Reviews for My chains are Broken, a dark side story
JenesisX chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
If one is going to claim their fic is the best... they should at least proofread (populare?) and know how to break up a paragraph. Just saying... Also, a little modesty goes a long way. I also think it's a bit tacky when an author bumps their own review count by posting replies there.
Vir M chapter 1 . 10/5/2008
This isn't the most popular story any more, dude. Change your summary.
The Insanity chapter 2 . 8/25/2007
Sorry!I only saw the prologue! The rest is perfect! I'm so sorry!
The Insanity chapter 1 . 8/25/2007
G Reviews, Eh? Whatever. What I'd like to point out is that you have bad Grammar, the story goes too fast for me to follow, and I don't know why everybody likes this. Actually, I kinda liked it, so it's a little good... Maybe great, except for the spelling.
BlissfulChaos chapter 1 . 3/25/2007
Not to be mean or anything, but this wasn't that good. Your spelling and grammer needs a lot of improvement. Also, the story just doesn't make a whole lot of sense(especially the prologue.)

One more thing: There were several mistakes as far as area names go, but there was one that really stuck out-Aviloin? Wouldn't that be Albion?
SpazzChicken chapter 1 . 8/9/2006
Rather a lot of spelling/grammar errors. The prologue was in a big chunk that was hard to read because of that and just because it was hard to follow generally.

It kinda seemed like you didn't want to put in the time to think things through and just wrote something down that would kind of tie things together. But... there are other ways to make your character immortal than a magic well in the woods. Like donating to the Chapel or the Temple.
Pope-Man chapter 2 . 7/17/2006
You must be joking. The school's motto is almost a perfect duplicate of Knights of the Old Republic's Sith Code. Minor differences but that doesn't change the fact that that is the cheapest thing I've seen in a long time. Not only does this story not deliver in performance and what not, you're ripping off other games by putting their ideas into a completely different story. Yes this is fanfiction, but some originality is needed. I can't say this story deserves it's popularity.

-Dylan
X-X chapter 2 . 5/6/2006
"I have the guidebook so all the locations will be spelled correct." -You

"It was held outside Knolhole Glade" -You

Knolhole Glade Knothole Glade

...

XD
X-X chapter 1 . 5/6/2006
-

This...was hard to read. From both the spelling and the general... Random-ness.

"He found a magical well deep in the forest that would grant him eternal life."

Wow, he must've been really lucky to just find that. Totally out of nowhere, too.

Wow.

-End sarcasm-

-.-
Vyce Dryke chapter 1 . 3/12/2006
I'm going to mention the huge block of word that could be a couple of paragraphs. I took a quick glance at the next chapter and noticed it isn't happeneing there, so I'll be silent in that regard from now on.

One other thing. It's 'write' instead of 'right'. Which again may be fixed.
hmm chapter 3 . 11/12/2005
after your confident boasting in your story summary (and a few reviews to other authors), I really expected something better. Not only is this boring, but it has grammar errors, spelling errors, tense errors...ugh. really. if you're going to brag about your writing, at least live up to it.
ian chapter 2 . 11/12/2005
i think its a brilliant story and hope 2 be as good if not better in my writting, there is one thing however is the detail like u said at the begining it didnt have as much as i would hope but i look forward 2 reading 2 the other ones
Tayter chapter 8 . 8/21/2005
very good,I still have to read part 2,but u actually have come a long way sense u first started writing.
Sarah chapter 9 . 8/15/2005
well write soon, god i love this story! ... you do really write well
Jess chapter 4 . 8/15/2005
god you write amazingly! ... how did you get so good! and Family guy rules! lol
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