|Reviews for The Call|
| Guest chapter 3 . 11/30/2005
Terrific story! Can't wait for the next chapter.
| wifeofxasonnex chapter 2 . 7/13/2005
"Why is it always me?" That is the $64,0.00 question!
I really like the story, but I think that the Lindsey part is stretching the reality that is created by the show a little. I don't think that Grissom would go for it (especially since he didn't want Sara to participate in the sting operation to "catch the Strip Strangler") and neither would Catherine-she's even more uptight than Grissom.
It's a good ride, though.
Now for the technical stuff:
1. I would suggest editing the first chapter so that it doesn't have so many typos and abbreviations (for example, though Grissom could be described as "grim" I think you should refer to him as either "Gil" or "Grissom").
2. You changed your format quite drastically between the first chapter and the end of the story (switching from an omniscient third-person to alternating first-person perspectives). Perhaps you could correct this by labeling the first chapter the "Prologue" and adding a bit of Epilogue in third-person perspective as chapter three of the story.
3. You also did a sort of "bait and switch." The reader starts out thinking that the story is going to be about dealing with Warrick's death, but then it becomes about Nick's kidnapping and some obscure back story. I don't hold it against you, though, because sometimes the stories take themselves in their own directions. You may be able to go back and smooth out the transition, though.
Your writing is very good for your age. I think that middle school is the most creative era in anyone's life (why my goal is to someday teach either English or Science at the middle school level). Don't stop creating! I stopped writing stories as much in high school and college and I am just now getting back into the swing of writing. If you keep writing, you'll only continue to improve (instead of backsliding and then having to work your way back later as I did).
| pinkforensics chapter 2 . 6/13/2005
It took me a while - but I did it! That was really original and I thought it was great how you incorporated Lindsey into the twisted plot to get Nicky back. Great work!
| WarricksGirl chapter 1 . 5/17/2005
WHY? HOW COULD U? warrick...MY WARRICK!
u made me cry...I WANT WARRICK
there's spelling mistakes...but i can't get on u 4 that because i'm way worse than u...lol...and *sniff* u killed little warrick...sweet innocent...sexy...warrick...*curls into a fetal posistion and cries*
| TrinityWildcat chapter 1 . 5/16/2005
Great start! Do make yourself keep going, learning to persevere through the writer's block is a vital skill for all writers. Also, and I hope this doesn't sound mean, find a beta reader. It's tricky to pick up tiny grammar errors when you're concentrating on the plot, and a good beta will do that for you.
| jk05 chapter 1 . 4/19/2005
Good Job! I hate the cilffhanger! if you need ideas try these...
1)find plates and I.D. suspect
2)drop something with DNA (ex:fingernail, broken off in a struggle with Nick)
3)paint chips from car
5)car fluid (ex:oil, radiator, antifreeze... make it a kind only for the suspects car)
6)if you need more ideas ask me in class
| pinkforensics chapter 1 . 4/14/2005
Oh my...Great start to the story! It's very interesting to see the reactions and the thoughts of how they're feeling! Update soon!
| csicrazii chapter 1 . 3/25/2005
i do plan on writing more, but im having serious writers block. anyone have any ideas?
if so e-mail me h3l0kityr0kz
| yendys chapter 1 . 3/25/2005
Oh my god! What happened to my Nick? Warrick's dead :( This is a awesome story, please continue!
| rozzy07 chapter 1 . 3/25/2005
No! Cruel cliffhanger queen. You dare to 'Kill off' our Warwich in your opening chapter and then have our Nicky kidnapped before we can draw breath from the initial shock of one our fave CSI being dead... aghh! You need to answer so many questions here. Don't leave us hanging like this. Need our next update double speed... PLZ
| Oniongurl chapter 1 . 3/24/2005
Oh my gosh! I started crying after the first paragraph, cuz Warric is one of my favorite charcters. I have one question though, where was the crime scene? Please PLEASE write more soon and be sure to bring me some tissues!