Reviews for First take
KittenKez chapter 15 . 12/27/2007
Aw whys everything happenin 2 Rikku? Bless her!

Update soon! MORE PLZ! More TiYu fluff D!

xxshikaxx chapter 15 . 4/1/2007
ok.1) Don't put Yuri into the story, it is going soo well... putting yuri into it would destory it.

also, there are a few errors. I cant remember where they are but I know what they are: you had warm somewhere, and I know it was meant to be "arm" and you also had "he" instead of "she" somewhere... sorry I cant be of more help there.
xxshikaxx chapter 14 . 4/1/2007
wow... Paine is good. I reckon you should have a battle between her and Lulu... hopefully Lulu would win. xP
xxshikaxx chapter 12 . 4/1/2007

oh, I hope she is ok.
xxshikaxx chapter 11 . 4/1/2007
I think its "cannibals" not "hannibals" I dont know...

grand story.

and where did you get the names Talon and Rachel? they sound soo cool
xxshikaxx chapter 10 . 4/1/2007
YOU GAVE AWAY MY SECRET TO FISHING! hehehehe. joking joking... or am I? :P nah, I am.

awesome, I reckon that would be cool.. electructing fishies.
xxshikaxx chapter 8 . 4/1/2007
whats wrong with sliver hair? its common name is grey hair. :P

he probably wants to be like Kadaj or Yazoo or Loz or Sephy :P

anywho.. good story.

p.s. my bofriend looks like Tidus xD GO ME!
xxshikaxx chapter 7 . 4/1/2007
o... will they find Tidus and Yuna? I sure hope so.

xxshikaxx chapter 6 . 4/1/2007
you have a talent for writing everyone does.

its getting good.. I hope they find the others.

but I have to ask.. what is is with everyone and the peace sign?

anywho. keep up the good writing.

from x-animosity-x

**wisdom is a virtue, so use it wisely**
xxshikaxx chapter 5 . 4/1/2007
HOLY SHIT KEHFO;ASHG L;IS;GLASDHO;SHDF I THOUGHT YOU WERE GUNNA KIL OF TIDUS! I WAS LIKE "NO *takes breath* O *cant be bothered screaming "o" anoymore*

xxshikaxx chapter 4 . 4/1/2007

I love highschool fan fics, but I REALLY love yours!

keep it up
xxshikaxx chapter 3 . 3/31/2007

that brings back memories. I have had soo many sleepovers with guys in one room and girls in the other. Hahahaha, it was a good sleepover. long story.

but good story.
xxshikaxx chapter 1 . 3/31/2007
lol.. the word is "monotoned" not "monotonic"

haha, sorry. I know its probably really random that I am correcting spelling. but you didnt know if it was a word, and I thought I'd help... and yeah.. im going to shut up now.

good story though
Tinuel chapter 2 . 12/10/2006
For right now, I just want to point out little edit things. This review is for the writing style of it all

You have multiple runon sentances, not to mention you've seemed to forget the use of periods when you decide to end them.

Also: This might sound confusing but its a rather big writing deal.

When characters are speaking, they get their own paragraph. Make sure that when one speaks, the other responding goes into their own paragraph. Otherwise, the same person is being read by the reader when it turns out that it /isnt/, and things get very confusing.

Other that those little details, you have a great story going on. I'll get more into the storys review later in a seperate review.
alice griffin chapter 15 . 9/8/2006
will you please change the rikku and paine part please.
142 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »