|Reviews for Drinking, Demons and Devilry|
| Caroly chapter 1 . 1/8/2005
Well, your premise intrigued me, but it didn't turn out at all like I expected - though I really liked it. Excellent interaction. I especially liked the conversation between Gandalf and Eowyn. I haven't seen much between them before. I also loved how you resolved it (but I am a hopeless Eowyn/Faramir fan!). And the rest was really cute. Legolas, Gimli, and Eomer all passing out on top of each other was hilarious! And thanks for the explanation of what you meant by pissed - it has a very different meaning in the US. I hope you write more soon. I look forward to reading more by you. Good luck with everything!
| ClapToSaveTheFaries chapter 1 . 1/4/2005
Im a dedicated Faramir/Eowyn 'shipper so I hadn't read any of your stories before, but I really liked this one. It also made me laugh embarassingly loud as Im reading this in the uni library! And pissed means the same in England!
| ilna chapter 1 . 1/4/2005
nice fun story with a lovely ending- i love the penultimate lines: "There was a strange kind of peace in the air. An army of souls on their last journey, paused to bless the union of the two lost warrior hearts."
| shie1dmaidenofrohan chapter 1 . 1/3/2005
I was wondering how you'd manage to combine humor and angst... but it worked. And the mental picture of Legolas and Gimli dancing on the table like Merry and Pippin was just TOO funny!
| Convoluted Passion chapter 1 . 1/3/2005
Beautiful. I loved the way you described every little thing that happened, the, pardon my copy, inner demons threatening to take over all of them. It perfectly depicts the after affects of warfare. Spectacular.
| Loki chapter 1 . 1/3/2005
I like it. I like it a lot.
Is it necessary to use "pissed," though? Kind of jolted me out of it a little.
I also had a problem with "The pain of wearing a corset?" POTC ruined that for me, and besides, I don't think a shield-maiden would be wearing one.
I've never been a fan of quoting songs in a fic for no apparent reason. I think your writing can stand alone as it is.
Éowyn seems a little too angry to me, perhaps a little over the top. I would think of her as being more subtle rather than roaring at them in a bar (unless, of course, she's had a few).
Couple of errors:
'" Aye, but not one for the lassies" Gimli muttered...'
Missing a comma before the closing quotes.
'"present are most likely to feel"'
Need a period before the closing quotes. It's also not clear who says this line.
'...four ales under his belt'
'"Why were it then that I slew the WitchKing?"'
Awkward phrasing. I'm also thinking that "WitchKing" is written "Witch-king" but I'll have to check.
"The inn grew quiet; all inside startled at the outburst from the shield maiden."
Maybe "The inn grew quiet; all inside were startled at the outburst..." I don't think there should be a semicolon there either. Full stop, possibly?
"Eowyn turned in disgust, if the men wanted pain..."
Full stop, probably. It's two separate sentences.
'“Well, that didn't go as planned" Gimli muttered...'
Seems to be muttering a lot, doesn't he? Need a comma before the closing quotes.
'" Well I suppose it could have been worse" Gimli stated " She could have been taken with an elf!"'
Comma before closing quotes, comma immediately after "stated."
'"Well since you are so kind as to grace us with YOUR presence, would you care to order the next round, we'll be here until morning the rate its going" Gimli’s blush was barely perceptible on his dark complexion.'
Comma after "well," question mark after "round," period before closing quotes.
'Legolas signaled again for the barmaid and sat back to gauge the state of his companions – it could have best been summed up by a simple slogan – “there are only two states to be in – Gondor or pissed.”'
Snerk. Anyhoo, perhaps a full stop after "companions" and a colon after "in." This would eliminate the dashes and make the T in "there" capitalized, like so:
"Legolas signaled again for the barmaid and sat back to gauge the state of his companions. It could have best been summed up by a simple slogan: 'There are only two states to be in – Gondor or pissed.'"
"...who had returned to the room, to join him"
Period at the end of the line.
'“The men who accepted your help so readily in the battlefield, they reject you now as they try to make sense of it all?”'
Awkward. I think you smushed two sentences into one. You also may have turned a statement into a question unneccessarily.
"Reaching out, Gandalf ran a hand down the pale cheek"
Period at the end of the line.
"...one wheatfields golden..."
"Wheatfield," I think, or perhaps "wheatfields.'"
"The barmaid began the obstacle like course..."
"Obstacle-course-like," I think. I know there should be a dash in there somewhere, anyway.
"Warrior-bound." Maybe "warriors-bound" since there's several of them, but that's sort of awkward. You also repeat "warrior" two times in the line, which is a little strange to read.
'“Eomer! Put those women down and get your ale! They are not like horses – you can’t control all three of them at once.”'
Unclear at first who says this line.
"Legolas laughed almost showering Gimli with the ale he consumed seconds before."
As I read it, it sounded like Legolas was going to throw up on Gimli. A likely occurence considering the ale they're tossing back, but I think you meant that he was going to spit the ale he had just drank on him. Different phrasing?
"...why were his fathers criticisms..."
"Father's," I think.
"Nothing could have stopped him from leaving the inn. Except for a battle scared yet still feminine hand on his shoulder and her voice."
Second sentence is actually a fragment. I would combine the two into one sentence.
Excellent ending, by the way.