|Reviews for All the Best Stories|
| Riddick's Sita chapter 2 . 2/25/2009
Interesting take on Lajjun
| Saismaat chapter 12 . 2/24/2009
I like the words, but I found them confusing . .. why is she leaving now?
| Saismaat chapter 11 . 2/24/2009
Nice. I really liked:
"Riddick again. Always when I paused on the knife-edge he crept into my ears like a shadow. I was beginning to wonder if he was still a real flesh and blood thing or if I was chasing static.
Was I still chasing?
In my berth after lights out I lay in the dark, trying hard to focus on him. If i could just know again, the way I had in that merc bar, if I could get free of here...
Come find your bogey man and kill those nightmares once and for all."
Poor Kyra . . .
| Saismaat chapter 10 . 2/24/2009
"The mess hall was a cathedral hidden in the heart of Copernican. Nests of tunnels wound tightly around this mighty space so that it could stretch higher than most trees I'd seen."
that's a great scene setter. I also really liked "There were no words, but an operatic amount of food."
I did get a little lost - took me a while to figure out who the POV character was. Since we're reading these in pieces, maybe clue us in a little faster?
well done! glad to see you posting it again.
| Saismaat chapter 9 . 1/25/2009
His shoulders jigged and Snow put his palms out, taking my hands in his as the silent words poured.
That man you need – I promise you'll find him. You will have your ship and your quest, just no trouble for us.
"No, no trouble. I leave when the boat's ready. But if I've lost the trail..."
How could you lose anything with one of us looking?
Nicely done! Okay, I get the bolded stuff now. mind to mind.
She's on a quest. does that make Riddick the grail?
| Saismaat chapter 8 . 1/25/2009
What a treat! I loved “Become the vast deep of the ocean.” That just seems like Riddick to me. He who saw everything. He who saw the deep.
I like the idea of Kyra as a force of nature. A menacing force of nature. “I missed the pulse and flair of her nostrils, but felt a starburst sting as she laughed, "We'll have to get your real name then."
Why’s the last line bolded?
| Saismaat chapter 7 . 12/19/2008
”She’s naught a pup, Snow. I thought you was transportin’ a tiger or a tri-planet killer.”
My body was my own again, hands flying out in panic first for this old crow in front of me, then for the buckles that held me to the seat.
great place to end it! nicely paced.
| Saismaat chapter 4 . 12/19/2008
"I smiled. Even when I imagined what he said, it was always worth listening to. In the months since the run-in with Varney, Riddick spoke up more often in the back of my mind. He lived deep down near the base of my neck- talking to me when things were tight and knives were sharp. Some days I reckoned he was just over my shoulder, breathing that sharp, heavy breath and muttering vicious one-liners."
Washed shot glasses?
| Saismaat chapter 2 . 12/19/2008
"My hands were raw. I couldn’t touch anything without putting a red stamp where courtesy would be. We stood there a long minute till I jogged my shoulders and padded off into the dark."
that's a great last paragraph. Poor kid; internalizing the message that the monsters are her fault; becoming monsterous . . . nicely done.
| Saismaat chapter 1 . 12/19/2008
"The best anyone could ask of a killer who can smell the tender places to stab a knife."
that's a great line. Good job of showing Jack unhinging. The final period is missing.
| NightmareMonster chapter 6 . 11/14/2006
great story. update soon
| lamyka chapter 6 . 11/16/2005
this story definitly has potential, what happened? i feel sad that it's gone flatline. i hope you update.
| crematoriacon chapter 6 . 8/2/2005
Good work! I am hoping that this is where she meets up with the mercs that slave her youplease send future chaps to ? I wont be able to access for a while and i would like to continue reading. MORE PLEASE!
| K-Marie-M chapter 5 . 5/5/2005
Should be interesting if she ever finds riddick. Hope you update at some point because i would like to see where you are going with this story. And i love the way you write jack, i think you have really captured her.
| Onyx-Wildcat chapter 5 . 3/7/2005
Well now... I've every chapter till now and I find myself thirsting for more. I love it, different from others I've read. Can't wait to see what else you come up with. -Gives a wink and vanishes-