|Reviews for Saturn's Guardians|
| JIMIRMA chapter 4 . 12/6/2014
TO TO GOOD. no offence, but you made everything a to perfect world. The writting is also of an amatuer. For one, 1 Ranma is super smart, but hiding it? 2 he gets the attention of a God from another planet when he is of earth? 3 he has a house in Juban fully stocked on martial arts, politics, and magic?4 he gets magically separated, and his female haf has another soul who is in LOVE with him? okay I can take one of those things, but together they give me a headache. The idea itself is okay, Hotaru raised by Ranma is dam interesting if done right. Alright,1 Ranma is smart, that is true when considered he learned Martial Arts tea ceremony in a single night, but Genma has done some serious damage and Ranma only learns MARTIAL ARTS and nothing else. His brain more or less doesn't allow him to. If you had him learning and awaking his intelligence for at least a few moths, him being intelligent I would believe. But it would be a slow process, one where he would have to hide from Nabiki.2 Him being noticed by another planets God a small possibility, him being a Senshi or Knight as he is,that one is nill. Fact is all senshi and knight belong to the planet they are from, so Ranma could only be an earth knight or you wanted to go for saturn senshi or knight idea, then he could have been a reincarnation from the silver millennium or a descendant from the people who escaped from Saturn to live on would make a lot more sense.3 The house inheritance is somewhat believable and would be good idea for some flash would have to be seriously sneaky to get the inheritance after all, considering everyone would have no problem reading his mail and he can't lie worth a dam. This could be a catalyst for his found intellegence. He would hide the inheritance, because it came from family and he wouldn't want to waste it on Ganma. The other thing about is you mentioned books on politics, martial art and magic. Dont get me wrong if you want of of those genre than good,but together they go WHF. I think you thought politics are cool! so Ranma should know that, and he does martial arts! and he NEEDS magics for his curse. That just really and really unlikely. While it is true that Ranmas family is martial arts family, it wouldn't be true that all distant relations are martial artists. Also magic is in no way common, Ranma only knows about magic because of his curse and even his father didn't know about it. Considering that both Soun and Genma traveled with their dreaded master and how much Genma traveled with Ranama without the knowledge of magic. Yes, it is rare, so a family member knowing magic and just happen to leave them in her living room or something is and politics, now how would Ranma really be interested in politics, well he might if he thought it would get him out of the fiance mess. But picking up psychology, human relations or even acting books would have been a lot more useful to him. I myself adore books and have many bookcase at home, and honestly they are almost random, I have supernatural books, romance books, computer maintenance books, business books, yoga books, cook books, horror books, well you get the idea. So if a collector like myself live to a ripe old age, they will either have one subject they learn about or work in joined by books related to it or have an ungodly mess from most random things in the world. Politics, martial arts and magic are not very related, people usually study One of them and only One. The house belonging to an old woman is way to large for her, it would be much more believable it it was a simple to story house with two or three bedrooms. The fact that only Nodoka is good, doesn't sit well with me and the fact that the old woman is the grandmother sits even less well with me. All Nodoka really cares about is man amongst men, she did allow Genma to leave with a 5 year old boy who knows where ,fully knowing they had a very limited amount of money and food. that isn't good mother material. And later all she cared about where grandbabies and how manly her son is having so many girls after him, and how even manlier he would be if only he didn't change into a girl himself and he could get all the girls pregnant. Ranma has Mommy issues, so yes, he will hang to her tooth and nail until proven utterly that she is not a good mother. Yes Nodoka has some good points unlike Genma, but she seems to be suffering the same syndrome that Kasumi is, the one that is I don't see anything wrong, oh how well everyone gets along. Making the diseased granny related to Nodoka is a somewhat good idea, just not that closely related that they knew each other. The letter left to her when she died is horribly cliche, almost as much as that fact that the house is in Juban(please, please chose another reasonable location).4. I could believe the cuse had a soul, IF and only IF one person fell into the spring EVER. Because if not, then what happens when more then one person falls in, what the soul gets copied over? it moves from host to host? not a chance. Also the magic only changes the physical body appearance, it doesn't change personality or behavior, if it does I am yet to see pandas walking on two legs and duck throwing knives. If you wanted you could have made the spring of drowned girl some special unique spring that works differently, that would be believable to have a soul. No why, oh why is that...that Sakura IN LOVE with RANMA of all people!? I know some pairings are out there, but even Ranma and Ranma would have been more acceptable. She was in his BODY and only sow and heard what he did, in other words she might as well be him. She also came from some centuries ago, so she is definitely no modern girl. Having her as a sister or friend who understand what Ranma has gone trough and is willing to fully support would have been great. The is no LAW in this universe that says every girl who has know the Great Ranma Saotome has to Love Him! there is also no rule or law that says he cant stay SINGLE for the duration of any story. Loving you body double, even if they are older and somewhat different is creepy and even creepier is the fact that she knows everything about you and you know nothing about her. THAT IS A STALKER. even if it was not intentional. Be honest even you would be creeped out to know some ancient ghost has been sharing your body and digging in your head. And how nine hells Ranma just accepts everything and says, ye, thats fine. where is the agst, the tragedy, the comedy?!
