Reviews for A Ghost Story
Kate chapter 2 . 9/9/2010
When I read your complaint about not getting enough reviews, I didn't expect much from your story. However, So far I think it is really good. Your story is beautifully written and Erik seems very in character.

I have to agree with Dreaming of Ravens at Night that if this is an Erik/Chrisine match you might gain people's attention by mentioning that in the summary. But that doesn't really account for your overall shortage of reviews. I wish I had some better advice..
dreaming of ravens at night chapter 4 . 6/11/2010
This is really good, but you might want to change your summary to capture people's attention. You need something that peaks Erik/Christine fans' interests, you said you wonder why people don't read your story, that might be why. Though keep up the good work.
nativedreamer chapter 4 . 2/20/2006
You asked for reviews, and impressions of your story.

It is different from most of what's on this site. Erik is vulnerable. Also, you let the child's perspective shape several of the chapters. It creates an unusual mix.

Sometimes I get into the spirit of the child, and how she's bringing joy and purpose to the Phantom's life. At other times, I sit back in mild disbelief. But when that's happening, I feel a great deal of it is due to expectations I have fostered by having read 2 books and seeing 4 Phantom based movies.

I'm charmed enough by this tale to suspend those expectations and go on. I've read some of the reviews you've gotten. I don't believe in holding an author to a rigid story line based on previous published writings. I like flexibility, as long as it follows a certain degree of reasonable thought.

As to why others haven't reviewed, well, this is fanfiction and some of the authors with the greatest number of reviews aren't necessarily doing the best work on this site. Instead, they're playing to the crowds.

~nativedreamer~
nativedreamer chapter 1 . 2/19/2006
Excellent start.
HughloverX chapter 30 . 1/3/2006
Wow, I absolutely adored this fic. Wonderfully written. Thank you so much. Lovely. Pure beauty.
BlazeoftheInferno chapter 5 . 10/19/2005
In regards to the "Noel" chapter:

Greetings. I'm afraid I must apologize if I don't meet your expectations and rant and rave over every single paragraph, like I usually do, but I'm afraid I rather liked this chapter. The overall word I'd use to describe it would be 'charming'. The overall "happy" tone of the chapter is completely different from that of Leroux's book due to the fact that Erik isn't in the desperate situation that he was in before when Christine was involved. So this is what Erik is like when he isn't angry, jealous, insane/mad with love, miserable, horrifying, or pretending to be the Angel of Music. You're beginning to make him seem almost, hmm, NORMAL. Although that may not necessarily be a good thing since it vanquishes Leroux's image of a tortured, crazed, musical genius that is both mysterious and mischievous, but then perhaps it was only Christine that really made him crazy. Still, making him an 'ordinary but ugly guy' kind of takes away his appeal. Just a suggestion.

But I like how Erik knew to put the money in Suzette's shoe even though no one ever did that for him when he was young. Although I can't help but wonder at the fact that he was able to find Suzette's treasured box in the exact same night that she had mentioned it. Objects tend to have have knack for getting lost when they are thought insignificant by those that possess them. However, it was a charming surprise for Suzette on Christmas. And Suzette's gift to Erik was very sweet as well. However, she gave it to him rather fast without seeming to consider what she was doing. After all, her father had given that to her. It merely seemed queer that she would give it away, no matter to whom, without thinking about it. I mean, she announced happily that she was going to give Erik his Christmas present only a few seconds after receiving the chest. The only way that would seem plausible was if she had been expecting the chest and had known ahead of time that she was going to give Erik something from said box. Or perhaps I'm being too picky. I don't know. I guess I'm trying to say that a phrase stating that she had removed something from the box, examined it and then kept it out after closing the lid and just hid it behind her back or somthing would have been apropriate.

Do you know why I'm being nitpicky about this ONE subject? Because there's nothing else for me to be nitpicky about! Either I'm losing my touch or this story is improving as the chapters increase.

Either way, this was a, (I'm going to say it just to annoy you), CUTE chapter. Nice work.

