Reviews for The Forfeit Daughter
BaskervilleBeauty chapter 7 . 3/15/2005
"Pieces, which had they had teeth, would have surely bitten me on the nose, so close to it were they!" Mwahahaha! Love it love it love it!

Ah, so it is the sneaky secretary! I can't wait to see how this business plays out! (I feel certain there will be much Victorian sexual tension)
BaskervilleBeauty chapter 6 . 3/13/2005
Thank you for those notes. I understand now.

This chapter was beautifully written. I like to think that if JB had read this, he would have been inspired himself.

So, if Holmes is confident, then some pieces of the puzzle have fallen into place!
BaskervilleBeauty chapter 5 . 3/12/2005
I see you follow Baring-Gould quite closely - stayed an actor, indeed! And I think that little domestic quarrel is the best sign that the Thurlows are not high society. A well-bred gentleman would not ever have concerned himself with the day-to-day running affairs of the house, and no lady would have made sucha scene in public. I'm sorry, but if they have telephones at Claridges, but Mrs Thurlow wears a crinoline, what time period is this?

I wonder what Holmes was 'researching'?

You know, i wouldn't be surprised if Mrs Thurlow had something to do with this. But of course, you two are much better writers than to suggest that she wanted to kill Mr Thurlow because she was having an affair with the secretary, or even the Rajah!
J. A. Lowell chapter 5 . 3/11/2005
Hi. This is a good piece, I love the way you've captured the absolute essence of Holmes - he's witty, he's occasionally callous, he's domineering, and he's sometimes cold and almost mechanical. You are obviously an adherent to the Canon. Indeed, I've noted a number of excellent little touches. Too much fun... Gotta love this stuff, such an excellent method of procrastination.

BTW, I've noticed that you've been very careful with your depictions of Victorian London, even more than culling turns of expression from the Canon. And, my goodness, did you research London streets? Even if the answer's negative, I'm impressed by how well you pull it off. ;-)

One wee bit of critique though, just because I try not to post unless I have something constructive to say; yes, this is a flimsy excuse for "constructive"... You've been very particular in maintaining an aura of authenticity in this writing, yet I noted in Chapter One that you gave Holmes "hazel" eyes. I seem to recall the good doctor describing his eyes as grey in STUD. But, oh well, we must all take liberties, mustn't we? In your defense, I suppose hazel might occasionally look grey.

Oh, don't mind me. It's excellent writing, it's a compelling story, and I've got to get back to work.

-JAL
Hermione Holmes chapter 4 . 3/11/2005
Wonderful chapter- I loved the interaction between father and daughter. You've handled it nicely, making it dramatic but not exaggeratedly so. Really great and, of course, your style is exquisite. Very nicely done- Update soon!
BaskervilleBeauty chapter 4 . 3/10/2005
Hold on, didn't you write in an earlier chapter that the first Mrs Thurlow had eight miscarriages? No matter. I thought this struck the right emotional chord. Plenty of angst, but not maudlin.
BaskervilleBeauty chapter 3 . 3/8/2005
"Holmes returned her gaze with a softness not often seen in his hawkish, hazel eyes. There was nothing as condescending as pity there, merely a strange personal sort of understanding at the depths to which depression could drive a human being and something that looked like encouragement...even though the chances of it reaching her were slim." Yes, I see the Jeremy Brett connection now. Will we learn more about why Ellen Thurlow is such an angry, bitter woman and why the boys fear her so?
Hermione Holmes chapter 3 . 3/8/2005
Another fabulous chapter. I loved the character interactions in this part- they were really well done. The twins are so cute- they remind me of the Darling boys in Peter Pan. The second Mrs. Thurlow is also well portrayed and I like how this has brought on another facet to Mr. Thurlow. This plot is also getting more suspenseful and your style is great- can't wait for more!
BaskervilleBeauty chapter 2 . 3/6/2005
Holmes is positively Macchiavellian here. Would he be quite so rude to a woman? I always got the impression that he could be rather chauvinistic in the privacy of his home (and thoughts) but rather charming to women in general. He may dismiss them as intellectual equals, but that does not mean he does not respect them.

I love love love your Watson, though. He is as kind, generous, and fair-minded as ever.

Can't wait to meet the first Mrs Thurlow.
Hermione Holmes chapter 2 . 3/6/2005
Excellent story you've got here. It is well written and maintained, and you've got the characters down pat. I like this rendition of Holmes and Watson, although I don't see much of a Brett and Hardwicke influence here. Miss Thurlow is fascinating, as was the exchange between her and Holmes in the cab- well done. There is so much nuance and detail here that it really helps with the story. The plot is also very intriguing and, as loathsome as Mr. Thurlow is, I think you've got him down so he is not one dimensional. In fact, none of the characters here are one dimensional. Great job, great style, and I hope to read more soon!
BaskervilleBeauty chapter 1 . 3/5/2005
You know, from the tone of this story, I would have dedicated it to Edward Hardwicke rather than Jeremy Brett. You've done a wonderful job of characterisation and your attention to detail is remarkable. I can't wait for more.
Melwasul chapter 1 . 3/5/2005
This story is very well written and as far as I know true to the canon. I hope to read more soon! )
valis2 chapter 1 . 3/4/2005
An interesting beginning! The Indian legends are used well here. Intriguing.
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