|Reviews for My Hatred, My Obsession|
| madteen66 chapter 4 . 5/15
Such a treat to read this story!
| amongthetrees chapter 1 . 4/20
This chapter is a wonderful start, I admire your lovely prose, your settings are descriptive, but brief. I can tell you must of lovingly (and painfully, I'm sure) peeled back your original story and layered it with your new found writing knowledge... and life experiences perhaps? This chapter gave off a personal vibe in a sense- or maybe you're just that talented? :)
I also like your characterization of Kagome. Although possessed, I truly feel her pain and anguish as she fights in vain to both save her from the creature and herself. Although Kikyo's death clearly brought her great pain, her actions seem reasonable and her conflicting emotions are heart wrenching. Is the monster willing her to die, or is that how SHE feels? I love how you kept that inner turmoil so ambiguous.
I also like how you avoided common similes and went for something more unique- "Different currents fighting over her weakened form like a pack of rabid dogs over a scrap of meat." Now THAT was a great visual. (Nice symbolism too, given the dog demons and what not).
One suggestion I would make is this- since we know her arm/shoulder must of broken, describe the lack of it's use now. First she's flailing, kicking and fighting to stay a float, her arm breaks like the sound of branch snapping, and now she can't use it at all. Not just for obvious reasons, but you never know how much we use our limbs until we can't anymore.
I'm SO glad I found this story, you're doing a lovely job so far. :D
| YelloMarker chapter 4 . 3/15
Your writing is really beautiful, and the suspense is killing me. I really love Sesshomaru's characterization. It is really true to the anime, how heartless, quiet, and emotionally stunted he is. I hope you will finish this story. I will be waiting! Ciao
| Innusurri chapter 4 . 3/3
Fantastic update. Can't wait to read more!
| MadHatter-92 chapter 4 . 2/23
Love this. Please tell me there's more soon?
| REDWOLF47 chapter 4 . 2/4
Poor Kagome. Can not wait until the chapter :)
| Darknessdawns chapter 4 . 2/3
This story is incredibly interesting. So much has happened to poor Kagome and I do hope that soon we find out what is possessing Kagome. I also hope to see her gain control over herself again. Happy writing, I can't wait to read more.
| guest chapter 4 . 2/3
What possesed kagome? sesshomaru just please save her! keep it coming author-sama
| PredatoryQuill chapter 4 . 2/2
So here I am, sitting myself down to review another story of yours. I think my reviewing skills have improved since I was reading Amaranthine, so let's hope my comments can be useful to you. I am now an official editor for a small time short story/novel magazine, so I will be happy to put my new knowledge to use. A while back, I saw someone in Amaranthine giving longer reviews and grouping them by chapter. That was a great idea, so I think I'll copy what they did and review two chapters at a time rather than spamming your inbox for every part of the story with huge packs of text.
So let's get started! For those reading this review, please be aware of possible spoilers that may be present. If you just want to know whether to give this story a shot or to pass it over, I strongly suggest reading it, as this writer's style and skill is impeccable across the board.
For Chapters 1 and 2:
The first paragraph caught my attention right away. Since that moment, I haven't been able to put this story down. All of these abrupt events kind of tossed us into the deep-end of things right off the bat. We don't really know what's happening yet, and I have a lot of questions about how all of this came to be. I trust that everything will be explained in due time, and I'm ready to follow this quest to wherever it leads.
In chapter 2, I think my favorite part was the imagery. I enjoyed how all of the descriptions and images tied together with Kagome's inner emotions, feelings, and doubts. The weak clay that surprisingly held the walls together and made them stronger? That was a wonderful analogy to Kagome's situation! I could clearly feel her depression and melancholy.
We're given a warning about her injury and an ultimatum. The stakes are high. Will she heal? Will she be able to use a bow again? Will she find a way to regain her spiritual power? Rika gives us some hope here when she tells Kagome that she CAN regain her strength. But will she regain it in time?
The last scene with Sesshoumaru was a great touch. I felt he was very much IC here (I'm speaking from what I remember about him from the time when I was still reading the comic). Nothing felt out of place. At this point, I was hoping that his wouldn't turn into a story where Sesshoumaru is super dark and murderous. I really didn't want to read a story where he mistreats Kagome severely (though some indifference is expected). Luckily, this doesn't seem to be headed that way!