P.S. I STILL think you're just looking for an excuse to get him to leave his domain.
Orindar's Code chapter 30 . 8/6/2005
What a lovely story! It was really touching in so many ways on so many levels. For some reason I'm glad Erik died, glad he died peacefully that is. I liked how you said "and the angels took him away" or something along those lines. I did notice how you seemed to spell debt with a 'p' I'm not sure if this is an alternate spelling, but I thought I'd point it out anyway.

I wasn't as fond as the relationship between Eirk and Christine. Christine seemed to distant but you were going purely on Leroux so I guess it works out.(I'm also a hopeless E/C shipper) But I found it touching all the same.

I loved how you protrayed Roaul. It wasn't bashing but you didn't make him a total understanding gentlemen either. He seemed a little spoiled, jealous, and he liked to hold grudges.

Again Awesome Job. Brava Brava Bravissma!

O.C.
BlazeoftheInferno chapter 4 . 7/26/2005
This is an interesting chapter.

The way Erik gives Suzette money and tells her what to say to the clerk is very understandable and it's a good arrangement for one who does not wish to accompany a child into a store. Also, the way Suzette handles herself in the store, without becoming nervous when questioned and the way she lies so believably, shows that she is extremely resourceful. Many an adult would not have come up such good excuses. She has some good qualitites.

I'm a little confused about Erik's mentality. He seemed worried that he had killed the man. (As King of Stranglers, you'd think he'd know.) But did he just find that 'cord' lying around, or is he still carrying the Punjab lasso with him wherever he goes? If so, you'd think he would have no qualms about using it but if he is squeamish about killing people, why carry the lasso with him? Also, why did he fall over when the man did? Does he have no gracefullness about him anymore? Why not just make him be Like Everybody Else and have bash the guy over the head with the nearest rock or somthing? I don't know, he just seemed less Eriky and more like That Guy Living Across the Street, rather than a scarred genius.

Erik sensed a dark presence and he RAN? What is this, a horror movie? Perhaps our opinions differ on this but Erik doesn't seem like the type to be easily intimidated. All he had to do was set the child down and use his own stealth to seek out what it was that he sensed. I just can't see Erik running from anything. Erik is the Hunter, not the Hunted.

Erik thinks that they have to leave because the man saw them? Didn't Christine own a rather large KEY to the Rue Scribe gate? Raoul looked for the gate but he never found it. Yes, I know he didn't see Erik actually go through the gate but it doesn't change the fact that the Gate is not exactly obvious. Never mind the fact that even if the doofus were to FIND the Rue Scribe gate, he would STILL have to get past Erik's Siren. Were you just looking for an excuse for them to leave?

I find it interesting that Suzette would not be afraid where Christine was terrified and even suicidal. Suzette showed no reaction to Erik's face. Come on, even Raoul fainted at the sight of Erik's face. Even the DAROGA refused to look at him! You seem to have downplayed Erik's worst feature. Or is Suzette just special? As Modern Day whackos, we are used to such horrors as the Living Dead, but the people back then were not so immune.

Overall, not bad. The conversations are well crafted and the descriptions are alright. You did a great job with the settings; I had no trouble keeping track of where they were and where they were going, so that was good. I liked the beginning more than I liked the end, though.
tinkerbellbaby87 chapter 1 . 7/2/2005
ok. first of all i would like 2 say i'm appalled at both your fanfiction and your reviews of other fanfictions. you have no right to critizize people like that, because you are not that good yourself! you write by the book: write, put detail; write, put detail. Do somthing different for once! please improve both your writing and your attitude, before you plague the fanfiction world again!
Baldwin's Lady chapter 30 . 5/24/2005
Brava! This was truly an enjoyable story, something you can't say about many others in this fandom. I do not share your distaste for the movie, musical or other Phantom related publications, however, I can see by the way you write that Leroux is your favorite and would remain your favorite, even if you were to read other books about the same story.

You captured the tragedy and genius of Monsieur Leroux's Erik beautifully and, while the plot line was, at times, a little hard to follow and I never really could imagine Suzette growing up, this was one of the most enjoyable stories I have read so far. Thank you for contributing your abilities to this site.

