Reviews for Sailor Quazar
justforcomment chapter 1 . 8/19/2010
i hope shampoo and mousse will be partnered up here
mtg2192 chapter 1 . 11/8/2007
Alright. I'm going to hate myself for flaming you for this, but...

Did you TRY to suck at writing? I could write better in second grade. On a BAD day. There's no punctuation. You need periods, question marks, capitals... You name it, you don't have it! Also, this is extremely short.

Perhaps this isn't your best quality writing (I hope so). If you can write better, I urge you to. This is like something written by a hyperactive teenage girl (don't ask, I've had a bit of experience with that. At least my sister, who isn't hyperactive, can write pretty well: She wrote a great poem for a family wedding. But I digress).

It seems to me that most of your writing is done on an IM service. Most people on FanfictionNet DON'T want to read that kind of crap. Hell, most people on IM don't want to read that kind of crap (and I'm not talking about your story here).

I urge you to put the best possible quality on here that you can. This is not a forum (at least, most of the website isn't), this is not an IM server, this is not a blog, this is a community of writers. Writers tend to at least have an editor if they cannot edit themselves.

Tell me. Would you want to read this? And I mean look at it after it's been posted for at least three months to determine this (for any story). I suspect you won't.

Not to mention that this is far too quick of a plot.

EVIL-TOFU chapter 1 . 8/16/2005
I went ahead and read this twice and the best advice I can offer is

stop... just stop. This fic was physically painful to read.

I apologize if I caused any offense.
Ki Nexus chapter 1 . 1/31/2005
Somehow I got this sudden urge to claw my eyes out. And that was only by reading the first couple of sentences.
calamite chapter 1 . 1/31/2005
Ok this story was a little rushed I have no idea what went on but it could become a good story if you fix it.

Until next time

Usagi-Hasano chapter 1 . 1/30/2005
I like the idea, but the way you are going about makes it seem a little rushed.
Campin' Carl chapter 1 . 1/30/2005
After attempting to read this all I can say is...huh?

This is obviously meant as a joke, and if it wasn't, give up on writing. Now. Kudos for getting guts to do it, though.
Jerry Unipeg chapter 1 . 1/30/2005
Very good start.
Pilgrim chapter 1 . 1/30/2005
Almost, but not quite, Deus-Ex-Machina.

Yes, Nerima does exist. It is both the largest (Geographically) and the westernmost of Tokyo's "ancient wards." The wards are administrative districts similiar to NY city's buroughs - i.e. much larger than a single neighborhood. Tokyo is huge (almost twice the population of NY) and each of the wards would make a fair sized city in its own right. Nerima is an "ancient ward" because it pre-dates modern Tokyo. The modern city has actually expanded far beyond the original wards.

Furinkan is not a district of Tokyo, it's only the name of the imaginary High School Ranma and crew attend. Over the years Fanfiction writers have understandably assumed that Furinkan Highschool was located in the Furinkan neighborhood, but that's not necessarily the case. Ranma's neighborhood was deliberatly intended to be as generic as possible: Recognizably the Tokyo suburbs, but not quite pinnable to any one specific place on the map.

So Furinkan is an imaginary corner of a real one. It's kind of like Lake Wobegon in that sense, except I'm not quite convinced that Minnesota actually exists.

The DCG chapter 1 . 1/30/2005
This hurt me, Deeply.
Deus-Ex-Machina chapter 1 . 1/30/2005
Interesting, though there are some points.

First, this is one of my pet peeves, it is NERIMA, not Nermia, part of the Furinken district of Tokyo.

Next, I'm pretty sure the names of the Senshi(They are NOT scouts, after all, they don't go door to door selling cookies, do they?) are as follows, though I may be wrong:

Ami Mizuno - Sailor Mercury

Minako Aino - Sailor Venus

Usagi Tsukino - Sailor Moon

Rei Hino - Sailor Mars

Makoto Kino - Sailor Jupiter

Hotaru Tomoe - Sailor Saturn

Haruka Tenou - Sailor Uranus

Michiro Kaioh - Sailor Neptune

Setsuna Meioh - Sailor Pluto

You might also want to check your punctuation and grammer, It is kind of rough reading at the moment. And as for the list of names they are the Japanese names, I believe the makes were idiots when they changed the names when they brought it to the west, as it only serves to confuse things.
Sunhawk1 chapter 1 . 1/30/2005

Horrible. Seriously. For a start, try a spell-check: "Quasar", "Akane", "first", and "story". Next, try punctuation. It exists for a reason. Run-on sentence. I should just shoot your story with a digital sniper rifle and put it out of its misery, but I'm not that kind.

"Summary: Ranma is a senshi of quazar it’s not a planet but it could be one one day so there but how and what is the past of girl type and why is chibi-chibi there this is my first so please review and tell me what is good and bad."

A 'quasar' is not a planet, that is true. It's a CATEGORY OF STELLAR OBJECT.

The disclaimer:

Good god almighty. Spellcheck, punctuation check, grammar check. Oh, and style check too.

The story:

... I can't force myself at gunpoint to read past the first line.

Look, to be honest, the story is horrible. I can't even comment on the whole plot so far because I can't read it. Maybe you were completely snookered when you wrote it, or perhaps you're no older than eight years. Maybe. Go and read somemore fics - Gabriel Blessing wrote a number of excellent Ranma/Sailor Moon crosses. This time, take notes.
raincloudblue chapter 1 . 1/30/2005
please review ill write more if you do