Reviews for Introspective Hero
Yujianlong chapter 37 . 6/19
I could hardly breath through the second half of this chapter.
The emotions in this literaly took my breath away. It's so, so, so beautiful!

I can't really but my own reaction into words. It's just a little too much.
Your writing was so perfect, the tender and warm feeling came accross so well..! The love these two people feel, it's just so deep. And really, as Jak put it, warm.

This is a work of art, even more than the rest of your brilliant story.
Scenes like this are the reason I read fanfictions. Scenes like this one are the reason I fall in love with a story.

I wish I had a better way of telling what this chapter means to me, but I can't.
I'm overflowing with emotion. Thank you for sharing this piece of art!
Yujianlong chapter 36 . 6/19
Really Sig... did you actually expect this to be quick and easy?

Jak is so, so sweet. Daxter better make sure he treats him well, cause I know a couple of girls who would kill to get such a considerate partner.

Missions in Heaven Forest always call for trouble. ALWAYS!
The only managable in-game mission there was when you had to destroy the eco plants... And that's before the gang learns about the Dark Maker ship. So yeeks, this mission cannot mean anything good...
Putting your gun away on a mission? Are you dumb? You're asking for things to go.. Yeah.. That's what I meant.

I flipping HATE this stuppid wannabe cyborg Errol. Someone shoot him already. And make sure he stays down this time.
Also - Daxter you stupid ottsel! This is an electro-bot. Get. Back. Into. The. WATER?! Or well... maybe not. Fucking Errol!

The idea that it was Daxter that actually transformed Jak is.. interessting. And not entierly implausible, since Jak probably never went dark before the ottsel showed up.
"I'm the one that doesn't run away" - This sentence is so beautiful. It means so much more than just the words spoken.

Poor Daxter.. He's got off worse than Jak this time, psychological wise at least. But heck, he pulled an amazing stunt when freeing himself and Jak!
Yujianlong chapter 35 . 6/18
I wish Jak and Daxter would have walked over to the gun range with Sig, just idly talking. And then the three of them could have entered and Tess would proooobably have had a heart attack.

Also, Torn... Oh gooooood XD
I think if anything he put Daxter in the same room because it's just more sensible. If what Daxter said is true (and it obviously is) then it's better to have someone with Jak during the night...
No need to wake up half the HQ with his screams.

And as always, Samos seems to know more than the rest - Onin not included, obviously.

Oh Sig, you will like it - eventually.
But really. Whyyyyy does Damas have to be such a I-only-believe-what-I-can-see kinda guy. It's frustrating!
And if they're already on the find-people-thingy, Sig could ask Tess to find his missing ex KG.

I love Tess more and more. Roasting Pecker for dinner? Nice. I know a couple of good things you can make from chicken
I want to shake Damas. Shake him until he makes that fucking call. I'm going to have a flipping headfit. This stubborn man makes ma so mad...
Yujianlong chapter 34 . 6/18
Mmmmmh... I liked the morning scene.
It broke the last bit of stress and hury from the previous chapters. Though things go right back to business-as-usual when the communicator goes off. And the door...
Jfc, give these boys a break - a proper one!

How do you manage to make even a funeral so beautiful?
You managed to bring the atmosphere across very well, and the entire ceremony worked very well with the culture and the way of living in Spargus.

I'm feeling very sorry for Tess, to be honest.
She's stuck in a horrible situation, and to do the "right" thing is... ugh... I wouldn't want to switch places with her.

Naaah... I was supposed to get stuff done now, but I just can't stop reading..!
Yujianlong chapter 33 . 6/18
Yes, Damas... Go make sense and finally believe what you already know you silly king.

No Jak, dear, that's definitely not going to help. And it could destroy so, so much, you don't even realise. For a moment I was worried you would this got wrong now, too.
This whole desperate attempt to make things right would have been ok, if their relationship wasn't in such a fragile state still.