So yes, some parts make me want to pull my hair out, and I honestly read this fic to see just how conveniently perfect you are trying to make this fic world. You have some serious work to do if you want to have a proper fic, and yes some of my point can be counted null, but only with certain twist to the story you don't have. My advice is , don't super power a character, and remember they are human too even when they are not,they can't, just can't be all super smart, handsome, powerful and noble otherwise it stops being a story and becomes a rather realistic delusion. So go and give them some depth!
| Raynze76 chapter 4 . 10/25/2012
Good story would like to see you continue it as hate seeing stories like this remain unfinished
| Ranmaleopard chapter 1 . 5/2/2012
this is really awesome and interesting i cant wait to see what happens next please continue!
| DonPJuan chapter 4 . 11/5/2011
it's a bloody pity that this fic hasn't been updated lately or even adopted as I read it atleast 1-2 times a month
| Ranmaleopard chapter 4 . 9/14/2011
Awesome fanfic, it's very interesting! Please continue this!
| firedrizzt chapter 4 . 10/25/2010
ahh the story was getting good then I realized that you stopped years ago, it would be nice if you started again
| Hiryo chapter 4 . 5/28/2010
Very nice fanfic and hope we get an update soon. ;)
| cabrera1234 chapter 1 . 5/24/2010
like the story very much
| dglsprincess105 chapter 4 . 10/1/2009
Hi, still looking for information on the powers of the senshi, if so, send me a message and I'll help you out.
| potter phoenix 1 chapter 4 . 9/30/2009
this is a really good story and i hope you can update it soon
| Wrin chapter 4 . 9/14/2009
Try breaking up your sentences more. There are a lot of run-ons and you are a little skimpy with punctuation. Doing this will help the flow a lot.
| Kithrin chapter 4 . 3/25/2009
not bad... but i think you have some run on sentences when people are talking. i would also recommend slowing down on the dialog. the pace is a tad fast but not overly except for the dialog.
| doomedfighter chapter 4 . 10/3/2008
great story hope you continue it due to it being a great piece of work
| mythicalprogrammer chapter 4 . 4/7/2008
I wish you would update this fanfiction. It's very interesting so far. There are so very few RanmaXRanko fanfiction out there. It was a good read.
| SilentHypoCrit chapter 1 . 12/21/2007
Wow that was...not really good...at least the first chapter that I managed to read...maybe it got better later on but the way you set things up was just...boring.
I mean the Idea it self sounded really interesting, but instead of taking the time to slowly explore the consequences and especially hardships of this constellation...it all just fell into place without much hassle and too many Deus Ex Machnias (even though Saturn is a Kami of some sort) But just too many too too good circumstances.
Also introducing the actual Greek/romanc Goods as really powerfull entitys (I mean spliting a Jusenkyo curse, creating IDs and having money at the ready, all withing 24 hours - this dude has some serious Influence) without consequences for the Senshi. Not good. Sounds like: "Hey I am an all powerfull Avatar of my Planet, so all the Senshi must have one too, but they are they kind of overlooked us all the time because we were not that important and could not have changed things or at least advised them before."
In contrast to that all the too fast accepting of the Ranma of Sakura and Motherly duties...and all...is just boring and ooc.
Sorry, but this could have been much better.