Reviews for HanyouEXE
ardy1 chapter 18 . 10/25/2011
This story has a wonderful premise and some fairly impressive writing, particularly in the dialogue and characterization. That said, it also has a lot of problems.

Your grammar is horrendous. Possibly this is merely a result of nonexistant proofreading. It is hard for me to imagine that someone as interested in writing as you are could be so ignorant when it comes to the use of "I" and "me", contractions such as "you're" and "it's" (nearly always you use them as possessives, and the possessives when you mean to use contractions), "there" and "their" (do you have a problem with possessives in general?), and simple typos ("and" when you meant to write "an"). Usually, these are the kinds of errors that drive me to abandon a story, but this has been amusing enough and well enough though out to keep me reading.

I have been put off by several other elements, but these are matters of taste and as an author you, of course, have the right to dictate such things. But I'll mention them anyway. Your characters' general lack of morality is a bit offensive, and makes me care less for what happens to them (stealing is not a victimless crime, and can only be condoned when it is done out of desperation). While I generally applaud your characterization, I think Kagome and Rin are so far out of canon that they should be given original names. And your original character is both two-dimensional and over the top. You would have been better-served, I think, to use Kagura as your model for her. The harassment of Rin served no real purpose that I can see, and only damaged the reader's ability to suspend disbelief. Your attempt to explain it as being engineered by Naraku fell a bit flat - he expended an enormous amount of money and effort to indulge in some racist sadism? It doesn't fit the character you otherwise laid out for him.

Still, for something you started in high school the story shows much originality and excellent pacing. Its many good points have made it worthwhile for me to figuratively hold my nose as I wade through the flaws. I hope that in the intervening time since you wrote this you have worked on your writing to improve your command of the basics while retaining your unique voice.
endstart chapter 25 . 8/21/2011
Has the book been published yet? I am very curious. I'd like to buy it if it's out.
InquisitiveTrini chapter 25 . 6/3/2011
Hello Garret Jax,

I know it's been quite a few years since this story went on a cliffhanger. I was curious if you've finished that book you were talking about and if it ever got published. If it has, please let me know the title and where I can find it. If not, please finish the story here on fanfiction or write an original. If you do not have the motivation to do either, would you mind if I finish the story? All credit for the previous chapters would go to you and from looking at other reviews, a lot of other followers of yours would be quite happy. Please let me know what you think. I would love to see the end to this story because it has incredible potential. Thank you.

Corinne Jara chapter 1 . 5/4/2011
I... Kind of wanna cry...
Kintora chapter 25 . 5/2/2011
Shame I can't read the rest, but I understand your reasoning, as I am on the same page too. Either way, nice job! Really enjoyed it while it lasted. I hope one day I can read the rest of it when your famous.
Lian Ryu chapter 9 . 4/21/2011
At the end of this chapter I almost cried for Inuyasha. Yeah it seems kinda silly but I thought the two of them interacting was well done and for a moment I thought of how I would feel if someone I thought of as a friend considered me "fake".
Kaiwren522 chapter 25 . 3/25/2011
well, I've just stumbled across your story and it's been 4 years since you decided you wanted it published. If you could, please update again with the title of the book, so that we may find it? If, worst case scenario, it hasn't been published, then maybe consider finishing this beautiful piece of fiction for us?
Kintora chapter 7 . 3/7/2011
I think my favorite line in this whole story (so far as I've read) is "He couldn't really describe what it actually was, but if it existed in the real world, it might have been the outcome of a one night stand between a porcupine and the Great Wall of China." I burst out laughing and scared my flatmate pretty badly. XD

I love your writing, and I took the liberty to peek ahead a bit and realized you had discontinued this story for the sake of making it into something more substantial than a fanfic. How goes it? I'd love to read the rest of this story if it's actually published.

