Surprise sexism, racism, and homophobia are all real and very common. This a place for creative expression and if this is the story he wants to wright then don’t be bitches and try to discourage him and insult his ability to wright, as it is completely beside the points your trying to make. Furthermore a simply suggestion instead of an attack because you didn’t like his story would be far more justified.

Ok so... This was interesting. We had a good start at least. Juvenile writing, but I did get invested in the mystery of it all. But the homophobic and misogynistic attitudes of the characters, the excessive Gore, the incredibly unrealistic dialogue and scenarios... It's just too much. Save yourself the annoyance if you're a reader. As for the writer, you've got some clear issues that need addressing.

"You'll be happy to know I'm not gay. I'm actually married with two kids. I just major in clothes design."

Nice bit of homophobia you snuck in there. Prick

damn that ending was just wow i love the blossoming romace between all the kiddos and love this story i am now going to go dig for a sequal amazing work on this!

swweet

i love depressing

scary first chapter. well done.

Damn, this is dark! Just how I like it!

The first chapter was one of the most intriguing fanfiction intros I've ever read. It's the kind of intro that really puts you into the mood and only best-sellers can actually pull off.

The second one unfortunately managed to show the glaring issues: Formatting. While I enjoyed the story and the content, I've lost count how many times I have to re-read just to find out what character is saying what. You don't put dialogues of BB and Raven at the same paragraph. It really breaks the flow. Despite that, I enjoyed it, even if the flow is troubling, I'm intrigued with the mystery. :)

The story is great so far, but some of the dialogue is cringey and unimaginable in a normal conversation. I understand the age of this story, though, and will let it slide. Great work and I'll continue onward!

You should seriously get this published, this needs to be a real book. It's THAT good. You are an amazing author!

What about Beast Boy's pointy ears? Did they hide that?

I love it absolutely amazing can't wait to see what happens

I know this story was written in like, 2000 or whatever, but your story was so good, I just HAD to review. This is, by far, the best story I have ever read. I honestly can't believe you wrote chapters that were over 50 pages long! You wrote so well, and I don't know if you're in college now or whatever, but you should be a writer. Do something with writing, because you really have a skill, here. I hope you dont stop! Thank you for such a wonderful story. I can die happy now, haha!

No no no no no! This story had me on the edge of my seat throughout the whole thing. I normally hate stories with excessive torture/misfortune of a main character. I was discouraged by the topic of rape, pedophilia, complete corruption, but you took it too far. No matter how much this story thrilled me to the bone, you do not threaten children under thirteen with possible rape, torture, and death. That's the line, and the reason I won't be reading the sequel. I'm sorry but I'm going back to fluff... you scare me...