Reviews for In Need of my Other
Systemic Anomaly chapter 1 . 1/16/2005
I reviewed your other story, and hit ENTER twice by accident when I entered my e-mail. I didn't want to leave it on that note, or have you think I'm unnecessarily harsh. However, I see you do it in this story, too: excessive "(A/N...)" Please. If your writing is good enough, the story will stand on its own.

Reading author's notes every five seconds ruins the flow of the story for us: what it really feels like is trying to watch a movie you've been waiting for forever, and having someone elbow you in the ribs hard enough to hurt every few minutes and stage-whispering, "See that? Wasn't that cool?" "Guess what? In the story, he's really purple!" "Guess what?"

That being said. If you really care about your stories, you CAN do it! Anyone who spends as much time writing as you obviously do has the love and passion for it to work. Just tweak it a little, and remember: it's fiction, not an essay. We're not nitpicking your story: those details, we might not even have noticed. Let us fall into the story and be swept away by it.

"Systemic Anomaly" is my pen name, it might still come up on Search as "infamousblack". So I'm not hiding behind a fake name. *smiles a little.* Feel free to e-mail me, or what have you. And good luck.
MajesticBurn chapter 2 . 1/12/2005
*Sniker* DEFINITELY funny, keep going with this, i likeses.
Deceptigirl chapter 2 . 1/9/2005
Sweet story so far! I can't wait to see what'll happen next! And what is Screamer up to? Just being naturally rebellious? or is he thinking of doing something drastic later on? Dunno! 1/9/05 (Update) SooN!
Fk306 chapter 2 . 1/9/2005
this was a great chapter. and a bit confusing with a dash a humor and thanks for the review for my two stories but im not sure when im going to update them I have writers block and a bad case of it too . .; please update soon
Seiberwing chapter 1 . 1/2/2005
Just a small note: Putting autors's notes within the story itself is usually not a good idea.
Fk306 chapter 1 . 12/31/2004
well this is interesting...please update soon and i will continue reading k?
Chaos Knight chapter 1 . 12/29/2004
Interesting plot and story, and yes I'm an Armada fan myself. GO BLURR! *cough cough* sorry. _ update soon please!