Reviews for Delaying Action
Dgraham chapter 1 . 11/10/2008
This a very good short story. I mean i never thought about what happened when bastila got captured! 5/5
Bamboo-Marimba chapter 1 . 6/2/2005
WEll written, PadawanMage!

Needs a few more chapters, though. :)
risokura chapter 1 . 2/25/2005
Uwee

You wrote a star wars kotor fic. Yay! I enjoyed reading it :-). Uh...you don't think you could continue it do ya? ::poke poke:: Pretty please...with sugar on top? Tee hee.
Prisoner 24601 chapter 1 . 2/23/2005
Nice work. I like the way you structured the story, hopping between Revan and Bastila, because it keeps the pacing of the whole piece clipping along. I also really liked the last line or the story, and if I didn't already know what was going to happen to her, I would be on the edge of my seat, wondering what is going to happen to the poor girl.
Arrow chapter 1 . 2/22/2005
It's nice to see this snipit, although it was a wee bit confusing because of being in a TSL mood to have the character named 'Mira' Snapshots from the game are always a nice read.
saltedbolts chapter 1 . 2/19/2005
The fic nicely fills the gap that, I thought, was rather missing from the game. I like how you've portrayed Bastila, and given Malak some semblance of depth that Bioware never deigned to give him, the poor man. The transitions between scenes, going from Bastila to Mira and back again, are well done - you know just the right points to end, and the right points to pick up in the next scene. The last line is particularly effective and just oh-so-perfect.

There're a few phrasings that I think could use some adjustment, and a minor complaint - too many exclamation marks. Now, I know that the situation is tense and fraught with peril, but it speaks for itself. I don't see Canderous shouting sentence after sentence that, one and all, ends with exclamation marks. Ditto for HK; his charm lies in the fact that he's so menacing in his psychopathic, even-voiced way. (Yes, I realize this is a strange nitpick, but for me, things like this matter. But it's probably just me. :))
Kendoka Girl chapter 1 . 2/19/2005
Very nicely done on the inner workings of the characters.

The scene with Malak and Bastila is quite chilling, especially this part -

The voice synthesizer still worked, but any trace of humanity that might have once been there, was now gone.

"You…will burn for that!"

Very well done.

Alice