|Reviews for Betrayed by an Insect|
| MissGoalie75 chapter 1 . 12/8/2009
hahah this was really amusing. but love your references _ and of course it was so cute!
| Ghostwriter chapter 1 . 4/17/2008
Very nice. Wonder who's POV this is? Don't matter though. Great job. Catch ya on the flip side.
| Dramione2008 chapter 1 . 2/4/2006
That was lovely! Bravo.
| oneoflifeslollopers chapter 1 . 4/14/2005
i really like the nervousness of this chapter, its really sweet...were you ever planning to write more?
i like the bit about the "he didn't know what's mother" it shows how insecure Jess is about the whole thing, and that he has no idea what to do. plus i like that it sort of acts as a deleted scene, in that it takes off where the show finishes. it's good :D
| swimchic2 chapter 1 . 3/13/2005
Christie, wow. I can't find the words. lol.
"A few of those morose and masculine moths."
I have never heard that...anything about moths. You've got butterflies, but moths? Never. That is so original. And Jess with moths... hee.
You've got them both down, quite well. This was fun to picture happening. ]
Great job, my dear.
*can't get over it*
Moths...aww, I love it!
| Ari must stop being too lazy to log in chapter 1 . 3/5/2005
I love this. I love this so, so much. It's wonderful. And the title is brilliant.
[[It's 2 am and I'm tired, so I hope this makes sense. *crosses fingers* :P]]
His plunder down the stairs leading to the diner was noisy and a bit uncharacteristic for Jess Mariano, but now routine and expected by his uncle and the regulars at the diner for the six-thirty shift. His freezing at the bottom of them, however, was not.
I love this first paragraph. Immediately draws you in; so well written. He usually goes down the stairs, this is normal...but wait. Something is amiss! Hee. And the way you phrased everything...it's perfect.
Now, the last time his blood had pounded this mercilessly in the part of his head above his ears was hard for him to remember.
Wonderful line. I love all your description, the way you hit on these tiny details that aren't generally thought of but are noticed; the "parts of description"...uh, like...the things you describe about certain things. The things you focus on when you talk about what Jess is thinking and feeling. It's so original and so awesome.
A few of those morose and masculine moths in his stomach went back to their respective intestines, or acid baths, or wherever they resided when nothing life-threatening was occurring.
And the whole idea of the moths in this...I LOVE it. Moths and Jess. I told you this was awesome, but: this is awesome. This is beyond awesome.
Oh, right. Again. Rory. Again. Rory, in front of Jess, again, saying “hi,” again. At this rate, Jess would be able to comprehend See Spot Run by August.
I adore this line. One of my favorites in this fic. I can't even explain why exactly...it's wonderful. The way you word everything.
“What’cha got there?” he asked, jerking his bare chin towards the paperback resting upon her binder.
“Oh. Amerika. For school,” she clarified.
“Brushing up on your German ink slingers,” his head found itself, again, in motion. “Always good.”
Their talking/banter is perfect here. What they say, and what you 'say' they're doing while they say it. "...jerking his bare chin towards the paperback resting upon her binder." These little things that make it so easy to picture this whole scene, the way you're writing it. And I love that you say "she clarified", there. Don't ask...you know I'm weird. But it's perfect.
They looked anywhere but at each other, until he cleared his throat, and she let out a nervous laugh.
“This…is a bit ridiculous.”
Again, the dialogue-so exactly Rory and Jess. And once again, the description of everything...I can't get over it.
The moths were back.
And the ending is, for lack of better description *points at clock!*...oh crap, I forgot what I was going to say. Huh.
Well. Still. The ending is just exactly what it "should" be. This whole idea...I love LTGB, I love the beginning of their relationship, I love all the different dynamics you can put with it. And this is one of the best. The moths! That's so damn cool!
You're *amazing*. And this is amazing, everything about it.
[ And where are you? ;) :( ]
Hope this - does make sense. Hee.
| smile1 chapter 1 . 2/15/2005
This is such an amazingly beautiful chapter; your way of wording things keeps me more than intrigued and I loved reading it.
Bye, smile :-)
| Marriz chapter 1 . 2/14/2005
| Wonderlandleighleigh chapter 1 . 2/14/2005
I think that this is fantastic.
This is so cute, and so good, and So...It's Jess with the moths, and I'm in love.
"Should he bump into her and knock the binder she was carrying out of her hands? Use a PG version of The Stretch? Sneeze, maybe, and see if she willed God upon him? Get Kirk to dress as one of those little dancing monkeys and grate for money? Pull said money out of her ear?"
Kirk as a monkey. Oh, the imagery. *giggles* That's a great line.
I think my favorite part is the kiss on the cheek...it was so cute, and SO Rory, and so something Jess isn't used to, and I love that the moths came back after that.
I'm gonna marry this fic.
| milover chapter 1 . 2/14/2005
keep it going
| otownroxx chapter 1 . 2/14/2005
| vintagequeen chapter 1 . 2/14/2005
Absolutely adorable. Loved this part especially:
"Oh, right. Again. Rory. Again. Rory, in front of Jess, again, saying “hi,” again. At this rate, Jess would be able to comprehend See Spot Run by August."
I was laughing the entire time- I wish you'd continue!