Reviews for Eyes That See Into Infinity
mamanchat chapter 8 . 3/5/2005
Oh la, I'm horribly overdue with my review. Sorry.

First of all congratulations for having the courage to write in a foreign language. I'm not a writer myself, due to a lack of imagination. But even if I would suddenly feel inspired, I would still flinch from having my scribblings out in the open. I do see you struggle sometimes with the verbs. But I shouldn't be throwing stones (*grin*).

The story: you took some elements from the Alexander tradition and brought them together to narrate an episode in Alexander's life. You drew on the film ("Now you know!"), historical references (the shield of Achilles), and the tender complicity between young Alexander and Hephaistion echoes Renault's Fire From Heaven. (1) You wove al this together into a very plausible story.

It turns out to be a bit long because you have a very descriptive style. It never gets tedious. But it could gain some power if you were to try a more compact writing style. But on the whole: nice story. Hope to see more.

A little question concerning the end of chapter 2: are you sure that in the rather masochist Macedonian universe the king's son could have/would have displayed his personal feelings towards a classmate in public? He must have been very desperate.

(1) And would that be some 30STM that crept into your title?
TenshiOnna chapter 8 . 3/4/2005
That was really good. Actually the fight scene was really awesome. I liked it a lot. And the king was a bit gruff, but other than that he was good. I just am wondering what poor Alexander had to do during those six months he was gone all the time. Oh well. Anyways! Hooray for good stories!
Mara chapter 8 . 2/26/2005
I loved your story. it was simply perfect! *applauds*

annakas chapter 8 . 2/25/2005
*purr* Loved the story. Poor Hephastion didn't know where was Alexander for six months. And poor Alexander going through hell for six months.
Shiobhan chapter 8 . 2/25/2005
You did a wonderful job with this story and your English is great!

The story was just right, no too long post but not too short either. At least I think so.

Hm, I don't think Philip would have done anything like this. At least not in public. I could see him soing this, but then keep it all behind closed doors, cause, especially in those days, image was everything. If a King, or Prince for that matter, appeared weak in public, nobody would say anything, but nasty rumours would start, but if he is reprimanded in public, like you did with Alexander it could mean that he's not fit to rule and could be rejected later as heir to the throne. (Does this make sense?)

The only thing I didn't like about this story (just a minor thing) was what you did with Cassander. Of course I could see him do such a nasty thing like that. Totally his nature. But then later when all is well, he's suddenly caught and reprimanded by his father, while it seemed all the time that his cheating was a big public secret.

I hope this makes sense, it's late and my brain's not functioning properly. If you want you could send me a mail!
Julie chapter 8 . 2/24/2005
Beautiful story - write more stories soon!
TenshiOnna chapter 7 . 2/24/2005
Wai! I love Alexander and this is a wonderful story. *nods* I absolutely adore Hephaistion. This makes me wanna watch the movie again... Good job!
Julie chapter 6 . 2/23/2005
Oh how amazingly sweet :) You must write more!
Mara chapter 6 . 2/23/2005
What an awesome and incredibly sweet story. I hope you'll update again soon! D


Julie chapter 5 . 2/22/2005
Ohh I'm so excited you posted more! I really love this story - please update very soon :)
Tionsbabe chapter 5 . 2/22/2005
This is very good! You shouldn't worry about your English at all! You are quite proficient. The end of Chapter 3, 'The Fight that started it all' made me teary-eyed. I have to admit that your characterization of Phillip is much harsher than I've always seen him, but it totally works for your story, and allows the readers to empathize with young Alexander.

I am thoroughly enjoying this fic, and your portrayal of both Alexander, and Hephaestion. Oh, and I love Ptolemy as well. Can't wait to read more from you.

Shiobhan chapter 5 . 2/22/2005
OMG This is so good! You really know how to draw people in and your English is very good!

I didn't see you were from Belgium at first. I'm from the Netherlands!

Woa, you sure left us hanging there. Please post soon!
mamanchat chapter 1 . 2/22/2005
Yes, another Belgian! Flemish? Wallonian? (I'm F.)

I'll get back to you in a few days. I'm going out of town. I'll read you story and comment.
Shiobhan chapter 2 . 2/22/2005
Woa this story is amazing! I love it. Poor poor hephaestion and alexander and bad bad Cassander ;)

Can't wait for the rest!
Rothalion chapter 1 . 2/22/2005
Good start. Do not be so hard on your self. Let them have a bit of modern english but try to let them each have their own 'individual' voice. Just let them speak. They are who they are. Example: Hephaistion should not sound like Alexander. Little things can make those distinctions. The use of contractions and the lack of use of contractions. Anyway, writing is an evolving art so do not despair and keep at it. Your english is fine ,if only I had a second language you bi and tri lingual folks make me quite envious. Thanks for a good tale.
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