader in the show, to call the enemy leader 'Boss'. It's like that she was a mere employee, and while that's what she became somehow, i still found it strange to hear the word in her mouth.
In the last chappy, JInx asks Raven "Why ?" and without leaving her the time to reply, she snogs her. That's a bit rushed from Jinx, i think. She asked a question so she was interested in its answer, right ? And would have want to hear it... before she lets herself go. AT least that sounds expected that way. I thought Raven would explain JInx WHY she loved her, and upon hearing it, Jinx would feel her heart overflow wz love and only jump on Raven to kiss her. So i'm not quite happy with the rushed behaviour of JInx on that one.
And that's all for the negative, which i deem constructive (i developped each point to explain myself). But honestly, your story was so damn entertaining that these few "black spots" are accepted without problem. I just hope your other stories contain less mistakes about spelling and word use. ;)
Thank you very very much for this wonderful Rae X JInx, which easily makes it into my fav's basket ! You've been crafted a lil' gem here, and i'm extremely grateful to ya for sharing yr talent wz us all !
And now, if you'll excuse me, i'll go start another story of yours. You can safely expect another review still this month. I'm excited to read more from you, given the quality of this fic' here !
Kudos galore !
Take care !
- Léo -
| Whyhow chapter 1 . 4/24/2017
I suspect that Robin (and possibly some of the others) don't trust her as much as she thinks they might, but views it as an opportunity to gather intelligence.
| FacadeSmiles chapter 4 . 10/27/2013
Raven can't really say anything about Jinxes non enthusiastic view of being a Titan; Raven became a Titan because she wanted to do the most good she could before her father came, sorta like gaining good karma to eliminate the bad- that of which would come unto her for allowing her father access to Earth.
| Guest chapter 8 . 12/19/2012
I would like to see it continue alittle more, it had seemed rather short to me. Also I read your little side note, at the end, and I prefer the Catch alittle more than chase.
| Zaan299 chapter 8 . 7/29/2012
Finally! I've been waiting in anticipation and finally it paid off. Ah, man... where do I begin. It was well written and the character drive was AMAZING! I really look forward to reading other Jinx and Rae fics from you... If any have been written or are currently being written! This is one of my favorite pairings; right next to BB and Terra.
| Zaan299 chapter 1 . 7/29/2012
Interesting! I've read plenty of fics, but I don't think I've seen one that was direct first person... Sure I've seen plenty of POVs, but those were not the characters possesive words... I like!
| Concolor44 chapter 8 . 3/31/2011
In novels the chase is often more interesting than the aftermath.
In real life - if you are careful about choosing your mate and happen to end up with a combination lover/best friend/mistress/confidant - the aftermath is the sweetest part. This is because you never TRULY get to know another human being. We aren't built for it. Two true telepaths might have a chance, but baseline people? Not a prayer. But that's okay. You are always finding out something new and different and interesting about the other person. Even after twenty-eight years. And if you work it right, you can be more in love with your middle-aged spouse than you ever could have conceived possible while dating.
This is what I wish for Jinx and Raven. I think they have a good shot at it.
This goes in Favorites.
| Concolor44 chapter 4 . 3/31/2011
That's the word that, I think, best describes Jinx. You had me grinning through most of this chapter.
| Concolor44 chapter 3 . 3/31/2011
Well, she's been TOLD often enough that she isn't "nice". It's hard to refute something that gets pounded into you over and over for a long time.
She really has chosen a hard row to hoe.
| Concolor44 chapter 2 . 3/31/2011
Makes me sorry for the poor, pink-haired ditz. She just doesn't have the background or mindset for REAL hero work. As she said herself, the baselines ought to beat feet out of the way. I think maybe having a superhero team on-hand for emergencies might have made the Jump City populace a little complacent.
But is she really a "bad girl"? Or is she just ... easily bored?
| Ledilettant chapter 8 . 1/10/2010
a very nice story, i really like it thanks
| 5x5shadow5x5 chapter 8 . 6/21/2008
aw so cute i love this pairing should of made the kissing part a bit longer though lol am retarded right?
| 0xnaomix0 chapter 8 . 6/17/2008
this was a really great story. i'm glad that someone mentioned it in a fanfic of theirs.
this was really sweet, and i liked how jinx kept trying to get with raven-even though raven kept pushing her away. i'm glad that this story had developments in it, instead of something TOTALLY unbelievable as to have raven and jinx falling in love at first sight.
so i commend you on your wonderful work. keep it up, it really is great! good luck in future writings, whether they be on ff. net or somewhere else!
| Spikesagitta chapter 8 . 12/27/2007
sweet! all is good! yes! thanks for the fic!
| Spikesagitta chapter 7 . 12/27/2007
yes! fluffy, cute and above all...she finally confess and got it! woot!