|Reviews for Kissed by Shadows|
| reko1620 chapter 15 . 4/15
Hi Demented Insane Spirit! :) I hope you've been well. Here comes my long post:
Words cannot describe how I was feeling as I read the story. I was on the edge of my seat, waiting to know who the killer was. The cannibalism was a nice touch to the dark tone of the story; it added another layer to the killer, being very wild and unpredictable. I liked the build-up suspense you had for us readers in regard to guessing who the culprit was.
I didn't mind that the romance took a backseat to the mystery, which was the larger and more important plot of your story. I rather enjoy that you did that, because it gave you enough meat (pun intended) to add layers to your original characters (who all played important roles alongside the YGO characters). So, while I didn't mind that the romance wasn't the front burner, I was bothered by how rushed it felt. As you made a note at the beginning in one of your chapters, you didn't want the story to just be about Anzu going back and forth between Bakura and Marik, so you added in the mystery aspect (and I continue to applaud you for that), and it definitely gave your story and characters more room for development. I understood your anguish in not knowing who you wanted Anzu to end up, which is fine (because our girl is amazing, and she deserves her harem of suitors. Screw anyone who says otherwise!).
I'm going to repeat myself, but I like the direction in which you took your story. No doubt about it. Your original characters were fine; they had enough layers to make them feel real. Malik, Yami, and to a certain extent, Seto were fine as well. Anzu was somewhat in character, for the most part. She is smart, but I started questioning about that during and after the attack in the earlier chapters. Wouldn't she have perhaps seen the killer's face when he attacked her? Maybe I missed the part where he was masked, so she wouldn't be able to recognize her killer. And one flaw I just thought of is the discontinuity of the police's involvement in catching the killer. It was left to Yami and Seto's devices to play hero (Bakura, as well, since he took down the killer).
Speaking of Bakura, he was the character I had a hard time picturing. He didn't quite feel like the Bakura I've come to know in yours and others' stories. The only times I truly felt he was in character were when he was serious. But other than that, I felt like I was seeing/reading Otogi in the role, whatwith the cheesy flirtation mixed with Pegasus's personality-all the French endearments and clear-spoken name-callings (to which I believe the "real" Bakura would curse in his head, or mumble under his breath).
Marik is the other character I felt was odd. I couldn't feel what he was feeling or really understand what he was thinking. He didn't feel like the rugged and hard Marik that is usually in your other stories. I mean, I was happy that Anzu and Marik ended up together (after my heart broke when their ship didn't happen in "Fingerprints"). But as mentioned before, the romance felt rushed. Particularly, Marik's outburst on his love for Anzu; and the latter's realization that Marik has always been there for her from the start. I'd hoped we would get more small, intimate moments to showcase the blooming of their romance in between chapters. To be convinced of why they want to be together, or why they had the feelings that they had, but there never was a clear indication.
I knew I wasn't going to root for Anzu to end up with Bakura because he didn't feel like Bakura at all. I felt like Lucifer would have been a better rival for Anzu's affections than Bakura. And I totally pictured Raphael (from the YGO anime series) as Lucifer, because I can see it working between him and Anzu. Raphael was definitely older than Anzu by a lot (as Lucifer is as well in the story). I felt like the love triangle between Lucifer, Anzu, and Marik would have been more dynamic and thrilling (*personally just my taste). You had already developed somewhat a friendship between Lucifer and Marik. So, while I felt like in the beginning Lucifer would be the better man for Anzu (and the girl got it bad for him; I was sad :[ when he rejected her); during the journey of finding the killer, romance would blossom between Anzu and Marik. And the angst is Anzu being torn between two men, while being on the lookout for the killer. But that's not what happened, so I hope this inspires some short drabble.
Well, that's all I got to say about this story. I know this was one of your earlier works, so a few typos here and there, but they never distracted me from the actual story. And I definitely love your improved writing; seeing your growth as a writer is amazing. I started reading your newer and more recent stories; and I can see the difference in finding what works and doesn't work for your writing. Keep up the great work! :)
| Rachel-Macca96 chapter 15 . 4/8/2014
Wow, what a great story; I really enjoyed it. I just love your stories, there so good. Keep up the good work; I'm a big fan of Anzu with either Bakura, Marik or Malik, sometimes Ryou. I look forward to reading more of your stories on the future.
| NushiKasai chapter 15 . 4/10/2012
Yet again, this story was written in an era of time that I love, and you just made it seem so...realistic!
