Reviews for The Soma Distribution
Texty Monster Halcyon chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
Well, it's pretty well written. The spelling, grammar, and tone of voice are all pretty good. I also like the fact that Anita reverted back to type just as she was on the cusp of a revelation. If she hadn't, it might have been a little cliche.

Like the other reviewers, I too feel like Anita was too intelligent. This might bight be the case simply because there's no clear separation between your intelligent narrative voice and her thoughts. It bleeds together, and it could be fixed if you're a little more definitive of where Anita stops and you begin.

And yes, Anita does seem to be a little opulent. I would replace some of the sumptuous texture words with ones that are a little more modest (ex: cotton or muslin, as opposed to silk). And the wine itself doesn't seem to add anything, so I think it's safe to change that to something more canon appropriate.

Overall, It's a good, solid submission. Just fix up some of the canon inconsistencies and this will be right as rain.

Happy writing! :)

-Texty Monster

-Critics United
Isotope-238 chapter 1 . 10/22/2009
You are definitely a good writer. I enjoyed Anita's struggle between new thoughts and indoctrination: very engaging. I was rooting for her the whole time. However, I must agree with some of my fellow readers that Anita is more individualistic and intelligent than Delta's wont. I'm not complaining about the artistic liberty you took, just commenting.
Jen chapter 1 . 2/9/2009
This is probably the best Brave New World fic I've read yet - possibly even the best fic period. In the novel, we only ever see into the minds of the one-of-a-kind Alphas and Betas. I've always really wanted to read a story about one of those scores of twins in the lower castes, where "individual" is a loosely defined term. Your fic did it for me. The only gripe I have is the thing about the wine - in the civilised world, people no longer ever drink alcohol. I guess the fact that she is drinking alone is slightly important, but you definitely could have gotten rid of this particular piece of non-canonic-ism without detrimental effect. After all, it probably would be unusual that she was doing *anything* alone.
sdgfgfejgfuehrf chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
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Chibi's Sister chapter 1 . 2/5/2007
It was interesting, and you had a good hold on Huxely's style. However, I agree with the reviewers that said Anita was too intelligent. Lenina, a Beta, slightly individual in her thoughts even before John's arrival, and who spent a great deal of time with him, not just a passing interaction, never reached that level of introspection. I seriously doubt a Delta would be capable of that level of thought, especially with so little reason.

Also, the use of wine really stuck out to me. You didn't descibe it as "wine-surrogate" (as there is champagne-surrogate), and you described it as "fine", indictating it has vintage. But it's made clear on multiple occasions there is no alcohol in the Brave New World.

Also, Anita seemed quite wealthy for a Delta, and she seemed to have quite the social life. Wouldn't clubs be only for the upper class?

It's a nice concept, and the writing is good. But you should be more careful about the details of worlds you use.
The Cannibal God chapter 1 . 10/12/2006
I agree that her thoughts seem rather complex for a Delta... However, I also think that they might not have been, considering the situation. Considering that she had not taken soma and was thus starting to go into an emotional state, I think that is would have been possible for her too have some free thoughts, especially if she was one of those particularly strong-willed people. All-in-all, it was good. Nice vocabulary. ;-)
M.S. Dae chapter 1 . 6/3/2006
That was amazing. A perfect situation, great battle of personal thoughts, I loved it! The book itself is amazing, I'm glad I found such a wonderful fanfiction for it, wonderful job :)
Mizamour chapter 1 . 4/5/2006
I just read this book and love it! Great perspective to write from! There should be more Huxley fics... not enough out there!
felix-hortensio chapter 1 . 2/27/2006
I'm with Malkloc. Your Delta is smarter than Huxley's Betas. Frankly, I don't think a Delta would be capable of questioning anything, let alone soma.
kat-tak chapter 1 . 8/15/2005
I found this story to be quite believable, keeping in the style and ideas of the book. Good job :)
Smeowyn chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
I really enjoyed this fic. Although Deltas are supposedly dull, I like that Anita was capable of individual thought, at least for a little while. Really brings up the Nature vs. Nurture debate, it does. This fic made my day. Thanks!
destroying tokyo chapter 1 . 7/25/2005
It was nicely written but I believe that you made the thought patterns of the delta too complex. Deltas are supposed to be...well...stupid, and the vocabulary you gave Anita was a bit too big for stupid. Actually, the Beta females didn't seem quite as smart as your Delta in this fic.

Other than that, well done.
kesterel2106 chapter 1 . 5/17/2005
Ive just started reading this in class and I could barely tell the original from your story! Maybe her contemplating individuality was a bit much but other than that it wass great.

Is there any more?
Crystal chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
I just wanted you to know, I really enjoyed this piece. It's very well done and I think that you did an excellent job imitating Huxley's work. I hope you got an A.
littlevictories chapter 1 . 4/10/2005
I liked this story a lot. The same "Delta's can't think that" thought came to me as well, however a Delta isn't an Epsalon, (wow I butchered that spelling) and the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. Your story gave Deltas a personality, something that they had been lacking due to the soma saturation. You showed us the haunting thoughts behind the Delta, and the addiction to the perfect drug.

I loved your vocabulary ... you hardly ever used an adjective twice. Bravo!

Jesse

(ps- Thanks for the review)
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