Really short comment this time, but most of this chapter didn't really offer itself up for commenting.
Somehow the only reaction my brain can come up with is silence. Calm, waiting silence. And lots of tension for my poor nerves.
Yujianlong chapter 32 . 6/18
Oh I'm definitely in the Mob, though I won't give the Peace Maker back afterwards. I always wanted one of those.

I hate it when that particular nut shot gets an Introspection. I never means anything good, ever.

Oh Daxter, I don't think even you can imagine the dimension of that particular fanclub. I'm sure lots of reader were not very impressed with Lev's death...

Oh I just KNOW the look Jak gives Damas' car... Because I know someone who got to meet their idol, and well... I can relate to Daxter's exasperation, to say the least. "
Since I've seen the brilliance that is "Mad Max: Fury Road" I have a very vivide mental image of the Army that just left Spargus City. Oh, what a magnificent sight they must make... (please ignore the madness of this statement, Fury Road got me bad)

My instincts have a tendency to agree with Daxter's ottsel instincts... I just know shit's about to hit the fan big time!
And yep, there we go. Sound stay in you memory better than images, so Jak most likely clearly remembered that particular cold laughter all too well.
God you nearly made me cry with the next bit... "speaking as if to a child"... was that really necessary?! My poor heart!

And god, that Zem lives is so, so important!
Jak may think he completely lost it when he killed Lorke, but he didn't. Far from it! He set Zem free and didn't harm him at all. And he KNOWS that Zem was a prison guard!

To comment on Daxter's Introspection - well if our dear author isn't a total sadist, she'll let our dead Damas live and you'll get some support in keeping Jak from drifting down the deep end again...
Yujianlong chapter 31 . 6/18
I love your OCs. They're amazing and deep characters, all different from one another. Though I hate Lorke's guts, he's still amazingly written.
Hooooowever, since the last chapter I'm scared of getting (more) attached to any of them, cause I'm scared you're going to kill of another one!

Yeah well, lovely ?-OC, you probably should have believed the bit with the message from his mother. Because duh... There is a little idiot named Zem strongly depending on "Ingen" showing up in Spargus. Now more than ever, since Lev's not around to cover his ass.

Well, the guy swallowed his amulet, no surprise they didn't find it...
I'm really impressed by the monks. They get a very small role in the games, and it was always a little mysterious how they contribute to life in Spargus. I absolutely love how you integrated them into the civilisation and gave them their own area of responsibility. It's so well done, I'm amazed every time.
Also, yay for more OCs to get attached to - I already love Spegel. She's a brilliant planner, and just save a ton of Wastelanders, just because she managed to remain emotionally detached. Clever lady that one.

Oh... OH NO!
Not Jelas too. I'm not sure what's worse, to see him gying a good man - or well, a better man - or not to know how he ended.
I always had a soft spot for the insane ones, those that just lost it because of the pain and horror they had to go through. Maybe because I somehow hope that they can be redeemed, or can find their peace before they go down. And here we are...
I guess he got to redeem himself somehow.

And now I'm feeling sick.. I can't stand reading tortue. It just makes me physically sick.
So I'm very glad that the chapter didn't end with Zem screaming...
Yujianlong chapter 30 . 6/17
Oh... I don't like that author comment. Not one bit...

I love Lev. I so, so, so love Lev.
He's funny, a bit morbid but I quite like that, and at least partially suicidal. That's a very nice combiniation.

"He's alive again" - did I ever mention that I love Lev? He's perfect.
Oh no... nonononononooooo. Not that guy again.
Lorke hasn't really had any appearance in the present, yet I whole-heartedly hate the guy.

Wha... WHAT?! When the heck did the get around to kill Lev..?!
That came kinda sudden... Like, one moment he's behind a car, next moment he's dead. I don't even get what just happened..
Which is probably the reason I'm not freaking out right now... LEV... ;;_;;
Yujianlong chapter 29 . 6/17
I feel you manage to add many canon-compliant details to your story. Like the foragers and the mushrooms and fruits. It's all very Spargus, and though it was never mentioned in the games, all those added elements just fit, like they always belonged to the Jak and Daxter verse.

