|Reviews for The Playwright|
| edwardfiend chapter 18 . 10/9/2013
| JDLuvaSQEE chapter 3 . 8/12/2009
YAY! JAMES AND SYLVIA! CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW! WOHO!
| OTS chapter 18 . 4/8/2007
Wonderful fanfiction! I spent at least an hour reading this, and I have to say, it was completely worth it! I've only seen a few parts of Finding Neverland, and long to see the whole movie. Unfortuantely, I can't becuase my parents are disinclined to let me buy any more items for quite some times. If you wouldn't mind, I was wondering if you could explain to me the affair that James had with Mary. Thanks, and bravo on writing this great fanfiction!
| Angel of Autumn chapter 5 . 8/3/2006
I absolute love this story for so far! It is very well-written, and the games you included are just wonderful! I guess you've heard of me_loves_orli (I saw your review on "I have been to paradise", actually) but she gave me the link to your story Anyway, I'll go and read the next chapters now!
| C.N. Moony chapter 18 . 6/14/2006
BRAVO! I absolutely LOVED this story! Great ending!
| C.N. Moony chapter 2 . 6/12/2006
i love this story so far! the games are wonderfully written and the transitions are wonderful! bravo!
| cornflakesnobowl chapter 13 . 4/4/2006
aw, nice gift fom Charles - a book that's one of a kind. so true about lil kids not knowing how to lie. sometimes that fact makes them unknowingly blunt.
| cornflakesnobowl chapter 9 . 4/1/2006
i'm sure you already know things such as this but i broke off mid paragraph in this chapter to read this article: : / / w w w . / - 0 0 1 - . h t m - It's about the Barrie/Davies tragedy respectfully, and most of the stuff I did not know and am reluctantly glad i know now. that article really bummed me out, but that is life... not Neverland. it gave me a whole 'nother perspective coming back to finish this chapter, i wish i didn't read the article and let this story be the history reference. eh, my mood is whatever this story's mood is while reading it, just so ya know i thought the horse racing bit was quite humorous.
you're a talented writer. good job.
| cornflakesnobowl chapter 8 . 4/1/2006
very sweet story. it's got the same feel as the movie IMO... i've only watched the Disney Peter Pan and seen "Finding Neverland" so it was very interesting to read the BarrieFacts! thanks for that.
i stopped reading this story for a while but i'm glad i returned, it is ver heart-warming.
| Lua under water chapter 1 . 11/20/2005
what lovely work!
thanks for the review ( i just now looked at it... as you can tell, i'm rarely at ffdotnet these days). it really caught my eye and i decided to read your story. and it's brilliant! i'll read the rest of it later, but even this one chapter is lovely, excellent work. you're definitely one of the best writers here. i don't keep up with fanfiction much anymore, but i'm so glad to have found such a beautiful little story in the FN fandom :-)
and i'm certainly glad you enjoyed my story. it's been nearly a year since i wrote it so technically it's some of my "early work" but since i don't write much fanfiction at all these days, it's something i'm proud of. so thanks for the review. i love to be appreciated by authors who are really quite talented.
have a lovely day.
| dragonrider145 chapter 9 . 10/17/2005
very good writing is there only nine chapters Can not wait to read more. Its reaaly good. I love this story.
once more love the thing about the horses. I am very tried. I read more later. I love this story!
| Ermite chapter 18 . 10/16/2005
This is my last review.
It's easier to read with hard copy, and I have it here with me. I am someplace outdoors. I have an iron patio table with a green parasol and a cup of coffee growing cold. There is abundant life around me, and I've trying to tune into it.
The seasons turn, and I accept and trust it. Along the narrow, meandering road some leaves even now fluoresce red and gold. I see a high ridgeline of pines. It is a warm day, but there is little shade. I think I hear a cicada to my left, some birds chatter in the trees, and a cheeky bluejay hopped in and then flew away again. It is peaceful here.
It's perfect for reading.
You've mentioned you want to write more than anything. For I've wondered what sort of stories you would write? Do you want to write commerical or literary fiction, and do you understand the difference? Once again, look to your teachers.
I knew you must've researched those issues. And I understand the the conflicting dates. That's authorship.
In 17, I don't sense closure but rather rapprochement. Am I wrong again? It seems to make sense to me, because the story of JMB doesn't end here or with a happily ever after, of course. Ah, but you intend to close with the audience with Epilogue. There, I particularly enjoyed Peter's crow. Very nice touch and insightful considering the resentment he had with the PP connection. The incident with James Barrie talking to the graves is right on. It seems perfectly in character with him, as I understand it. I think it is what he would do.
