|Reviews for Twelve Totems of the Stone Clan One Half|
| Progos chapter 7 . 8/15/2008
Well done. I can't wait to see what happens next!
| George chapter 7 . 9/17/2006
I really, really, hope you continue this. Ranma as Sailor Sun, the one described in Aftermath. The Aftermath stories are some of my favorites even though Ranma ends up SUPER powerfull. Power fics are hard to write. That is one reason I am stalled on my own fic. It is turning into a power fic. Maybe between the Senshi, Ifor and his parents, Shampoo and Colonge, someone can talk some sense into Nodoka about all that manly insanity. Ifor seems to not have a problem turning into a girl perhaps he can help Ranma adajust better. The Sailors could also help Akane with her temper and attitude towards boys. Gwynne could teach Ranma a little ki and magic. The Kunos are ripe for curses. I am making this story one of my favorites. Thanks for writing.
| George chapter 6 . 9/17/2006
Ranma with Ifor and Shapoo defending him from Akane. Akane apoligised, hell froze over. Maybe Akane and Ranma will talk this time and become friends. If they present a united front against the marriage the fathers have no chance. Soun should be cursed to be a woman, then he and Genma can really 'join' the schools. I have recently read "Tattoon Ranma" here on ffnet and it is one of the best Ranma stories ever written. Lots of people who need it get pounded or worse. This is one of the more original stories I have read and I have read well over a hundred, but less than a thousand I think.
| George chapter 5 . 9/17/2006
Wow. Plot twists I never saw coming, a patient Shampoo, Senshi that will save the world and not rule it, The dateless duo of the Sailors acting like Akane(hit first and don't ask questions). Maybe is they help the Senshi then Setsuna can help with the amazon problem. I know! Trap Colonge in a marriage to Happosai! That would get the stupid law revoked. Is I for as smart as Amy? She could use an intelligent friend.
| George chapter 3 . 9/17/2006
Ifor now a shapeshifter, well at least it is not the standard SI as a kick-ass martial artist. As this is a Sailor Moon cross maybe one of the Senshi could get him as a love interest. Ifor the magical boy(or girl). What does Ifor think of Genma? A stellar dragon could strand him on the moon. I really dislike Genma.
| George chapter 2 . 9/17/2006
Now this is good. Forget the review that criticized wicans. Finally someone besides the old ghoul knows something about magic. I like that idea. An amulet, a trip from Texas to China, and a curse. Ifor is in for interesting times. Ranma being responsible is not OC, he would be in the manga but his worthless father keeps holding him back. The real curse is his honorless father not the jusenko curse. It is a short chapter but short is better than nothing so keep writing. Post an outline if you have noting else. Just post something.
| George chapter 1 . 9/17/2006
The review window just blinked and all I typed is gone. Strange but this is Ranma so maybe the chaos leaked over. Ok. Here I go again. I'm going to do something I have never done before. I am going to review this story chapter by chapter. Normally I review a story after reading all of it and the last chapter is when I hit the review button.
I have read all the other reviews and SO WHAT if some people don't like self-inserts, I like them and they can be really well done. Author wish fullfillment is ok too. I have a story in mind like that and have read others, good stuff too. This prolog is ok, more of a tease than a hook and could have been a little longer, just another short paragraph mentioning where the disk of flintlike stone fell and a foreshadowing of a tie to the Ranmaverse would have improved it. I go to read the next chapter now.
| ranchan chapter 1 . 8/5/2005
love your story keep it up
| Erentei Lord of Insanity chapter 7 . 4/19/2005
Borg Rabbit, if you you can't write, nobody can. I have a few questions though.
1) Why would Ifor have a period? Ranma never did in the manga.
2) Do the transformations require Ki or Chi energy, and how do they work? I have a guinea pig chi mage (don't you dare laugh) and he may be able to use transformations, but rather dragons than things that existed N million years ago.
3) Will you read and review my fics? Ranma's Double has been put on permanent hiatus, and ranma goes insane merely needs more material from my whacko mind.
4) Will you make me your proofreader? My personal email is dark1 rookie (exactly like that, no changes) .
Thanks for writing. Ciao.
| Jonakhensu chapter 7 . 4/10/2005
This is a really good story. You should definitely continue it. If not, I may be forced to fling a flaming sheep at you...
Also, what happens when Ranma's OTHER fiances show up?
| pspinler chapter 6 . 3/25/2005
plusses: competent writing, reasonable dialog and setting of scenes. The scenes of your character's transport to jusenkyo, and his first extensive contacts with Xian Pu flowed noticably well.
minuses: original possible self insert char, story following original char, original char obviously structured as author clue bat (look, see how cool wiccans are!) Ranma is far more mature than he should be, gratutitous sailor moon xover, and if there's a plot, its not yet apparent yet.
Your prose is very readable, you obviously have a lot of potential as an author, certainly more than I. Unfortunately, so far your story reads like a author wish fulfillment story.
It's probably way to late for major plot suggestions, but ... here's what I'd have recommended, had you ever been foolish enough to ask me and unlucky enough to have had opporunity:
First, either drop the original character entirely, (which would be my preference) or refocus the story so that no other storyline's characters stay around for more than a chapter or two. Having your original char hang out with Ranma et el just doesn't work for either Ranma chars, or your original char.
Second: using the sailor moon xover as an explanation for the amulet's origin is fine, but after that, leave sailor moon out. don't even bring the modern day SM chars in, especially not in the (sorry about this comment) lame "oh, lets release this geas" single chapter sillyness. Apologies, but honestly, that was, uh, not good.
Hm, I'd have given thought to having Ranma find the amulet in the spring, but honestly, he doesn't really need any more powerups. Perhaps it'd be more interesting to have shampoo find it, or perhaps have ranma give it to one of the tendo sisters. hhm ...
Finally, what you've written so far makes for an interesting premise, but not necessarily much of a plot. For a plot, you need a definite story, with a specific ending, and some good plot hooks and drama to catch readers interest along the way. Oh, and it doesn't have to be saving the world, or anything even as close to as serious as that.
Well, hope this helped. Thanks for your work, and Good luck!
| Jerry Unipeg chapter 3 . 3/20/2005
| Jerry Unipeg chapter 2 . 3/20/2005
GREAT CHAPTER! Talking about new friends popping up.
| Sonic 1 chapter 1 . 3/12/2005
Ok, I'm confused.
| Daniel Lynx chapter 1 . 3/12/2005
Gaea or Gaia, come on here, didn't you take mythology class or something else to know how to spell that, even though I'm interested to see where this goes, you need to find these things out so it doesn't make you look like an idiot