Reviews for Broken Rules
Arkosenn chapter 14 . 11/22/2013
great story. But the ending was anticlimactic to say the least
ExilEden chapter 14 . 7/19/2013
I guess I should have seen this ending coming, given what the summary was about.

Truly, I thought all those moments where Hinata made her prayers, and where she cries for Neji not to leave her, would all culminate, or at the very least mean something more than just scene fillers. I'm not trying to be mean towards you, as the author, because you write outstandingly well. It's proved, otherwise I wouldn't be so angry and dissatisfied with the ending. I wouldn't care about the characters, the story. But despite that, I just feel the need to rant, and get this off my chest. So please, don't take any of what I say as an attack to you or your writing/story.

It's just that a large part of me was hoping for them to work it out somehow, with or without the Hokage's help. I also figured that towards the ending of this story, Hinata would finally show her true strength and conviction by ordering that it's Neji, or the unborn child, proving that times, traditions, and rules are changing, and that she finally fully realizes that the council walk over her ONLY because she's letting them. When I started to read that line where she declares herself the rightful heiress, I thought that she would step up to the plate, and realize that SHE is the one holding all the cards, not them, and that SHE has more power over them than she thinks.

I'm just disappointed because there are so FEW decently written NejiHina fics on here, and I finally found one with great characterization, decent spelling/grammar, and intriguing plot, that as I go through each chapter, eyes glued to the screen, on the edge of my seat in suspense, I read the finale, and it has to be this (in my humble opinion) mediocre ending.

I just want them to be a family together, dammit. Ugh, I don't even know what this Jin Hyuuga looks like, and his name already leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. A vengeful part of me even wishes that Hinata won't have any more children, so that she and Neji's child gets all of her love and attention, even if the three of them can't be a family.

As a side note, I think you could have expanded more in the earlier chapters more on Hyuuga ANBU. Then, I feel the ending wouldn't have felt so...lacking in terms of the significance behind Neji's words. If Hyuuga ANBU are like the secret service, then I would've felt better, because at least Neji would have more of a valid reason to be near Hinata, and watch over their child more closely. Jin could...I dunno, die of a heart attack or whatever Idunreallycareabouthim. /sideways glance The council couldn't really do much by then, could they? They would already have an heir after all. ANBU!Neji and Hinata would naturally gravitate towards each other, now that Jin is out of the picture, but this time, they would be more discreet and careful, doing no more than a soft glance or a pat on the back in public. Then he could idunno sneak into her room at night or something /shrugs

That sounds like a good prompt for a slightly sweeter epilogue. I'd be interested in writing it, but I'd feel like I was stepping on somebody's toes if I did. /sigh

Oh well...
MizukiKira chapter 2 . 4/15/2011
randomly, as you were writing this, i was wondering why you think Neji and hinata should feel ashamed?

Theoritically speaking, Hyuga is a Clan family. And there for, would more than likely inbreed into the family to keep their special eyes.

Also, in Japan, it IS legal to marry your cousin, so I'm only saying...

None the less, wonderful work!
always-kh chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
hmm the idea of them together and like that is... odd. but intriguing too. and this is well written and somehow seems in character and i guess how they got to this stage will be explained too.
Guest chapter 7 . 7/5/2010
nice sense of humor with the aunts
Heise chapter 14 . 6/9/2010
YES I KNEW IT. I knew she wouldn't have done it!

Well no ... I actually thought she did it - BUT I'm glad she DIDN'T. Hehe.

Anyways. That one little victory aside ...

NOOOOOOOOOOO ... this is even worse than Romeo and Juliet! Even though Romeo and Juliet were idiots, they were lucky compared to Neji and Hinata. D: Oh my God. This sucks. Well not your story. THE TRAGEDY SUCKS. But not in the unrefined way. If anything, it's beautiful artistic. But I love to hate it and hate to love it. So in the end, nothing really made a difference. :( Freaking Hyuugas ... goddamn it ...