My stomach is in knots waiting for Dax to say whatever he's going to say. I'm trying to keep myself from jumping the lines from dialogue bit to dialogue bit.
I've waited so loooooong for this.

I dare you Daxter, break that little bit of hope in Jak's eyes and I'm going to break your neck (even if I've got Dark hot on my heels after).
Also, Daxter... you dimwit you're taller, there is no chance he's going to bend you backwards. That would be anatomically extremely illogical.

Oh Jak is wonderful about this... If Daxter didn't completely and utterly fall in love with him at this point the latest, I don't know how he ever will.

It's funny cause Daxter doesn't know how the whole kissing thing's supposed to go. And that makes one nervous, even if you don't have to go throuhg a big I'm-gay-for-my-best-friend freak out on top of it.

And as always with you, just when things seem to be going nice, something goes boom.
And to top it off, you drop the White Eco bomb. I'm going to have a heart attack before this fanfiction's over.
Yujianlong chapter 28 . 6/17
I always wondered about the white eco source in Spargus... It does make sense to not have it present in your story.

Oh god DaxTER! I can hardly breath, this is perfect.
It's writen so well, so soft spoken and tender. I'm getting second-hand butterflys just reading it... Holy mother of... Awwwww
(Jup, you've done it. You reduced me to a babbling messy puddle on the floor)

Aaaand then you go and ruin the mood in such a spectacular way... Was that really necessary?

I'm glad the pieces clicked in Sig's mind.
I was very worried it would take him god knows how many chapters to get there.. Now all he needs to do is find the guy again.
Poor Sig, two people he needs to find in Heaven already.

Jup, Daxter is catching up.
Tess will have a field day when she finds out.
Yujianlong chapter 27 . 6/17
Tess' introspective is perfect. All of it.

Tickling... Really.
I want to knock his head against a wall... Hard!

Whenever I got hung over, I was lucky enough to not get light-and-sound-sensitivity. Just feeling like crap overall... I always wonder if that bit with the noise and light was just an legend.
But legend or not, Jak got it bad. Moron should have had his water the night before... Silly boy.

I thought it in the last chapter, but it's even clearer in this chapter: over the break, you got a lot better in writing fighting scenes.
They still have that somehow calm nature to them that is kind of your trademark writing style, but they still get across a lot more hectic and dramatic. So big thumbs up for that.

Ingen huh?
Odly convenient appearance for a random ex-KG. Especially one that is acting suspicious...

Ohhhh... Daxter about to have his next big gay freak out...? D
Yujianlong chapter 26 . 6/17
Hahahahahaaaa... Oh Tess baby, you don't know how much big, big trouble is. Not even remotely.

I would have loved to be a fly on the wall - or the Sharks frame - when the Demolition Duo pratcticed that particular trick... xDD

The Black Oasis... Oh shit... nonononoooo. This is going to go so spectacularly wrong. Oh FUCK!
And oh dear.. I need the receipt for the Facetwister. That sounds just like something I'd love to serve my husband D

No Jak, you stupid little mororn. No ravishing the drunk stud is something people say when drunk. That's not because Daxter is actually worried. Ok, the thought crossed his mind. When? When he was thinking about giving you what you wished for, despite not wanting to!
But since you two morons don't really talk about your issues - as boy tend to do - you're now feeling like shit again. Dumb idiots...

WHAT IS TORN'S CODE NAME?! I neeeeeed to know OwO

Oh this Tess-Torn-Samos conversation is interessting.
I really liked the italic yes, before Samos starts hinting things. I once read a book where the world would communicate in italics and... well... I heard the same childishly excited voice in my head when I read that word. and... sorry, getting side tracked.
Things are mooooving! (Imagine me excitedly jumping up and down in my seat while reading the chapter)
Yujianlong chapter 25 . 6/16
Yess, yes, please get Jak to help with your Heaven City Assignement Sig.
That's a gooooood plan!

