|Reviews for Little Moments|
| Jay chapter 26 . 8/3/2014
Another well written Lily & James story. Really thought it would have more to do with the job shadowing & her playing his nurse, though I enjoyed how it went. Ending seemed a little rushed, but at the same time cutting off after Peter's comment was perfect. Now to read more by you.
| Aurey chapter 26 . 5/6/2013
OHMYGOSHH I LOVEE this3
| Lily Evans1998 chapter 1 . 3/25/2013
ooh someone i jelous haha
| iHeartMarauders chapter 26 . 7/18/2012
Aww, poor Peter! But siriusly ;D I almost gagged when Peter kissed her- that was GROSS! This story was great though, excellent job on portraying Wormy since we really don't get to see much of him in most LJ fics.
| SoccerChick2112 chapter 15 . 3/17/2012
To where it bent beneath the undergrowth.
And took the other just as fair,
Because it was grassy and wanted to wear;
O-M-Gee, it's my favorite poem too! :D
Awesome story by the way! :]
| dropdeadsnape chapter 26 . 1/14/2011
i loved it. it was really cute...i especially love you disclaimer in the 1st chapter and i liked the titles of the chapters as well.
| sweetxsugarxpain chapter 7 . 12/29/2010
omg! I love it! soooo funny!
| AlwaysDream719 chapter 26 . 11/20/2010
I like it.
| xxneversayingxx chapter 25 . 7/27/2010
Loved it! Awesome story :D
| Dusty Miller chapter 26 . 5/8/2010
I’m getting more used to read stories within the category “Romance” (Lily and James are very much in love still)– even though this is a lot of Fantasy as well, concerning the fact that this is a Harry Potter story – and this sure is one of the stories that’s getting me even closer to liking those stories. Lately I’ve been reading more stories than writing them myself, and it’s kind of annoying, want to know why? I’m reading stories that are COMPLETELY the opposite – genre-wise – to the stories I’m writing. Like; I’m writing fanfiction, and not that much fiction – tried to before, but I’m removed all of it – and I read Harry Potter stories involving Lily and James (equals Romance) when I’m supposed to write stories involving Naruto and the characters Naruto and Minato as father and son (equals Family) . . . great isn’t it?
Anyway, enough of my gibberish, I’m here to leave a review, and I’m one of those people who enjoy to receive reviews with both positive and negative things about the story, so prepare yourself for some critique . . . I’m using three headlines to kind of . . . organise this review, and they’re going to be ‘negative’, ‘positive’ and ‘questions wonderings’. I’ll most likely not write more than three or four matters beneath each headline, oh, and one more thing; I’m not going to check this review for spelling mistakes, you’ve got deal with me, and also; non-native speaker, but who gives a darn nowadays?
-You’re doing well with grammar, spelling, capitalization, as well as with the details, descriptions, emotions and realistic writing. It’s something I appreciate with stories, and I get so . . . bothered somehow . . . when I read stories you can’t even understand, but really, it’s understandable as well. You don’t know the authors’ origins, and maybe the author is new and . . . there are so many other things; nevertheless, to me it’s a criterion that the grammar and spelling is relatively correctly used.
-You had no explicit sex! Freaking hell yeah! In my opinion sex is overrated, so for someone to write out ALL the sex scenes with ALL the details is quite unnecessary, however, I think that’s something to think about concerning your future writing: do not add sex scenes, add hints instead if you just HAVE to have it there. Sex is not allowed on FP or FFN and it actually pisses me off that people add it in their stories (I’m not pissed with you though, because you don’t have it all over the place and you kept it extremely limited). I’ve got nothing against sex, though if I were an admin on this site, I’d probably report the stories at once . . . but that’s not how things are . . . by being an author here, you’ve got certain responsibilities, and you’ve got to be a good example to other authors as well as readers. You can get an AdultFF account and put an uncut version over there, where you’ve got the sex, but NOT here. This is not something you can blame on; “But everybody else have sex in their stories” or “Since so many people write and read sex themselves, why would it be a problem to add it in my stories?” It’s not about that; it’s about rules as well as the fact that this is a fiction site, not a pornography site.