Suggested dialogue: Peter encounters James takling to the graves (or the spirits of Emma and Sylvia):
"Morning Peter," he said. "Join us?"
Peter said, "If it won't crowd you."
Imagine how the boy might say it, the tone of voice, what he'd mean by it.
It was a nice ending at the close of Epilogue, of Peter as muse. I think that's as correct as it gets, only I think it applies to all the boys. Probably George first. I believe Peter was chosen only for the alliteration of his name with Pan. But that's just my conjecture.
Maybe I'm forgetting or missing something. Maybe I'm just clueless and didn't get it. Didn't understand what you wanted from my reviews. If so, it's not the first time, and I hope you don't mind. I'm trying to be helpful, not aggressive, challenging or antagonistic. I was trying to offer well-rounded opinion. I did not mean to make you feel defensive. Your writing shows real evidence of work and the struggle to do the best you can do. I believe you did a good job. I hope I have been helpful, for this is the last time I shall do it.
Tuning in to the life around here is spiritual for me and means more than raising awareness like an antenna. I'm trying to sense or feel the life, join with it, in a way that lances my consciousness. If you've read any of my fanfic, I hope you might have seen that expressed. If not, that's okay. Few have read it. I have come to believe, however, that fanfic is inappropriate for that purpose.
The path of my journey lies elsewhere.
Now, as Peter Pan might say, I have to fly.
| Ermite chapter 16 . 10/15/2005
So someone else caught the Father Christmas notion? Good. Great minds think alike.
I’m looking over the notes I’ve scribbled on the print out of 16. I’m afraid it didn’t make me cry. I’ve been a caregiver 5 times and I’m done with crying. Hopefully, you’ll never have to do it. In my experience, heart patients aren’t always so calm about it, but it can be a matter of personality, too. I’ve encountered both in my journeys, and only once in my family. It’s conceivable that Emma could be as described. I know you go the extra step in research. So, perhaps you know best.
In the flashback, I’m not buying the doctor, exactly. “Would you like to see?’ doesn’t sound right to me. Nor does the description of Barrie in Sylvia’s hospital room prior to the nurses preparing her post mortem. I know it’s more dramatic this way, so it’s just me being picky.
It looks like you took the Peter Pan excerpt from the novel, which hadn’t been written yet. Am I wrong? Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to use the play? Though to be correct, it would have to be the play as it existed in 1905, and I don’t think that version still exists. I could be wrong, though. However, the use of the Tink and the poisoned medicine scene seems right to me, for if only it were as simple as chanting something like a magic spell to bring someone back from the brink of death. Carrying the scene to that point, with Barrie’s reflection on it, might not be a bad thing to play with. Perhaps a motif or recurring metaphor?
I realize you want to revise “The Playwright”, and that is up to you, of course. I’m considering revising one of mine, but I’m undecided and may just leave it alone. Any changes I would make probably would not be very significant in the overall scheme. If you think that you could really improve your story to the point where it can’t be improved any more, then maybe you should. If one considers fanfic as an ersatz school of writing, and if one has a good following of fans that will stick with you for the revision, then maybe you should re-work it to your satisfaction (not theirs). Consider the project a proving ground for the great works to come.
I know writers are inspired (or repelled) by the real world and (as another teacher said) struggle to make order out of the chaos. I think that’s what fiction does. I hope you will use the real world as you encounter it and lock a good half-Nelson around it and pin it to the pages of a novel with remarkable characters. The story will take care of itself.
In my own case, I'm still searching.
Now, I had a memorable character for a story lurking around here somewhere, but I think I’ve misplaced it . . .
| Ermite chapter 15 . 10/14/2005
Ho Ho, you've introduced the lost boys. Nice touch. The Davies boys playing at Lost Boys.
Things are turning up nicely.
| Ermite chapter 14 . 10/14/2005
In searching for authors to meet, don't forget they often appear at book signings in stores or lectures or master classes. Sometimes they actually teach in local schools.
Authors are not seasonal animals that appear only in the spring after a long winter's nap. They have to get up very early in the morning and run as fast as they can or they will be eaten.
I've met a few of them.
for 14, this sounds like the movie a bit, the crush of time between personal concerns and getting the play rehearsed. Only in the movie, James was torn in 3 directions, his marriage, the play, and Sylvia. You've kept this nice and simple. I continue to like the way you know your characters (at least as revealed in the movie) and can express that in their dialogue, like Frohman. Deeper characters like Emma, James and Peter may be more challenging.