I really like how you manage to balance the two main story lines in your fanfiction. Despite most of your characters around Zem's plot line being OCs, they are very believable and fit well with the canon verse.

Can we just agree that both of them have huge angsting issues?
It makes me want to knock their heads together...

I was looking forward to the evil-Daxter-massage since he turned human again.
Oh this better be good D

Bless Jak. His behaviour is so considerate at all times, so considerate of these unspoken rules Daxter can't make his mind up about
It's beautiful, really. Even if it hurts Jak to be so close and yet so far...

Oh my poor baby Zem...
So much pain, so much guilt. I guess once you break free from military brain-wash, you still don't quite realise how strong that brain-wash is. You just see all your wrong-doings and are horrified by yourself, but you don't aknowledge what has brought you to do these deeds.
Yujianlong chapter 24 . 6/16
Tess is so precious.
I liked the little slip up with the ribbon at the beginning. Like, yeah, obviously she just wants the Demolition Duo to make up, bt apart from that... Well, she's a fangirl I guess :3

As mean as this may sound, but I like that Jak actually got hurt, and hasn't managed to heal (himself) yet. It's always good to see that the hero is vulnerable too, that he can be hurt and that even he, shining and glorious hero, is just mortal in the end.
It's very important as it makes the character way more believable.

Yup, the dicussion is about as painful and awkward as I imagined.
But despite being awkward, and despite Jak struggling with his words, the whole discussion is also very soothing. It has this tender quality, that I love about your writing style .
Daxter is merciless with his questions...

I always though Keira was stuggling too much with Jak's time in the prison and all that came from it. I don't even blame her. We all think that we would be good and amazing if we ever came to face someone so traumatised, but in the end we cannot tell until we actually get into that situation. So Keira can't cope, that's human, and I'm sure it wasn't for a lack of trying on her side...

Jesus fucking Christ, this chapter is hell to read and I'm not even halfway through.
It's good that it adresses a lot of what has only been hinted at so far. Some things become less horrible when you lay them open and look at them in the broad daylight.
Then again, when you cannot even find a starting point, how can you hope to heal..?

This stupid boys...! I want to cry.
It's good that Daxter babbles and thinks aloud, because he finally, finally shows his confusion and whatever reasoning (or lack thereof) he had out in the open. It's going to help, even if Daxter doesn't yet realise it.
Because Jak had thought he knows why and what Daxter would do, and Daxter had thought he knows why Jak kissed him and... Neither of them knew, ok? That's why they need to talk. Because even if they can read each other so well, they are on unknown terrain and they are bound to have some sort of miscommunication along the way...

I was hoping for some more touching and hugging, because they both need some cuddles. But in the situation, it makes more sense that there is no touching.
I liked the really short touch at the end.
Yujianlong chapter 23 . 6/15
I really, really didn't have time to read over the weekend, but I so wanted to...

Oh dear... I start to believe Tess will fly over to Spargus just to knock these silly boys' heads together. And as things stand with Jak's sleeping schedule, Damas would probably let her.

I like the mastermind!Tess. She's hilarious, and probably the only one to solve the problem that is Jak and Daxter in a reasonable timeframe.

I'm with Daxter on the whole "Jak wronged him" thingy... Daxter tried everything to get back to Jak, despite the huge awkward something that was still between them. And Jak didn't manage to think that fare, did he?
Jak never realised why Daxter is doing this.
Not saying Dax did nothing wrong, he said a few really, really nasty things. Still.. Jak fucked up...

Oh my god I was so scared. I was nearly screaming at my screen, trying to get Daxter to move, to do something anything..!

I'm curious how the next chapter will play out.
That's going to be interesting... I'm half-dreading it (on behalf of the characters) and half looking forward to it, because I'm sure you'll manage to surprise me with whatever these two silly boys will come up with.
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