|Reviews for Children of the Legend|
| Guest chapter 26 . 6/30
Please countinue this story it is so cool
| Guest chapter 13 . 5/5
I am so glad to see that Harry Potter is in this story. I love Harry Potter.
| RyuuDragon22 chapter 26 . 2/27
Please update! I love this story so far! It's amazing! I can't wait for another chapter! :)
| Jenny chapter 26 . 9/30/2015
This story is amazing! One of thee best stories I've read, can't wait for the next update! :)
| Splosionzz chapter 26 . 8/18/2015
Hey I'm back again! Just as I had hoped your story really improved as it went on. I am glad that I gave the time to read it. A lot of what I gave feedback for in my earlier review was improved on in later chapters anyway so you can take it or leave it. It is disappointing that you haven't updated in so long and you may not even use this account anymore. However if you are reading this I hope that you can get back into writing and improve your skills. I look forward to reading your work in the future!
| Splosionzz chapter 1 . 8/18/2015
Hi! Though your story hasn't been updated in about 7 years and you most likely have improved in your writing skills, I thought that you might be interested in hearing some feedback! I've just read the first chapter so the following is more of a first impression sort of thing.
One of my favourite rules when it comes to writing is 'Show don't tell'. Instead of outright saying "they are a teacher" show it though their actions. You could of had a scene from lets say Kari's perspective of her marking homework after school before she goes of to meet the digi-destined. This would make it obvious to the readers that she is a teacher without it having to be directly stated to them. Writing where in they are in the timelines and explaining that they are only just married but don't have kids yet in your directors notes is fine. But in the story itself the reader doesn't want to just be reading a bunch of dialogue and explanations.
On the note of explanations, I like that you used Gennai as he is often used though out the TV series as a source of info. However his explanation seems really tiring to get though because its just huge paragraphs. Try breaking it up by having the Digi-Destined question him about the information which would lead him to reveal more. It would also help with the overall flow of the scene and make it easier for the reader to read.
Finally you need to add more emotions into what they are saying. The reader doesn't just want to go through a thing of basically dialogue and thoughts. I think the best way to fix this is by picking a character and going from their perspective. In the last bit of the chapter it was good because you picked to go from Takuya's perspective and it really helped convey his feelings towards what was happening around him. The first half of the chapter really lacked in the emotion department and you can really see the difference.
Apart from that I am really interested to see where this story is going (even though there hasn't been an update in years). I hope that my review of your first chapter hasn't offended you. I didn't find any spelling mistakes or anything like that so bonus for that. When I get up to date with the fic I'll try to post a final thoughts review as well but don't be terribly surprised if I don't.
| Guest chapter 26 . 5/17/2015
Plzzzz update it has been years since u did so
| Ravenclaw Slytherin chapter 26 . 3/27/2015
I love your story! Update soon!
| DiaSphere chapter 26 . 2/15/2015
Hey there it was an awesome story till now, though it was an eternity until the two groups met and right there you stop! Not fair! I really wanted to now how it would continue. I hope you find it in you to continue it someday!
| Qyndox chapter 18 . 9/13/2014
Please I'm begging you, at least post the outline of how the rest of Children of the Legend goes if you decide to discontinue/cancel it! But I would love if you could write the rest of the story!
It was just getting to the good part with Zoe being captured!
:( :o :0
PLEASE UPDATE OR SOMETHING!?
| Ciradel the ChronicleWriter chapter 6 . 6/3/2014
This is a interesting story :) ...
Gennai has not a match against Ophanimon. LOL X)
| Guest chapter 26 . 6/1/2014
Please update this! I really like this story and it seems as if we're so close to the big battle and everything. Please update!
| AngeGirlmon chapter 26 . 3/31/2014
Nice story. Could use a little work but it is a good story. Keep updating. AngeGirlmon
| Jacqueline Landors chapter 26 . 1/18/2014
I hope that you add more chapters, I really would like to continue reading.
| strabimonx chapter 14 . 1/11/2014