Reviews for Hinata's Story
Ah-choo chapter 1 . 1/22/2005
Sweet. I gotten tired of it too, that's why I went to the SasuHina fics. I'm glad you're taking a diffrent route.
Dragon Man 180 chapter 1 . 1/21/2005
Wow, usually I don't see Hinata training so much to become stronger with weights, the amount she was carrying was surprising. She really caused some damage to Kabuto, I bet she is on par with Naruto now. I hope you write a sequel to this story, or some more chapters.
Kryssa chapter 1 . 1/21/2005
*grins widely* Funny thing, really, that the reason I had to check this out was the summary phrase in which you mention Naruto "cleaning her tonsils in two or less paragraphs". I've not seen a clever tagline outside of those in tabloids (and that's a compliment, 'cause this attracts attention like nothing else). But okay, I'm getting off-topic.

I'm a Naruhina fan that is constantly sad due to the lack of Naruhina fics. So I was very interested from the get-go about this story. And, to be honest, I'm really excited about how it's going to go. I like the idea of taking the slow route, in which Naruto has to... mature, I suppose would be the right word. I like how different (yet the same) he is now. Tripping over himself, being nervous around Hinata, and all that jazz. Yet he's intelligent and somewhat intuitive; a trait that is not very emphasized in the manga/anime. It will be interesting to see how quickly he catches onto Hinata's interest.

I also love Hinata's character. I think it's probably the most believable and well-written growth of her character. I can see both sides of her: the "weak" and the "strong". She's still lacking confidence and isn't able to get past her little failures (despite the fact that they weren't really failures). However, she's determined, strong as hell, and one of the most matured and well-defined characters. I love the evolution of her character, and I cannot say it enough. The ease in which she goes from shy to a fighter is beautifully done. I also am very amused by how the 'puberty fairy' did a nice job at taking care of Hinata. Good bit of humor, there. I commend you for your work here.

The only CC I'd like to mention is the misspelling of 'Sasuke' and some of the other characters' names, along with a lack of commas. I don't want to keep going on too long, since this is a very long review, but I can't wait for the next chapter to come out. Thanks for the great read.
mike11 chapter 1 . 1/21/2005
wow, great story. The fight story descriptions was very good and I liked the little bits of misc. info, it made it funny to read.

Example- "when the sweater hit a small tree and crushed it."

very nice work. I hope you post more.

p.s. I always thought hinata wore a jacket? Is it a sweater?
Drkjester chapter 1 . 1/21/2005
Nice action sequence. Your story seemed well polished and well thoughtout. I will be awaiting the next chapter for some real goodies. As for Hinta and Naruto, loved the way you didn't throw them together without them needing to work for it. Keep up the good work.
vedmid chapter 1 . 1/21/2005
holy...

wow... well you've succeeded in setting this apart from most of the othe naru/hina fics out there

I am really looking forward to seeing this continue

also, very nice fight description
DarknessofDawn chapter 1 . 1/21/2005
Interesting start...can't wait to read more.
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