|Reviews for The Incredibles vs The Eviles I|
| OblivionIsOnlyInevitable chapter 3 . 3/30/2014
...omg the incredibles were so lame, nothing compared to Sean who was all showy and great!:) but I really hope Violet isn't weak like those ninjas had said, because that's just going to pis$ me off.
| OblivionIsOnlyInevitable chapter 2 . 3/30/2014
When I think of Sean, I think of the sexy guy that acts for cyclops, and he just makes me drool of how sexy he is.x)
| OblivionIsOnlyInevitable chapter 1 . 3/30/2014
Is this a romance?:)
| trexslee chapter 22 . 1/3/2014
I would also like to see a fanfic of bob and helen rejecting, disowning and hating violet and dash after they wouldn't let them apologize, attacked them, and wouldn't forgive them, Then bob and helen won't forgive dash and violet back by biting them.
| Annabeth chase101 chapter 15 . 7/20/2013
AWWWWW! Love the fluffy romance moments!
| Doctorre chapter 1 . 10/12/2010
I'm sorry...but the similarities between Wolverine and Cyclops in chapter one are just too much for me to approve of...
| cougartail91 chapter 32 . 3/6/2010
this is an excellentay story my friend keep up the good work.
| nemesis chapter 7 . 12/27/2007
you cannot spell. you have horrible plot lines. you miss grammar rules. you use tenses wrong. you never describe enough and when you do its all in one big sentence. the story's tedious. and the romance between sean and vi? ew! i mean, they are cousins!
| Chaos chapter 3 . 12/31/2006
Chapter 3 was filled with action... but not enough of it. You need to describe more, how did Elastigirl get tied up? "Elastigirl swings her arm up to a lamp post, thrusting her momentum into a group of ninja, forcing them to stumble backward and fall to the ground. She pulls her legs back to their normal size, dropping to the ground, running toward another set of ninja catching up to her super-sped son. Elastigirl's face falls to the ground, bouncing off of the pavement. She looks around in confusing, a ninja begins knotting up her very much elastic foot around the telephone pole. Elastigirl struggles with the ninja, unsure of where he came from, how he grabbed her foot or even how he is making it remain elastic around this pole."
You have to remember, Elastigirl's stretchiness only works when she wants it to (Otherwise how would she get herself to go back to normal, or stretch her arms out with no one pulling on them?)
I'm not exactly sure why everyone started passing out for no reason. Was there some kind of drug in the air or something? Not sure, because you don't just pass out when someone ties you up... Perhaps you could say that the ninja threw a rope or something around dash's feet and he stumbled and rolled for a few blocks, being knocked out by the force of his head hitting the ground at that speed (ignoring the fact that that would probably kill him)
The final bit with sean fighting the samurai... Have you ever seen that indiana jones scene, where this one guy wants to fight Indiana, and they are standing, facing eachother with whips in hand, the guy starts showing off making all these nifty moves and motions with the whip, he's a real expert... Then Indiana reaches down and grabs his gun and shoots the guy?
SEAN HAS LASER EYES! why didn't he just shoot the guy?
Also: Watch your past/present tense. It seems to be getting worse as the chapters go on.
| Chaos chapter 2 . 12/31/2006
Chapter 2 seems ok. The rip off from X-men is now 2-fold with the cyclops visor. Might want to consider doing something similar but original. Say, the button on the glasses make the lenses become completely transparent so that his laser eyes will go through them, or even that he has complete control over his laser eyes, unlike cyclops, something like that. Maybe his claws aren't from his fists, maybe they're huge blades coming from his upper arm, or he has really sharp nails.
Also: Remember to keep an eye out on those tenses, the switching between present and past is more frequent than last chapter.
| Chaos chapter 1 . 12/31/2006
Good story as of chapter one. The hook came a *little* late (Best to put in the first or second paragraph), perhaps you could have had the yelling outside, then having Bob go out to greet Sean while having the kids argue with their mom. As for the intro paragraph, that could have come up in dialog "But mom, ever since we got this new home after that thing with the _underminer_..." that kind of stuff.
I also noticed some trouble with you changing the tenses of the story, first we are in present tense, then we are in past. I was never fond of present tense, but it's better than future tense. It's not a problem except that you need to watch those past tense verbs.
| SEA620 chapter 1 . 8/4/2006
Finally! I finished reading the story. It was good, but at some parts, it felt like the story was just dragging. I like all the action AND romance you put in the story! Just my type :D. I'm off to the next one!
| AmeliaHawkins chapter 32 . 6/15/2006
A real rush of action! :) Good job!
| BeautyofGrace chapter 31 . 5/29/2006
... wouldn't Valagor have gone to hell?
| BeautyofGrace chapter 30 . 4/30/2006
yay! go dash! go dash!