-This story was extremely AU and I liked it at the same time as I was a bit skeptic about it. James hates Lily and then he started to like her? That’s quite original, so it’s good. Quite horrible that James was such a part though, because I’m used to see him as a nice guy who’s willing to do pretty much anything for Lily. I like that you had Peter in there though, and that James was a bit jealous.
- It’s “angry with” and not “angry at” when you’re pissed and someone. Like; “Why are you angry with me? Have I done something wrong?” It’s a minor thing, and I know this because I study grammar like freaking hell, so yeah. I’m not that surprised, a lot of people mess up on this part.
-Er, what else . . . tyypos (there were some other more serious mistakes as well). Don’t you love them? Just like you love a pain in the arse . . . I can understand why typos appear though – for it to be flawless and contain no mistakes whatsoever is quite inevitable, though, that doesn’t matter – I like it when there are some mistakes. It shows me that this person likes to write, for fun, and is not a perfectionist who writes for the publicity. Something connected with this, is that your English screams American English. I’ve never read a Harry Potter story that uses American slang words. I can understand that it’s hard to use British English if you’re used to American English. If you ask me though, I like it when the author actually tries to write in British etc. Speaking of languages, it’s not “yo gusta” it’s “me gusta” about the English/Spanish/French thing you added in the last chapter :]
a) How did you come up with this plot? Did you get your inspiration from an event in real life; did you read a story to get some inspiration, or what happened? I know that this may look like a strange question, but I’d like to know as a growing author, as well as a reader of this story. I want to know how you thought. Stalker waning i.e.
b) You know if we’ll see more of you in the future, or have you given up on fiction writing? I can see the potential of becoming a potent author so don’t let your talents get wasted. Doesn’t matter if it’s fiction writing or not, oh bloody— write a book or whatever. You sure do have some talents. I did notice though, that you’ve got some other stories in your gallery, we’ll see if I plan on reading them or not – I wish there were more than 24 hours a day. This was written a while ago, so I think your writing skills have improved some, but that doesn’t make me less enthusiastic about reading those stories, perhaps a bit cynic . . . since some authors develop as an author and all that shit, but then; bam. It’s not for the better. So yes, I hope it’s for the better with you, not to scare you or anything, but I’m just saying.
c) How old are you really? Because to me it seems as if you’re at least in your mid twenties – I bet you’re like . . . 13-ish merely because I said that – and concerning the structure of the story you’re amazing with your writing.
That’s all I’ve got to say, and I’ve just very glad that you’ve written this story. I’ve said it once before, but really; this is a good story but some parts were just weird. Btw, I’m too lazy (YES! I am lazy; I think we agree on that, hmm?) to go back and look for errors in this reviews – even though I left a certain negative comment about this . . . damn – so you’ll just have to bear with me today. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow, so it’s sleep that’s next on my list of things to do. Dream. Live. Read. Write. All for fiction. Cheers.
Btw, it was fascinating to see James so devoted, and if you know stories that are similar to this one, please let me know. I'm captivated.
| not happy chapter 26 . 4/12/2010
really, that's an ending? it took the first 25 chapters to get lily and james together. you give them a passionless paragraph, and end it. sheesh.
| BlossomQuill chapter 26 . 3/3/2010
Oh! Freaky! Love L/J!
| Dippity-Rox chapter 26 . 7/31/2008
i really enjoyed the story make a new chapter soon
| R E Z I A chapter 26 . 7/23/2008
. of all,i loved it!2nd,it's scary to think that wormtail spilled to voldy about the potters whereabouts out of a horrible rat,to be more literal.i HATE him.a few chapters before,i was feeling pity for him,but now it's straight out hate.
| R E Z I A chapter 18 . 7/23/2008
I feel uneasy..what if the James' parents don't like the presents?