Reviews for The Beginning
Act chapter 1 . 2/26/2005
Ah! My review got totally cut off ;_;. I don't even remember what I wrote. Darnit, this is why I like the forums.

Sorry it doesn't make much sense.
Act chapter 1 . 2/26/2005
Hey-lo. Well, Im doing this as I'm reading it, so you'll have my analysis at the end...

-The pavements were littered with smoke wafting out of cracks.

-Unless there were little pieces of pavement all around, it should be singular.

-plaintively sharing the same headline it had for many years

-I'm not sure about the make-sense value of this. They're had the same headline for many years? Those people at the prtinting press aren't really doing their job...

-He felt he was walking towards the end of the world.

-I like that sentence

-until time had a limit to itself.

-hn... I think you might have meant *s still open, not the store. If you put store between the and worn and tacked in a comma, it would be fine.

Actually, I really liked this. You had the same, sole problem you usually do in some questionable sentence structure and word usage, but there was meaning to this and it evoked a feeling, hopefully the one you wanted I think I'll definitely read your one-shots from now on.
Soft Flame Matthias chapter 1 . 2/25/2005
Hmm... Intruiging... I' Like to see more. The beginning eh? Please up date soon

P.S. I'd appreciate it you came and read my first fic "Keeping Memories" now in it's 8th chapter and quicly apoaching the end.