Just wanted to say, I'm lovin' it.
pickle toes -not signed in chapter 25 . 1/2/2011
I'm not sure if your still reading reviews for this story, but could u please tell me how it ends? Its killing me! Or post the finish or something to tell me how this ends? Thank you!
Storyteller alchemist chapter 25 . 11/7/2010
hn... what can i say, im really fucking pissed that you dicontined this in order to re-write and make a book out of it, it couldnt hurt to finish it AFTER your book is published could it?, your loyal readers deserve THAT much atleast.

and in all honesty i dont think ill buy the book if you published it for a number of reasons:

1)i basically know whats gonna happen

2)the story never really grasped me, i liked it at the begining but it felt like you never gave your characters enough depth, like sango she sounded like a clueless bitch who fails at everything, you could probably get away with that in your book. i never had a problem stopping at climatic parts, the only reason i read this far is because i mainly refuse to stop reading a story no matter what.

3) you kept jumping around too much, the bits i actually wanted to read about it felt like you rushed through without adding enough detail and the rest you just dragged on , you need to describe things a bit better (but not too much so that it takes up pages just to describe a bed, thats just horrible, cant stand it when people do that!)

4) im pissed that you left us at probably the biggest subtle cliff hanger ive ever read and i hold grudges for a long time (yeah, bad habit) i probably wont read your book just to spite you (which will cause me more damage than you, but im rather irrational with these things)

you had great ideas but i feel you didnt use them to the fullest extend, i know writting is really hard,(my stories not anything to brag about) i think it was really unfair to do that, even if it was three years ago.

but, in all honest i have to admit, this was one of my favourite inuyasha AU stories
alphaprincess0803 chapter 25 . 10/19/2010
I began to have an inkling about such an abandonment when I finished the 24th chapter and realized that there was no way the story could have been wrapped up in the next one. And so...

I wish you hadn't ended your note with a goodbye... It sounds rather morbid. I'm slightly disappointed that you decided not to finish, but I get the reasoning behind it. Seems like a bunch of my favorite writers here are turning into real-life authors.

Anywho (you stole away the rest of this story from me, so I will now proceed to steal your line), good luck with publishing and whatnot. I'm so buying it if it ends with EXE.


alphaprincess0803 chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
Hm... You know, to be honest, I actually got way too into this story to even consider reviewing and breaking my momentum, but then I accidentally clicked the review button instead of the next page button. (it's the moblie version I'm on)

Anyway, good job so far! The only thing that had me confused was when Kagome named the program. It's just a blank spot. FF deletes long, continuous chunks of text and words that seem like spam websites, which is occasionally irritating. Just thought you should know.

I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the story!

MidnightFlame325 chapter 25 . 10/17/2010
Y-you can't *twitch* stop *twitch* this story *twitch* yet!
Monica chapter 25 . 7/26/2010
I want to tell you that I fully enjoyed this story. I was happy to see that you were planning on publishing it, but it has been about 3 freaking years. If it worked out, should it have been out by now? Sorry. I just really like the story. If you had a hard time, just know that you have US. Though you might have forgotten already cause it's been three years.

If you're still working, good luck. If you stopped... I hope you'll just check back here once in a while and find out that we're still, not very patiently, but still waiting for you to enlighten us with amaxing reading material. Hopefully, we'll hear from you soon. (:
Ivsovi chapter 25 . 6/28/2010

Yes, I know this is a little bit after the fact, but I would still likew to review your lovely story.

First off, I would like to say that you are quite right - this is perfect book material. This plot is engaging, suprising, and overall amazing. You make a good use of foreshadowing, character devolpment and imagry, and your spelling and grammer is wonderful (that is not something I can say for every fanfiction...). That being said, I would love to see if you have published the book you have mentioned in this chapter, and what the books name is. I would love if you would tell me the name, as I have no real desire to go searching through the bookstore for a rather outdated (well, three years old isn't outdated, persay) book, whos name I am not certain of. If you haven't published the book yet, shame on you! You really should. It would make a wonderful story, and I'm sure that many people would enjoy it.

Later days!

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