Dagny

P.S. Ignore those imbeciles who attacked you. 'Miriam' must be very immature indeed.
allegratree chapter 1 . 5/24/2005
I know this annoys some readers, but due to the fact that some cowardly indivuduals have decided to send me anonymous reviews which have nothing to do with my story and/or include profanity, I am going to have to not allow anonymous reviews any longer. I love to hear from readers, especially if they disagree with me, and I am always happy to have a discussion with them about any point regarding my or their writing. I hope that if you have something to say about my writing you can find it in your heart to sign on. If you don't have an account or don't feel comfortable posting your review, please, PLEASE feel free to email me. My address is on the website. Make sure to put the story title in the subject box, or I might erase it by accident if I don't recognise your screen name. If you have comments about a review that I sent you, I would love to hear from you. Please email me or write a note in your own story. DO not post a review on my story to ask me a question about your own. That is what YOUR review list is for. If I took the trouble to review once, then I will most likely look at it againt to see if you have continued with another chapter or made any changes or improvements, so I will most likely see it.

Respectfully,

Allegratree
BlazeoftheInferno chapter 3 . 5/21/2005
OK! Here I am! It took me long enough but I'm ready to review.

*snickers* The Ratcatcher knows where Erik lives? MWAHAHAHAHA! I would have thought that Erik would have mentioned that sneaky Shade, that he seems to know so well, but the RATCATCHER? BLAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Was he just saying all that to scare Suzette or was he serious? *snickers*

You had Erik build his first house when he was young? He must not have spent very long in the freak show and his stay in Persia must have been VERY brief indeed. He was already eight years old by the time he ran away from his parents afterall.

Besides that, Erik was one of the contractors of the Opera House and he helped build it. You'd think that he would have known the other worker's shifts and been able to avoid them. You certainly are making Erik out to be an ordinary mortal that makes ordinary mistakes. I know that he is just a man but it's quite sad that you make him out to be so pathetic. Was he or was he not a supergenius?

I like how you had Suzette wonder what a Daroga was. I didn't even know that the first time I read the book and saw that word. Thank goodness for the footnotes.

I thought Suzette was supposed to be a starving orphan. I know children tend not to eat things but if they are STARVING and there are no other tempting cookies to steal nearby, you'd think one wouldn't be picky about getting SOMTHING to eat rather than garbage. I thought only fat spoiled children were finicky eaters.

Your scenario with Suzette's tantrum was very believable. Erik acted in a way that most people, that weren't total idiots, would behave and Suzette's actions were entirely typical of a child as well.

AGH! Not a picnic! ANYTHING but that! AGH! Havn't you even seen the Charles Dance POTO movie? Erik took Christine on a picnic in that one and it was HORRIBLE! If I said I was traumatized it would be an understatement! I really wish you hadn't brought up the P-word. SIGH.

I liked how you had Suzette have to go back and look for her shoes. It's so typical of a kid.

“It doesn’t eat fish,” he said simply. I really liked this line! It's hilarious.

Overall, this is a good chapter and I enjoyed reading it. It was amusing and cute without being fluffy. Good work.
sexibitchgracay chapter 1 . 5/13/2005
Hey I'm writing back from a review you wrote for my story, the love child. i really don't understand what you mean. this was a sweet story and it was short and random but it was not one of my sexual fantasies. i don't understand what the problem is. its not porn(duh!)i don't write porn. you have no idea what you're talking about. unless i'm missing something. please e-mail me or wite anpther review. i am really confused.
Theodosia Roy chapter 5 . 5/9/2005
mwah...again, Suzette is undeniably...adorable. Go Christmas! These last few chapters have been wonderful, and if there were any errors, I did not notice them during my reading...

*snugs Suzette 'n' Erik*
Takada Saiko chapter 2 . 5/9/2005
persistant little thing, isn't she? She's cute.

I like the scene with Erik using his voice-throwing talent to entertain little Suzette. Very sweet.

My only advice would be (and I may be totally wrong, so please don't feel you have to listen) is that “I’ll take you home right now. Don’t be afraid. I like children even though I’ve never really known a child before. You’re a nice little girl. You’re a pretty little girl. I’m sorry that I yelled at you. You shouldn’t stay here. I’ll take you home right now, just tell me where you live" seemed a bit choppy to me. Maybe combine some of the sentences or something... I don't know. Unless you were giving the impression that he was rambling on, and if that's the case, it works well.

TS
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