Reviews for Dracula's Rant
Joker chapter 10 . 9/18/2005
Bravo! Though I am sad to see it end, and I am sorry that I did not review sooner. Great job, this was by far the funnest read there is!
folk chapter 10 . 9/1/2005
There is NO WAY that you only have 33 reviews...34 now...this is genius. Slightly cracked (haha not) genius. I love the novel Dracula and Van Helsing is an entertaining movie...a wonderful story is "Feature Commentary" by etherealfire, and I think this is even funnier. Wonderful story, and I'm sad to see it go; keep writing!

Yours,

Ivy (Folk)
The Cupboard and the Phantom chapter 10 . 9/1/2005
aw crap !

wish it ahdn't ended, just there..

ROFL ending tho, hahahaha !

cheers,babe, it was a wonderful laugh

-HAHA-
folk chapter 8 . 6/21/2005
“I can never get that seashell bra to fit, it’s been one of the most depressing things of my life.”

“Naw man. I think it looks better with a pink bow right there.”

Note: Contrary to what it might seem, the previous conversation was not in fact held by the Van Helsing gang that Anna and Dracula are searching for. It was a conversation selected at random from the average Disneygoer. Our characters are somewhere else. Here is their conversation:

“O Legos.”

“Wow is that a full size Darth Vader?”

“Sh fool! Do you want to get us all killed!”

“Hey Igor, look what happens when I push this.”

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS! I love the mindless (yet extremely well-written) insanity. And I would agree with you about sticking to the original if Dracula weren't so darn HOTT in the movie! As he says, and no I don't want to find the quote right now, "Hey, pal, if we stick to the book, I'm eighty-five with hairy palms and a unibrow." That is pure genius; I have really, REALLY enjoyed reading this fic. Thank you for writing this! Keep it up!

Ivy
Joker chapter 9 . 6/4/2005
This is so funny! My mom was really sick for about two months, and I would read this story to her and it would totally cheer her I would add that since I hadn't told you before. Up-date soon!
Loui Loeve chapter 9 . 6/4/2005
well, that was certainly weird... :O... yet, funny... i think... i was pretty much confused about nearly everything... and also to use the word "pants"! instead of Lucas' usual thang? didn't get that? does it mean like "May the Pants be with you!" ?
Ravynne chapter 8 . 5/29/2005
Your fan-fics are BRILLIANT! They're really funny! Me and my mates have been sitting here all week catching up to this one and have been laughing our heads off at it (pulls head back on and continues typing)You're an excellent writer so pleasy-pleasy-pleasy-please with extra sugar could you continue to write these!
Joker chapter 8 . 5/19/2005
KEL THEM AL! I have never read any thing this funny in my short meaningless life. Keep going, I am with you all the way! P.S. I have never been to Disney Land so this chapter was kind of emotional for me.
Russian vampire chapter 8 . 5/19/2005
Cool and witty story! I enjoyed it much!
Loui Loeve chapter 8 . 5/18/2005
oh, god, i'm crying tears of laughter! don't you DARE stop this.. oh, the humor! this... this is humor... even better... THIS... is MY kind of humor...
Aradia-hornbeam chapter 1 . 5/13/2005
lmao!

This is pure genius! I do feel for Drac I mean the guys master plan was "Have kids." what was so crush kill destroy about that?
etherealfire chapter 7 . 5/8/2005
OH...MY...GOD! This is HILARIOUS! And thanks btw for putting in the barmaid...lol I love this part: "Van Helsing’s brain groggily registers the fact that Dracula is a natural blonde. It is too much for his sanity."

Also: “Well it was written in gothic blackletter font and the ink is sorta reddish brownish and smells like alcohol. We’re running a DNA sample on it right now.” There is a slight pause, “It appears to be a man by the name of….Hubert Jackman.” etc. heehee I love this! It makes me feel kinda guilty for not updating my feature commentary fic...but right now my DVD player isn't working too well, I guess I could go without having every single line in there, but...yeah. Excellent, please keep it up!

etherealfire

p.s. I see what you mean about my Murdered 1462 fic...I looked up the family (before and after I wrote the thing) and it is a tad off (um...) but it was the best I could think of...yeah I'm glad you still like it though! I try to fit all my fics into "real" history.
Loui Loeve chapter 7 . 5/7/2005
Oh, goodie! it's hilarious, spimply hilarious! thank god, that you ain't quitting just yet... oh, and who the Cupboard is...? uhh... Raoul... because when i saw it the second time, i had my friend Elle with me and she didn't quite get how one is supposed to pronounce Raouls name, so she said "reolen" instead, which in danish means "The cupboard"... kinda... and well... i'm danish...
Joker chapter 7 . 5/7/2005
This is so good. You HAVE to write a book. No one could turn you down, you're like a JR. Mint!
etherealfire chapter 6 . 5/5/2005
“Hey look, if we go by the book, I’m eighty-five with a unibrow and hairy palms.”

LMAO AWESOME! This is such a crazy fic, it's so random, but I love it! :D Thank you so much for writing this! Keep it up! (suggestion: the barmaid. Hey, why not, right?)

etherealfire
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