This story gave me shivers, it made me sad, and it made me happy, but I could never stop reading it. Look, I'll be honest in saying that, with your earlier stories, you weren't very descriptive...but you just HOOKED a reader. And now, when your writing has matured, you are an extremely talented author. I enjoy many of your works, and I can read and reread many of your stories.
This was another story where I disliked a majoy complication in the storyline- such as Isis' death- but the previous parts of the story had given me the incentive to keep reading through it. And I was glad, as things did turn out well and happy.
This is the first story where I do have criticism, though I assume you already know what it is...somewhat. The ending was extremely abrupt, and I know that it was because you were getting bored with this fic, but I couldn't help but feel slightly...sad. I like how your stories end with a almost drawn out ending, that I enjoy reading, but this one- despite still concluding everything very well- didn't give me that same feeling. Actually, it did, but it was very quick. It was there for a moment, and then it was gone all of a sudden.
Never mind that though, for the story was still of an amazing quality. You do seem to push out very well-written work :)
Marik was very good in this story, but Bakura was my favourite character in this one. I don't think many authors could have pulled off a French Bakura, but you certainly did. The way he just came out with random babbling of French just adding amusement to an otherwise- pretty dark story.
The plot of this just hooked me from the start, and everything just went from there. I felt repulsed by the killer's cannibalism, and how he murdered Isis, but they all just added to the concoction of the story.
This is certainly one of my highlights when it comes ot your writing :)
| InuKeifer chapter 5 . 2/18/2009
(It took me about five minutes to find the Review button...)
I noticed in this sentence,
“Oui, moi reconnaitre.” Bakura smirked at Anzu. “Moi came over to see if vous wanted to go out on a walk with moi.” Anzu blinked, then nodded.
In the first sentence,you actually wrote,"Yes,me to recognize." Proper grammer would be 'Oui, j'ai reconnu.'
I also noticed that when he says "Moi wanted over to see...,"it sould be Je instead of Moi,since moi means me instead of I.
You might want to check over the rest of your was the only sentence which I caught the grammer mistakes right away,but you might have more in other than that,it was good.I just love all your stories,I'm hooked. -
O_O Wow,this has gotta be the longest review I've done in a long time.
| Vermillion Serpent chapter 15 . 8/9/2008
Really good story there
I was so convinced the cannibal was North!
I loved the cannibal idea! And I think you should have added a bit more detail, but I'm just sadistic like that sorry X_X()
| t recorder chapter 15 . 5/8/2008
this took me a little bit because i call malik marik and marik malik but hey both are corect but i love all the middle ages stuff and its i ronic that around the time i read this i was studding it in school i thought that was funny this is awsome
| Siy chapter 15 . 9/26/2006
Aw...T_T such a lovely ending, just, why now ;_; Why not an extra chapter with now them as a married couple? T_T I'd die to see that.
| Angel chapter 15 . 9/3/2006
XD Good story!
| P0g0Stick chapter 15 . 8/16/2006
Before I begin, this is Meemee DD (I finally got an account.)
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER!
It was so wonderful, truly amazing )
I can't believe it was ssax *hits head mumbling: Stupid, stupid*
Oh well! you win some you lose some.
I think I almost died when he stabbed seto D: To the annoyance of my family members I let out a small shriek when he was stabbed.
However, my favorite part was: "he saw Malik make a kissing motion towards him."
LOL! *kissy face*
A beautiful fic and I enjoyed reading it hopefully just as much as you enjoyed writing it. Prepare to see some more reviews from me on other fics. D!
| carpeeffingdiem chapter 15 . 8/16/2006
A happy ending!
I've always prefered happy ending over the tragic ones (i don't mind them, though) and this ending is just great.
Although I have to say the love confession part was just... unexpected. Still, I think it's cute that Marik gets a huge soft spot.
I'm gonna read the Prolonged kiss ur other stories now review on them as well.
| WillowFae chapter 15 . 8/13/2006
| Cataracta chapter 15 . 8/12/2006
Nice ending! Good stuff!
| Angel chapter 14 . 6/20/2006
OMG OMG OMG The suspense is killing me! Who could it be? The wildly popular Vincent Hastings or the sweet demure lord North!
(don't really know if hes wildly popular and sweet/demure)
| WillowFae chapter 14 . 6/2/2006
Update soon! I want to know who the killer is.
| Cataracta chapter 14 . 6/1/2006
You're killing my analytical brain, dove. I'm running around in circles trying to figure out which, but you've done a terrific job in framing either one of them. *glare* Anyway, awesome chapter, and I don't think I've said this before...but the way you portray England and the English is very realistic, and I'm very happy about that. Update soon!