|Reviews for The Nightmare|
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/17/2017
Don't bother names but could you continue the story? That be wonderful.
| Itzel-Kyra chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
I loved it, is a beautiful oneshot
| lkasjd chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
I loved this! I loved Corin's teasing of Cor, and Cor's eagerness to get married in the middle of the night! It was a wonderful story!
| Avia Tantella Scott chapter 1 . 9/29/2010
Aw, this was really cute! Well done... even if this review does come half a decade after the fic was posted :)
| songhamitra backstreet chapter 1 . 6/7/2010
i really like it!
| Link Fangirl01 chapter 1 . 3/9/2009
you just HAD to make it a oneshot didn't you? -chews lip- Dang. Y'know why? CAUSE IT'S REALLY REALLY GOOD! What amazing fluff! -eats fluff- m, delish. XD
| flicker-flare chapter 1 . 2/12/2009
Oh, how lovely! You have a gift for dialogue - I loved Cor and Corin's conversation.
| Follower of Aslan chapter 1 . 11/21/2008
“What’s this? Our future king keeps bottles of liquor in his room?”she teased.
“My dear, I am shocked you should question my morals. As you said, I am the future king! The survival of this country depends on my abilities to govern it properly. Of course there is a bottle of liquor in my room.”
CLASSIC! That was my fav line...well done!
| justwalkingdown chapter 1 . 11/19/2008
This story amde me laugh and i loved the fluffyness! Ausome story!
- Fairy )
| DreamMakersMagic chapter 1 . 9/25/2008
lol that's hlarious i love it keepwriting
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
I'm drownig in cheese! ;)
but for the most part, I love that - Cor declaration of love was absoulutly horribe, but the rest was wonderful.
I didn't thing it was THAT OOC, & I'm picky w/ that.
yay for an actual romance w/ my fav Narnia couple (besides either of the pevisie boys me, that is, though I'm am partial to Ed)
also one more thing I couldn't resist commenting on...
though I dislike slash & incest because they're against cannon, I FIRMLY don't believe they're "wrong" - just not my cup of tea. I respect you beliefs, but from a atheist who loves Narnia as wonderful children's stories, please respect mine.
now that that's through, I do think you are a wonderful writer!
| Danni Evans chapter 1 . 6/8/2008
"And his grandson, at the rate you're going." My favourite line!
I actually quite enjoyed this, and don't think it's particularly OOC at all. I mean, Aravis and Cor have grown up a fair bit by this point, and because they're the sort of people to do things in outbursts (whether arguing or otherwise), it seems to fit somehow. And everyone has their weak moments...
There aren't nearly enough Aravis/Cor stories out there; I know you're busy, but I'd like to encourage you to try another. I sure enjoyed this one!
| Religion0 chapter 1 . 6/5/2008
Yay, happy ending. I really loved this, Aravis is one of my favourite characters and they're the only real pairing in the book. I wonder how C.S. Lewis could keep from making more pairings through seven books?
| Bardess of Avon chapter 1 . 5/6/2008
Oh, I loved this! So perfectly in character for them! And it had a wonderful profession of love that just made me swoon! Bravo, bravo, bravo!
| Sedri chapter 1 . 4/4/2008
Despite your notes fretting about this story, I think most of it turned out rather well. The setup of Aravis' family and intended coming after her makes sense, as does the romanticised solution. I like the touch about Cor learning to spell, though you may want to make it clear how old he is, and perhaps adjust spelling to something a little more 'mature' - elegant handwriting perhaps, or that it's the more complex words he's working on.
Cor is rather sappy and a feels a bit out of character with the 'unworthy' feeling (if you could change how and how quickly he says it, that would help), but I absolutely LOVE Corin's reply about sounding like a poem. Same goes for Cor's talk about the liquor bottle - priceless, really. I smile widely every time I think of them, and laugh aloud each time I read.
The story's biggest weakness, I think, comes at the end with their emotional confessions. They're both being somewhat melodramatic, which could be fixed with a little more edginess and less directness in their dialogue. Also, there are some fairly long paragraphs there of mostly solid dialogue, and it gets fairly hard to read. I recommend breaking them up a bit, both in terms of several smaller paragraphs and some physical description interspaced in the pauses - body language, where their eyes are fixed, little things like that. It could help set the scene better, particularly in terms of their awkward but sincere confessions.
You'd also do well, I think, to cut all those under-confidant notes from your summary and text; some readers are discouraged by authors who seem to be cushioning criticism.
Other than that; cheers, friend; this is a lovely one-shot!