Reviews for Siblings
JacobPhantom chapter 2 . 3/6
Please continue your story!
Yami no Tsuki chapter 1 . 4/9/2016
Shouldn't you welcome corrections, because they give you a chance to improve your skill? Withholding constructive advice isn't kindness, it's apathy. Kindness would be trying to help you.
Junior VB chapter 2 . 8/28/2015
Not bad.
Guest chapter 1 . 5/28/2014
This is sooo cute :3 please one chapter more
CrimsonPetal.lynn chapter 2 . 1/2/2014
I'm impressed at how well you portray Violet and Dash. This could be a great VioletxDash fic if you tried to continue it. That would be awesome, I mean your writing style is really good, even though English is your second language. Props to you! -
LadyShard chapter 2 . 8/10/2005
I'm not one for Incredibles fanfiction but for some reason I picked this one :) I have 3 siblings myself and I can relate. Even now admitting for my sibs can be tough. But then there are those few moments that sibs share that neither are willing to admit but make us remember why we care or watchout for them in the first place. Like hey I'm allowed to call my sister a dork but you can't cause it's wrong lol. Cute story
Dreaming Spires chapter 2 . 4/17/2005
Simply magnificant! It was so good, that once I started reading, I could not stop. I love the strange brother/sister relationship that they have. I really wish that my sister was more like Violet. I am adding this one to my all time favorites. Continue writing man! This one is continue-worthy. Just add another chappie pleez!
PartyOnTheMoon chapter 1 . 3/2/2005
This was the first Incredibles fanfic I read, and yours was really good! This is only for chapter 1 though, im about to read chappie two now!
Nny11 chapter 2 . 2/26/2005
I love this story. And if this is your evil sides work, give it some kudos and praise it.
meatball chapter 2 . 2/26/2005
soccergurl1990 chapter 2 . 2/26/2005
Glad to see Dash's POV! Keep up the great work!
Sibba chapter 1 . 1/18/2005
Das ist gut! Ich liebe Dash und Violet! Du bist eines gutes Dichte!

LOL my Deutch sucks. I'm Icelandic, I learned Deutch (ok German) in college.

Well, no more of that. I love the story, you obviously write of experience. I have four brothers and one sister (one brother is one-year-older, the other ones are younger) and I sometimes hate the racket and the teasing SO MUCH, but then I love them to bits and would do anything for them :) I liked it in the movie where Dash and Violet bicker constantly, but then do anything to protect each other :)

More stories from you, my dear.
Madam Octa chapter 1 . 1/16/2005
I liked the concept a lot, and the writing isn't bad either. Just a few confusing sentences, mainly related to tense and such. :) But you're on the right away, so don't worry and keep trying.

I hope to read more of your stories in English, since I don't understand a single word of German. :p
Zeorymer440 chapter 1 . 1/6/2005
Conceptually, this is a great story. I know the pain of being a younger brother, so I found the dynamic between Violet and the sleeping Dash to be fascinating. I'm more of a Dash fan myself, but I love to read about him interacting with his sister, even if he happens to be asleep at the time.

But there were some technical issues with the story that makes me wonder if English is a second language for you. Given some of the syntax and your word choice, it seems like you typed this up and then ran it through Babelfish (an Internet translation engine). I was constantly distracted by the shifting tense and some of the overly verbose sentences.

Again, I like the concept and I think that you did a fairly good job with it, but you need to work on some of the technical aspects of your writing.
Necrofuckup chapter 1 . 1/1/2005
English, bad? not quite, there were what? three, four things I noticed, but nothing that stole attention from how wonderful this story is.

I'm sure every brother and sister can appreciate what happens here between the two. If only more siblings were like violet and Dash in this fiction.
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