Reviews for Perditor
Jeanniebird chapter 28 . 6/23/2014
Wow, I just read through your Van Helsing stories in record time! I really do enjoy your stories, they kept me at the edge of my seat and it was a pain every time I was interrupted because my eyes were basically glued to the screen. I love the suspence and pacing of your stories. The consepts are well thought through and researched , kudos for that. I do know that research for writing takes quite and amount of time.

You really breath live into your characters. I could visualize them and sometimes I felt like Carl was standing right next to me. Your version of Gabriel might not quite be the same as in the movies, but after regaining his memories he is still the most human archangel I have ever 'met'. I think it's good that you don't make him all-powerful. Especially him clashing with the mondane human life (especally when Carl is reminded of Gabriels nature) is always amusing.

Your 'Castaways of the flying Dutchman' crossover fits seamlessly into the story. I admit that I never read the novels, but I do enjoy reading about Ben and Ned :)

I saw that you currently put all your writing at hold, but I do hope that you will one day be able to write THE SICARII. In the meantime I will devour your Van Helsing crossovers.

Regards
Jeanniebird
Named chapter 6 . 6/1/2010
...just so you know, what Gabriel states actually IS the Catholic Church's stance on the Bible. Protestants are the ones that take it literally.
Ranuel chapter 28 . 1/3/2010
This is really excellent! It's professional level story telling. I was surprised by the revelation of the real villain but you obeyed the rules of a good mystery by having all the clues in place beforehand and using clever misdirection to keep them from being noticed.
Stelmaria chapter 28 . 8/5/2009
An amazing story, I was hooked from the first word. I hope you never stop writing! The world wouldn't be the same without you.
Scarlett Burns chapter 28 . 8/3/2009
Ah, the suspense! This one had me up until 3am when I had to get up in the morning and work! But I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks for weaving together a tight little thriller that easily lived up to the first story in your series.

Happy writing,

Scarlett
werebunny131 chapter 28 . 11/4/2008
You, without a doubt, write the best Van Helsing fan fiction I have ever read in a long time. Well done.
Niana Kuonji chapter 28 . 8/6/2008
You are as bad as Vathara at keeping me up far later than I should be. I curse you and love you at the same time, for feeding my poor starved brain. I am going to bed now before dawn pops up in my window. *crashes*
mous chapter 28 . 3/21/2008
Hi!

I rather enjoyed your fic- there should be more gen in the Van Helsing fandom, IMO, as it has such magnificent scope and potential for adventure stories instead of the terrible Sues and schmoop that it's filled with- and thought you did a good job with the pacing, plot and character voices.

[Personal preference here, but I didn't like Ben and Ned and thought the inclusion of them was a bit... indulgent? Pointless? Rather Sue-ish to my mind (lookit this amazing character! they're completely pointless, but everyone loves them!) as everything they did for the plot (what little there was) could have been done by any mortal character.

I suppose my main gripe with those characters is what they were- the singling out of two innocents to be saved and sentenced/blessed (does depend on your POV) with perpetual youth and immortality until judgement day does rather belittle all other innocents and pure souls who have meaningless deaths. That, and you can't expect an old soul in a child's body to remain acting like a child its whole life.

Which all is, one supposes, more the fault of Mr. Jaques than you, but you did choose to include them. *shrugs*]

But yes, overall an enjoyable read which ate my afternoon up nicely.
Starshine chapter 15 . 9/6/2007
This was actually meant for the previous chapter - but FFN thought I was writing too much reviews and wouldnt let me. I was bathing in this marvelous feeling: still half the story to go, and there are such powerful cliffhangers already, Im all itching to know whats next and I dont need to wait to fing out. Oh, the wonders of reading a completed story!

A tiny bit of criticism, since this is the second time I thought about it. The Widows small child: unless its somehow VERY pertinent to the story, leave such characters out. They feel painfully mary-sue-ish, against a background of an almost professional story. Moreso if you already have a child character who is fairly pertinent to the story. Also, never describe small children as a "whirpool" - thats a brand mark of an average fanfiction writer, which you are most certainly not!
Starshine chapter 13 . 9/6/2007
This far into the story, I would like to commend you on the excellent research that went into this - I was impressed with the explanation for the pentagram, and even if it came from another book, there are other bits of info - such as ship names and stuff - that, being real, make the story so much more real too.