Good job, good job.
Heise chapter 13 . 6/9/2010
Holy crap man. My one pathetic little review is not going to do the rest of this story justice. At first I was totally expecting some PWP cause I was just bored, but this got really, really good. There's a certain fineness about everything you've brought into the story and I adore the level of detail you go into about the inner workings of Konoha clans. Everything you've added in this fanfiction to the world of Naruto is very believable and congruous to Kishimoto's style. Himori and Kaiya are nearly ically real characters from Naruto to me now, and I'm sure that if Kishimoto would ever focus more on the Hyuuga clan, there would be a character (or characters) like those pressing up against Hiashi and forcing him to make all these decisions seen as cruel by others who just don't understand. Yeah, I don't really see Hiashi as an incompetent asshole of a father even though wouldn't it be a cop out in fanfiction? Man, I love NejiHina a lot, and poor Neji! Everything is going so badly for him! Give him a break. And Hinata. God. I'm not sure if her choice to kill the baby (is that what it is ...?) is a sign of weakness. She's pretty strong to have dealt with all that shit from her family for all this time, but to really give up the baby ... is it a smart choice, though. Well I'm just going to have to read to find out.

Good job on writing this so far. It's great.
skydancer chapter 14 . 4/1/2010
I really loved this story. It's probably the best NejiHina fic I've read.
ImCutePoison chapter 14 . 3/24/2010
I really like the story.. it captivated me so much that I read it in one breath. The end through displeased me. It may be silly but I like the happy ending. Thank you that you try to lessen the bad ending - it could been worse. You are good writer. I hope youll continue writing.. try with more happy-ending through. Wish you lick.
hinacouples chapter 14 . 3/9/2010
You know what I loved this story! But the ending pissed me off but hey as Neji would say "It is fate can nt be changed"
fanofthisfiction chapter 14 . 10/19/2009
I wasn't really sure where this story would end up and I must admit the ending was a surprise for me. This tale was wonderfully written, capturing the raw emotions of two youth involved in an impossible love. There are several people willing and able to help them so I guess that's why the ending was surprising and sad to me.

With lots of stories left untold I can see how an epilogue might be good. One has to wonder what happens to Shino, JIn, Hinata, and Neji. I think I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic so I was hoping the older Jounin's including Tsunade would come to help the young couple through their difficult time and help in part, change the ways of the Hyuuga Council with the help of Hinata's father and friends of Village Clans.

In part, I had preconceived the idea that breaking the rules would have been worth something, and brought Hinata and Neji to some higher understanding of things while taking the older generation to face that transformation as well.

All in all, this story was very well written with an interesting plot and character take on all involved. Dialogue and prose were woven nicely. Care was taken in adding what each character did to push the plot forward or give us some insight into something more. Thanks again for sharing.
fanofthisfiction chapter 13 . 10/19/2009
Oh my, the story is coming to an end? I can only guess what you might have in store. My congrats on making this tale on an unlikely paring, very interesting.
fanofthisfiction chapter 12 . 10/19/2009
This tale is very compelling. I don't think Hinata would be showing so much in a few weeks but it doesn't matter. The slow unveiling of this story makes the reader take it all in stride. Perhaps this last attempt to break Neji will give Hinata the strength to break out of her shy shell and do what her heart tells her.
fanofthisfiction chapter 11 . 10/19/2009
I am still enjoying Kakashi's role in the search for the truth. Hinata is still staying very much in character.

I'm not sure what to quite make of the indifference to the preganancy both for Hinata and Neji, although by the actions of the Council, maybe they are more in shock of everything that happens around them.

Shino's proposal is a gallant one and no doubt, he is proving to be more than just a good friend and teammate to Hinata. I guess if she can marry Shino, I'm not exactly sure why she couldn't marry Neji. Maybe there is too close a blood tie in? If that were the case, wouldn't they be worried about that with the pregnancy?
fanofthisfiction chapter 10 . 10/19/2009
I like the stresses and strains the new situation is baring for Hinata. Having the little things have meaning is also having Kakashi know about Hinata's ability to track even his elusive self.

I believe Sasuke and Jiraiya as spelled as shown.

There is a lot told from Hinata's point of view in this story and believe me, it's very good. It is exciting when another point of view is shared though, like that of Kakashi's. In some ways, I probably don't feel as bad for Neji because he is stoic on the outside and his point of view isn't shared as much to have empathy. Still, I really am enjoying this tale.
228 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »