|Reviews for In His Lady's Chamber|
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/3
i slowly stand and give you appoues
| HoshiNoTsuya chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
Aaaw, this was lovely. If they ever get together, this is a good approach on how that might be. They're my favorite pairing. Thanks for writing! :)
| Edainwen chapter 1 . 6/27/2012
truly great! so good! i can think of this one like a sequel to the other one so good! love is in the air! xDDD
thanks a lot
| Dashusi4ka chapter 1 . 9/16/2011
you know, I think it's R at best
| Gena346 chapter 1 . 7/28/2011
So good! :)
| mamzellebutterfly chapter 1 . 1/2/2009
Lovely-ful! Well written, you kept them in character, and it was still fluffy. Although... Rakushun isn't all "high-class", so how he talks... maybe fewer big words. Other than that, it's awesome!
| Playing Scrabble with Orcs chapter 1 . 12/26/2008
| Saph04 chapter 1 . 8/31/2007
Love two make a great couple
| Laura chapter 1 . 5/9/2006
Cute, Cute, SO CUTE! i loved it. please write more _
| joean chapter 1 . 3/28/2006
do more chapter please...
| Kettricken chapter 1 . 2/9/2006
sorry, can't be bothered to log in, but anonymous critical reviews are cowardly and obnoxious. Above is my ffnet handle.
I love this pairing, and I think this story is very gentle and nice, right up until the point where they get into bed to have sex, at which point it became a bit disappointing.
1) Immediate vaginal intercourse without foreplay- and Youko's probably a virgin, given her background, although that's hardly sure- tends to be less than pleasant, as one is dry.
2)They finally consummate their relationship, and after orgasm she responds with "Thank you"? "I love you" is fine, but this sounds as if he's just brought her a cup of tea while she's absentmindedly legislating... something. I don't want to be too harsh here, I like that you've gone for the quiet mood instead of godgodyesyesYES- it suits the genre. But this is rather tame. I'd like to see more of what Youko's feeling at this point- emotionally, not lemon-ly.
3)Again, "She did her best to push against him"? This phrasing makes it sound as if Youko finds the sex distasteful.
Sex scenes are very difficult to write well (why I avoid them!), but if you're going to follow the camera into the gory details, it's gotta be good. It's got to be more than Generic Sex Act X.
I hope that you don't mind me being critical; it's so difficult to acheive the correct smiling encouraging tone of voice in prose! I like the non-pornness of your sex scene, but still think it could use a rewrite, just a sort of... touching up, bringing in more emotions and tension and details, even if they're not the gory kind. The scrunching toes is a good start.
OK, that's all!
| ProspectKiss chapter 1 . 2/2/2006
Hello! Thank you for sharing this story. I am a huge fan of "Twelve Kingdoms," and especially of Youko and Rakushun. Yours is one of the very few I've seen of this pairing (and that's a shame!).
Even though you say it's a PWP, I felt that you set up a romantic, sincere mood. The love scene didn't feel forced, and it seemed like there were honest feelings being expressed. The "action" is described very tastefully but not graphically. I feel happier for having read your story!
I did notice a few minor punctuation errors, but nothing that detracted from the story. They were mostly towards the beginning. I'm just being nitpicky, though, since I actually edit papers for a living (sigh). I'm also a little confused by the opening paragraph. Is Youko regretting what happened with Rakushun? Why does she feel she's been "horrible"?
Aside from those two things, I really, really enjoyed your story. Thank you again for posting it, and for making YoukoxRakushun lovers like me squeal with glee.
| Cagalli Yula Athha Fangirl chapter 1 . 1/28/2006
Wai! that was sweet and hot too XD
I loved it.
A job well done, keep it up
ja ne _
| ladydheedra chapter 1 . 11/6/2005
great story, i love the pairing.. but i just wish rakushun would have shown a bit more emotion for even though he tends to hide alot of the deep down stuff i think in this situation he would open up more
| Loveless-Beloved-Endless chapter 1 . 8/24/2005
O, I liked that piece. I always liked them together. You did a great job. It was revealing but not to smutty.