|Reviews for First Everything|
| Empress Tatiana chapter 8 . 10/28/2014
so good yeeeees!
| Strawhat-Pirate-Nakama chapter 9 . 6/10/2014
i loved it best narugaa i have read so far
| waywardgal chapter 9 . 8/19/2013
That was a good story. I like how you grew as a writer as the later chapters were put out. You are good.
| Nocturnal-Silver-Wolf chapter 9 . 7/11/2013
Awww That's so cute!
I like how Gaara was infatuated with Naruto...
But personally I would think that Gaara would be topping... lol
Still this was an awesome fic :)
| Magical Mistress Sarai chapter 9 . 1/27/2013
So after getting your email, I'll keep it brief.
Parts of the story were endearing, other parts felt rushed and the pacing was off. I felt as if the romance portion between Gaara and Naruto was never truly earned. I know, I know, many writers and readers view Naruto's speech to Gaara after they fought to be a decent starting point, because it did cause Gaara to change. I don't know... I've always felt that they would still have to work for the actual romance. Gaara isn't the kind of person who understands those things. He's feelings would confuse the hell out of him.
That fight they had in the apartment, that is what I see happening A LOT. I also have a hard time seeing either boy be seme or uke. I guess, because I spend SO MUCH TIME around members of the gay community, the whole seme or uke thing just seems to stereotypical and wrong. Most gay couples tend to switch up the sex life. They date each other to be equals, which means that since they are both men... well they should both get a chance to do the screwing. Personal preference on my part I guess, but I just don't see either of them willing to be so submissive.
Since you wrote this story so long ago, I'm certain you know that there are some minor gramatical errors, along with some circular discriptives. If you were to go back and edit the chaptesr you could probably catch most of it.
Again, I would also say that this story could probably use a re-write, if you were considering it. You could strengthen the characterizations, rework some of the plot's pacing issues (it is a little rushed), and put in some more development to justify the romance, especially since there is very little conflict in your story. Conflict is the driving force behind any narrative, and the biggest conflict you had here was their personalities.
Well, while that is nice, Neji could have been utilized a little bit better. The biggest issue was Naruto's appearance of being a "whore". Really? Four people? Yes, Gaara would be a little shocked to find this out, but that's not a major source of conflict. Neji would have been a better source for a relationship defining conflict. Especially when you ended your story with Naruto being such an asshole and still oogling Neji because he's handsome? Really? *shakes head* Gaara should have killed him.
Which brings me to my final point. Gaara, for all of his anger and projected strength, was surprisingly weak in your story. I don't know why but I had issue with it throughout reading it. Naruto was so feminine, yet he ended up dominant; Gaara was so brash and demanding, but he did very little except cry and look weak. It was difficult for me, because these things made both men seem quite OOC. The whole allure of the GaaNaru relationship is that they are equals, reflections, they understand each other in a way that no one else could.
All in all, I can see how this was an older fic and you were getting your legs as a writer. It's not the best story, but it was an enjoyable read for what it was. If you ever decide to revise it, or it you write another GaaNaru story, let me know. I'm a big fan of this pairing.
| Magical Mistress Sarai chapter 1 . 1/27/2013
A... very interesting start to your story. I don't know if Naruto would be so brazen when he first meets Gaara again, but I'll roll with it for now. I'll save a majority of my critique for once I finish yourself, but I didn't want to forget my initial apprehension. It just seems a little OOC for Naruto to be the one who moved so fast.
| Silver Masquerades chapter 7 . 8/31/2012
This was made awhile back but I love the story so far.
I was a bit irritated with how often you mad Shikamaru stutter because that is just really out of his character. lol
But other then that the storyline is interesting and very good. .w.
| aksdlhfklsd chapter 9 . 5/24/2011
This was definitely a different approach to this couple, but I liked it. You described Gaara's emotions well and the story progressed at a good pace. I love the way you write, and you did a great job with this story. :)
| Paty-chan chapter 9 . 3/19/2011
what a cute end for the fic. I really like it. *-*
Naruto and Gaara worked so perfectly together... awesome fic!
| Paty-chan chapter 8 . 3/19/2011
what an awesome chapter! their sex scene was so beatiful and hot at the same time... their confession of love, just perfect.
| Paty-chan chapter 7 . 3/19/2011
Shikamaru is awesome, I really like him, he's such a nice guy... :D
and I hope Gaara undestands that Naruto loves him, and Neji was just a flirt.
| Paty-chan chapter 6 . 3/19/2011
I just can't believe it! Neji was the seme and Naruto the uke? wow, that's something unexpected. how Gaara will deal with it?
| Paty-chan chapter 5 . 3/19/2011
their fight was very sensual, I don't know why. I imagine them having sex in a very dirt-bleeding-and-rough way... that's so hot!
| Paty-chan chapter 4 . 3/19/2011
that blowjob scene was fucking hot! you really made it so real and with so many details... don't be shy about it.
| Paty-chan chapter 3 . 3/19/2011
LOL! Gaara and Naruto wasted was so funny! Both completly drunked and talking nonsense stuff...