i know, it's been pulled from theaters around me too! i really like your story. update soon, please!

I hope you don't mind me doing a little editing on the review page:

"quite innocence" do you mean quiet?

"No one would ever know what it was like to look through these haunted eyes." I think the these should be those...course I have no idea if grammatically it even matters, the these just seems out of place to me.

"at her taken her position" do you mean taking?

"he felt a man slip from his lips," I'm pretty positive you mean name cause otherwise...that's just weird.

So, see? I re-read the updated version! Yay for Coral and her stories_

Hey, Cor, if you're gonna have one of those "things up there" i.e. where the author's note goes, you gotta have an amusing disclaimer! I mean, you just gotta! Anyway, I'm not completely positive you should've split up the chapter, and I haven't gone back through again...this is sorta based on the first draft I read But I think its interesting that you're doing AU, I don't recall you generally doing that, but make sure it stays AU and not self-insert! Anyway, you know I think you could grow up and be a great author, why not show off your writing skills on ?

so far your story looks very promising. I await the next update eargerly!