As a final note on those two chapters, I like how Kagome is still herself no matter the situation. You've thrown so many obstacles at this poor girl, but despite it all, she is still going strong and is determined to help others more than herself. I've always respected that selfless tendency in her, even if I did find the character herself a little annoying sometimes in the show.
For Chapter 3 and Chapter 4:
What can I say? These are action-packed pieces! Your narrative displays a good balance between exposition, action, and scene-setting. Great follow-through with the imagery to give the inner thoughts and emotions a boost. Sesshoumaru's bit was wonderful to read. You do his voice beautifully. I am very impressed with the care you show in your syntax and prose. I hardly see this in fanfiction realms. Stories whose authors care enough about things like this are a dime a dozen unfortunately.
I'm drooling over this subduing spell concept. I really want to know where that will go. The scene with the "creature" thing forcing Kagome to kill the merchants was pretty scary. Putting myself in that position, I think I would have been just as angry as Kagome. So far, Kagome in general is, in my opinion, in character despite the unusual situation she is in. I love how you repeatedly show her strength of will and her desire to help her friends. She feels absolutely real to me, and I found myself relating to her throughout the chapters.
To give you an idea of my current reader mindset, some of my questions so far are: What exactly happened on the cliff above the river on the night of the storm? What are these shadow things? Why is Kagome the only one that can see them? Why did Kagome sense a jewel shard when she talked to the creature? What exactly is her plan at this point? What does she hope to accomplish when she finds the bow maker? Even if she repairs the bow, she has no powers, right? Will she get her powers back?
Will Sesshoumaru really just follow her quietly and not help her at all? I want him to help her, but I understand that he won't change his outlook on anything overnight. I don't expect that from one of your stories. In fact, I'm expecting a slow burn, just like Amaranthine. I love slow-burn romances. I look forward to seeing how you develop Sesshoumaru here.
I'm sure you'll show us eventually, but where are Inuyasha and the group?
I'll reiterate again - this story is shaping up to be a fun adventure so far. I sincerely hope you update soon. Please look for another one of my reviews around chapter 6!
| AlbinoSongBird chapter 4 . 2/2
I saw an email in my mailbox telling me you were updating stories again. I mainly read SWTOR fanfiction, but Inuyasha was one of my favorite anime back in the day. I decided to check this out, and I am VERY impressed. I think your writing has improved a lot since Amaranthine, and I still go back and re-read that story because it's so amazing and beautiful.
I've been on the edge of my seat since chapter one of this new version. What suspense! What action! What drama! Great job with everything, and please update soon!
| Lola1991 chapter 4 . 2/1
This chapter was sad but still wonderfully written.
| Nyght elf chapter 4 . 2/2
I am sorry but to make kagome a killer is too much in my book. Or didn't her hand kill that man?This is just my opinion ok? And she was never under control for so long in the manga so to twist her character so much... I am not sure I can continue reading sorry. The thing with the control is already annoying. Even if her powers were sealed I can't believe something else from her soul or even her sealed powers wouldn't fight to help free her. You show no struggle of a fight of her powers. Internal yes with the monster yes but not her power which is her essence a part of her soul no? You make her too powerless in my opinion. But that is just me..maybe I am used and like a stronger kagome. I know you mean to show her growth and I adore your writing I do its just the way you make kagome's not my cup of tea. This doesn't mean it's wrong or other won't like it. It's just me. I see kagome too pathetic. And I like that you make her struggling and show that she is human but the created monster has too much power over her. And again it's only my opinion I mean no disrespect. We know that magatsuki never influenced her so much in the manga and he wasn't inside her soul which is too pure for a being so dark even if her powers are sealed. I wish you good luck with your writing! Take care! And keep writing you are doing an amazing job it's me that has other preferences.
| Guest chapter 3 . 1/30
I am loving this story. Great job!
| Lola1991 chapter 3 . 1/29
Ugh my gosh! Such a good chapter, really kept me on my toes. Can't wait for the next!
| Noacat chapter 2 . 1/27
AH! I'm so glad this updated. It's been one of my favorites.