Also, I like the way nothing is predictable yet - the way you say "a pentagram is used for this, but also for that" is a tiny example. So, you leave clues and mislead at the same time, and leave the reader wonder.

Thirdly, the psychological portraits of the characters are amazing. There was a moment in a Carl dialogue when I could hear the actors voice - you know, a bit anxious, a bit cocky - saying your lines. The manner of speech in the film, and it was EXACTLY the same. You Gabriel is different though, but only because you made him to be so. Still pretty credible for a outerwordly being walking this ungrateful earth.

My wholehearted thanks for making this evening so enjoyable. Oreo cookies go well with your story, too!
Starshine chapter 2 . 9/6/2007
I read your fic Laeva Dei some years ago: the only van Helsing fic I ever loved. Now I saw the movie again, and went back to re-read it, and I found out there are more! What a nice surprise. The first 2 chapters of Perditor are as good as I remember you writing, but I will wait to read a bit more before I can write a good review. Wanted to drop a line now because I just LOVED the reference to Jeanne dArc. A definite thumbs up for making a girl Head of the Order... Subtle, yet recognizable: a true masters tough. Thats what I loved the most about the movie: the subtle reference to Gabriels origins. And your fics play around it with wonderful grace!
Sol chapter 28 . 8/23/2007
Don't you just hate that you can't leave multiple reviews for the same chapter while logged in? I suppose it keeps off spammers, but still...

So yeah. This is me, poking you for the sequel. Because... Uh... yeah. We wants to know what happens to poor Carl, precious. I had completely forgotten about that entire dangling plot point-probably in self defense so as I wouldn't sit here thinking about how you left us with a somewhat cliffhanger at the end of the story :-P.

So uh... yes. Sequel? *Smiles innocently*
Zarz chapter 24 . 8/15/2007
This story is absolutely great, and I love seeing Ned and Ben in it with Gabriel and Carl. It's wonderful how much you've managed to put in of Castaways of the Flying Dutchmen. The one thing I didn't see, which was a bit disappointing, was the bell sending Ned and Ben off. I know they don't really need it, being accompanied by Gabriel, but it would still be kind of fun. Perhaps part of the sending-off ritual is ringing bells, to warn evil spirits away from the path of the travelers or something? It's not necessary, but it would be kind of cute. Great work, and I'm definitely looking forward to the next installment of the series!
Zarz chapter 28 . 8/10/2007
Oh, wow! This fic, as well as its prequel Laeva Dei, were masterfully done! I am extremely impressed by both of them, as well as your ability to make the Archangel Gabriel someone human and understandable. I love the friendship between him and Carl, and I am desperate for the sequel as much for the restoration of that easy friendship as for the rest of the story and plot (though I'm *definitely* looking forward to that as well!) If you have too many plots running around in your head, I for one don't care - you just have to write a story to go with each of the plots!

I was also really pleased with your introduction of Ned and Ben into the story. It's odd, that for a pair so perfectly situated for fanfiction there's so little written about them. Gabriel's meeting with them, his attempts to protect their innocence, and his teaching them pressure points (I noticed that - great touch) were all done wonderfully. I loved his easy conversations with Ned, and I'd love to see some more short stories with them together. Perhaps one where they do need to call upon his aid?

Mostly I was just pleased with your ability to write a story about an angel. I've always been interested in them (I loved Touched by an Angel), but very few people are willing to try and portray a Heavenly being. I thought your characterization of him was very apt, clearly showing what he could and could not do; giving him power and authority equal to his position, yet still managing to make two wonderful stories with great plots and plenty of suspense.

Wonderful, wonderful work, and I am really looking forward to the next installment. I really hope it comes out soon!
Kes chapter 1 . 5/8/2007
Ah, lovely story.

...in an icky, skilfully disgusting sort of way. :P

When's the next one coming up, did you write any of it, didja didja didja?
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